2-day trip away from 13mo? - Page 2

[makuahine]

I would say it totally depends on the baby. Personally, I wouldn't go, but my dd is very very attached to me, sleeps with only me at night, and she still nurses every two hours or so around the clock. And she doesn't take bottles. So it would pretty much be out of the question for me. But you know your child better than anyone, and I think no matter what you decide your child will not be permanently damaged at all.

[ASusan]

Originally Posted by corrie_cat

What a diversity of opinions and experiences! Now I don't know what to do. I guess a 1-night test run is in order- great suggestion. I do very much feel that a small break is needed from a year of intense attachment parenting... but I would never do anything that hurt my baby. I had settled on a day trip to San Francisco (I"m in Seattle)- leave for the plane right after wakeup, then back in time for the first nighttime nursing.

One interesting thing is that my DH didn't react well to my telling him I wasn't going. He WANTS me to go. Maybe that means he wants more 1-on-1 time with her, and a chance to be her FT parent? Will need to ask him.

Off to ponder more...

I disagree that a 1-night trial run is a good idea. IMO, the child is going to be fussier the first night...and settles down after that. It will give you a false impression (possibly) of how the whole trip will go. (likely look a lot more negative that it actually will be on the whole)

And, I think your DH's reaction, too, is telling. Ask him why...I would also speculate that he wants you to get a break from things. Partners who get breaks are better parents. It's all about balance, of course (thinking about a thread in Parents as Partners where the H sleeps in every day...Wife never.).

[Frunchy Mama]

I have left my son overnight twice for business trips. Once for 2 nights when he was 8 months and once for just one night when he was 10 months I think. He and his father are very close and they had a great time together. When I left the first time, he had been waking every hour to breastfeed, and for his father he woke only once or twice per night. After I came back, he kept his pattern of waking only once or twice per night. I was great considering I had gone that entire time waking that often every single night since he was born.

He was not traumatized, he just had lots of time with his father. My situation may be a little different as he is normally with his father through the week while I went to work and school and with me on most evenings and all weekend, so he was used to being with his father. Only you know how close you are to your baby, but I def don't think it's a bad thing at all. Let her bond with Daddy! It'll be good for them both! You will be back and she will learn that you will always come back when you leave. Would it be as big a deal if Daddy left for 48 hours?

[Can Chasin Mama]

I left my DD at 13 months for a day and a half to go pick up a horse. She did fine, never missed me. Didn't even wake up during the night wanting to nurse, since I wasn't there to remind her to think about it. I pumped a couple of times during the trip for my own comfort and that's all there was to it. I guess it depends on the kid, but I don't think most of them are too young to leave them for a day or 2 at that age.

She is now 18 months and I'll be leaving her for 2 full days to take a horse to the vet. I don't anticipate any problems. Sure, I'll miss her like crazy and I imagine she'll be happy to see me when I get back, but I don't see it as a big deal.

She doesn't do sleepovers for fun with grandparents yet. When she is old enough to understand and ask to go, that's when she'll start those. I think DS was about 3 years old. BTW, I left him at 20 months (with my parents who he sees all the time) to go to Vegas for 4 days with DH for our anniversary and he never batted an eyelash!!

[moonmom08]

I left DD once for 24 hours when she was 10 months and still co-sleeping and nursing (I was a SAHM with her at the time). Prior, she was accustomed to taking the occasional bottle of EBM from DH, but not during the night. But she did take the bottle at night, slept with just DH, and otherwise did fine while I was away (was I maybe a little insulted? Yes! ). But, thinking back, I am fairly certain I knew she would be fine beforehand, just judging by her personality. I actually didn't feel a lot of apprehension when the time came to make the decision, and then to go (not that it wasn't hard to say bye bye, or that I didn't miss her!). But it was just...ok. So, if you find yourself REALLY uncertain, I would definitely listen to that inner voice too...obviously all LOs are so different.

On a practical note, I pumped over 30 oz in maybe 5 sessions over that time? So do plan on scheduling that (maybe bringing a hand pump to pump on the fly) and storing up that milk if possible (unless you're REALLY celebrating a lot ).

[kdtmom2be]

I'd go.
I left DD at 15 months overnight with my parents (my mom is very AP). It was my wedding night! She was still nursing at night at that time and my mom just cuddled her and rocked her back to sleep without any big issues. A year later she flew across the country with my parents while DH and DS and I drove. She is awful in the car and she did great, spent 4 days, 3 nights with them. She had one teary night before bed, but no issues other than that. If you ask her about it now she says she wants to do it again. One thing we did while driving was call every night before bed. She calls DH before bed every night so it was something that she is familiar with and looks forward to and the continuity of that was a good thing I think. (DH works evenings.)

I left DS with my mom for a night when he was 3 months I think? We'll be going for 2 nights around 12 months, DH and I have a conference to attend.

[Frunchy Mama]

Originally Posted by moonmom08

I left DD once for 24 hours when she was 10 months and still co-sleeping and nursing (I was a SAHM with her at the time). Prior, she was accustomed to taking the occasional bottle of EBM from DH, but not during the night. But she did take the bottle at night, slept with just DH, and otherwise did fine while I was away (was I maybe a little insulted? Yes! ). But, thinking back, I am fairly certain I knew she would be fine beforehand, just judging by her personality. I actually didn't feel a lot of apprehension when the time came to make the decision, and then to go (not that it wasn't hard to say bye bye, or that I didn't miss her!). But it was just...ok. So, if you find yourself REALLY uncertain, I would definitely listen to that inner voice too...obviously all LOs are so different.

On a practical note, I pumped over 30 oz in maybe 5 sessions over that time? So do plan on scheduling that (maybe bringing a hand pump to pump on the fly) and storing up that milk if possible (unless you're REALLY celebrating a lot ).

LOL--it is a lil tough to know and admit they do so well without us. Although really it's a blessing there's a capable Daddy around who our LOs feel comfy with....still there's that lil edge of insult in the back of the mind.

[pbjmama]

It really depends on the child. With my first, no way no how I could have left him at that age. With my second, I could and I did for about that same time period. It wasn't a problem for either of us, at all. She was happy with her dad and brother.

[OkiMom]

Id say it depends on the child. I wouldnt do it but my children would be very heartbroken if I left them. FIrst time I was away from DD1 was when DD2 was born and ended up in the NICU for 6 days. Even though DD1 was able to see me every day she still cried 1-2 hours every night and woke up crying 2-3 times each night looking for me. One night my DH had to call me at the hospital and have me talk to her over the phone because she was crying so hard she was throwing up. I would never have left her if I wasnt needed at the hospital for DD2.
DD2 had a hard time when DH and I left for with a babysitter (my MIL who she adored) for 3 hours while we did some Christmas shopping. She cried for the 30 minutes it took us to drive home and wouldnt get off of me for days afterwards so I definetly wouldnt consider leaving her until shes a lot older.

[laughymama]

I would say if you think she can handle it, then GO!

But, we do things very differently than many others. My DS has been having sleepovers at Grandma and Grandpa's since he was just a few weeks old. It works well for everyone and he has no issues with it but I know many would strongly disagree with doing this so early on.

But at 13 months I'd say it depends on how your DD and YOU feel about it. I know some mamas who would not be able to relax or enjoy themselves. If you feel comfy with it and think she can do it, then go for it.

[corrie_cat]

Thanks to everyone who replied with their advice and experiences. I decided not to go on the trip after watching my daughter closely for awhile, and determined that her separation anxiety right now is so strong that my absence for 2 days could definitely mess with her frequency. I appreciate people's advice to pay attention to my DD's particular, individual needs and temperament. That provided needed guidance in figuring this out!

Instead of going away, we're going to take a family trip together this weekend instead :-)