How did you do this?? - Page 2

[kjoy2]

Yay! That's great news!

FWIW, I never could nurse side-laying or laying down at all. I always sat up in bed, which worked best for all of us and seemed to = better feeds which = longer periods of sleep.

It's good to hear that the swaddling helped, too. Just in case you need this tidbit of info in the future, my babes would not sleep swaddled or on their backs at all. Eventually we put them down on their tummies, and they would actually sleep that way.

[Freeman]

I also have one-week-old twins! I've been so busy I haven't been on here to post about them, but they are here! They are so amazing but...as you know...soooo challenging! Like you, we got maybe 1 hour the first couple nights. Last night was a bit better. Things that may work: Wake them during the day to nurse at regular intervals. My twins seem to sleep all day and be up all night so far, and I am trying to get them fed and awake more during the daytime. Let them sleep wherever they will sleep at night - whether that means co-sleeping or sleeping in car seats, bouncy seats, swings, etc. Granted, this may not be the most AP solution or a long-term solution, but sometimes with twins, you just need solutions! Pacifiers, swaddling, etc., all seem to help, too. Also, tandem nursing, while it wouldn't be my first choice if time were not an issue, does seem to be a huge time-saver. Also, think about pumping and letting someone else do early nightime feedings so that you can get some sleep early in the night. I'm thinking I may try this sometime soon if things don't get much better. Finally, get all the help you can get. I have had some family help so far, and it's helped a ton with my older children. Also, think of it this way - it's bound to get better, b/c how can it get worse?? This too shall pass!

[nummies]

Well last night was more awful that it has ever been.

This is so hard.

[cdahlgrd]

yeah, its going to be that way for awhile. Sorry. Start calling people or groups for help. LLL, pediatritian, nanny agencies, church, twins clubs, neighbors, etc.

Take turns napping with your dh (is he home with you?).

[Intertwined]

For sure call in some help. Anyone. You need rest and help.

[DoomaYula]

^ Call in the troops. Let go of EVERYTHING except nursing and keeping your older son fed. (And yourself.)

[karmab]

there is so much good advice in this thread, i think you ladies have covered just about everything. the only other thing i might add is that sometimes, when you think they are crying because they are hungry, they arent really hungry. they might have a little tummy ache, maybe because they have cried and swallowed some air, or who knows why. do they burp good for you? that can be a problem sometimes. someone mentioned mylicon- i wish i had known about them when my twins were babies- didn't find them until baby #3. someone else mentioned that when dad or someone else has them, they might not root or act like they want to nurse like they do with you. good point, very true. pacifiers and the swings were big helps with my boys too. can someone put them in their carseats and take them for a drive for an hour or two during the day so you can nap? if your babies are really young, it's especially hard until your milk is really well established, but it does get better. take any and all help offered, and if no one offers, beg. and hang in there! (((hug)))

[Freeman]

Originally Posted by nummies

Well last night was more awful that it has ever been.

This is so hard.

I am right there with you! One thing that makes a big difference is some help - can you find someone? Family? Overnight nanny? Even a mother's helper to keep your other child occupied would be a benefit. I figure it can only get easier b/c it is so hard! I shiver to think what life will be like once my help is gone...

[Llyra]

I really do believe that sheer grit and blind stubbornness is the only thing that got me through those first six months with my twins. It really is hard-- excruciatingly hard. My standard of judging how I was doing was very simple-- is everybody still alive? Fed? Is anybody bleeding? Then we must be doing okay.

Even so, there were days when DH came home from work to find me and the twins and my 2 year old all sitting together on the bed, all four of us crying together.

One thing we wound up doing was declaring a short period of the night a no-nursing time. For us, it varied. For awhile, it was from 10 to 11 pm. Then later on, it was from 3 to 4:30 am. We gradually expanded it to a bit longer, like two hours or a bit longer. During that time, anybody who woke was DH's job. He would take them downstairs and comfort them away from me. It wasn't ideal-- there was certainly plenty of crying. But if I didn't have a time, however short, that I could predictably count on, I would have gone completely over the edge. DH wound up having to go to bed a few hours earlier, to make up the difference for himself, but that seemed only fair, seeing as I wasn't sleeping at all.
Later on, when they got older, it was from 4 to 6 pm. That was in the spring, and DH would take everybody outside.

I can say, though, that as hard as it is, it passes. It really does. Hang in there!

[attached2mason]

I've been thinking of you, Mandie . Obviously I've got no advice . . .I haven't been there yet. Just couldn't read and not respond.

I, for one, am officially terrified . I imagine I'll be posting much the same thing in a few months. Good thing there are so many mamas here who have lived through it and lived to tell about it. I met a mama IRL at DS's soccer game on Saturday with a 5yo DS and triplet 18 month olds. It was encouraging to see her dressed, showered, and not bawling her face off . . . reminded me that eventually it becomes . . .well not easier exactly, but different, with periods of sleep mixed in to help things along.

[yogafeet]

Wanted to come back and add some things that could be useful seeing as my last comment was just a yeah this is hard comment.

When the girls were little and would wake up to nurse, I would take the EZ 2 Nurse pillow out on the couch and nurse them both. So if one baby woke, I'd grab the other one, too, b/c it took them about 45 minutes to get a full feeding and back to sleep and I wouldn't want to stagger them since they would generally nurse every 2 hours. I would watch tv on the lowest volume. I eventually got headphones with a long cord. I would watch silly shows and movies and that would keep me pretty happy. I would have my cell phone and call my dh in the next room to come get them when they had fallen asleep and he would come and take them back to bed one by one.

They were too small to nurse side lying. I don't think I mastered the side lying until their heads were a bit bigger. Around 5 mos or so?

We also went through a swing phase during which it was incredibly useful.

I agree that it is one of the hardest things I have ever done. The exhaustion of nursing twin newborns is unimaginable to those who haven't btdt. It's just so hard when it is all on mama in so many ways!

xoxo

[rachel65655]

Originally Posted by nummies

Ladies, I am seriously about to lose my mind here.

How on Earth did you make it through this? Last night was literally the worst night ever. Every single night seems to go worse than the night before. Last night we were in bed at 8pm and I still only got one hour of broken sleep. One. hour. They just wanted to nurse all night long. Of the 10 hours spent in the bed, I had someone attached to my breast for 9.5 hours. The other half hour was spent changing diapers.

I just can't do this. I can't nurse them both together. It gives me a creepy-crawly feeling.

This is just awful.

I know just what you mean about tandem nursing just being too much stimulation all at once. I hate doing it.

I have resorted to giving the girls bottles at night to help me get some sleep. It takes me less than 45 minutes to diaper-feed-burp-and put back in bed while if I was nursing them, the cycles would take me well over 2 hours. By that time, it was time to start all over again. They still get breast milk in the bottles.

I have had to pump right from the start. Anna had latch issues and wasn't nursing properly and my milk production was dropping drastically already right after it came in. I am having to pump exclusively right now for the second time since they were born because we are all battling thrush AGAIN! We seem to be passing it back and forth right now but I am hoping with just pumping until everyone is cleared up - we can get back to nursing soon.

I don't know that I will ever be able to nurse Anna effectively since she always seems famished even right after she nurses. She just doesn't get anything. We met with a lactation consultant that was great but I just don't think that Anna is catching on to what she needs to do to get more milk.

[Novella]

Well. . . I'm sure it helped that I (always) sleep like I'm dead. My body's overwhelming bend on sleep completely overrides being in a less-than-favourite position or whatever.

I noticed a marked change in the nights around 4-5 weeks, I think it was.

With my older kids, I always just rolled to whatever side, latched baby on, and resumed sleeping. With the older kids, it was really only the first week or so before they were pros at this.

The twins were a few pounds smaller than my other kids, and slower to get the hang of this. Also, too much need for nursing at exactly the same time in the early weeks.

When they frequently awoke hungry, but were still small and floppy, I would arrange and huge pile of pillows in bed so I was semi-sitting, but with my head fully supported like in a recliner. I made pillows across my front for the new twins (didn't have my EZ-2-Nurse pillow until later). I always used the double football hold. Then I just pretty much conked out from over-tiredness.

It worked fine and in a month or so they could nurse side-lying, so then I just spent the night rolling over from one to the other as needed and sleeping was easier.

Mostly, I just kept rejoicing that the pregnancy was over and WE HAD TWINS!! That seemed to smooth over a lot.

Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. I know I was exhausted b/c if I layed down for a few minutes I fell asleep. But I never felt tired. That must make it a lot worse.

[daisie31]

I am right there with you mama, mine are 3 months and it's sooo hard. I have spent 2 evenings lying on my bathroom floor sobbing, "I can't do this, I just don't know what to do" over and over again...so bad dh called my mom to come over. It's so bad I can't seem to see the other side but I know it has to get better sometime.

I slept like Novella for the first 2 months and now I lay them next to me and nurse with one side lying and one slung over me. Some nights I don't even know which one I am nursing. I have also woken up looking for one of them only to find that she is latched and nursing on me. I have also looked for a third only to remember that there are only 2. It's nuts. I wish I had some advice but I haven't gotten there yet.

I have to agree that tandem is sorta icky feeling, too much stimulation. I tandem when I have to but prefer one at a time even if it means that much longer. All I can say is just hang in there, try swings, try anything.

Dena

[Intertwined]

Dena, have you been checked for postpartum depression, Mama? Having twins is VERY hard but your post has me concerned it might be something just a little bit more. MoMs are at a higher risk of postpartum hormone issues, too.

[GoodUserNamesTaken]

I have no words of wisdom, but I did want to say I'm SO there with you. My twins are three weeks old, and I have days where I feel ok, and others where I cry and cry and cry. Today is a good day, but writing this is making me cry...

((((hugs)))) Everyone says it gets better, and I'm just trying to get there! Some days, I wonder how I'll survive, but then. I try to remind myself that there are all these moms of twins who have survived... so I can too.

One thing that has helped, my husband watched the babies for 3 - 4 hours every night. I have to pump and supplement (and nurse) b/c of a bad start, so he just gives them bottles during that time. But even if you are nursing full time, he should be able to watch them for at least two hours, so you can get some rest. I get my sleep btwn 7 and 10 pm, b/c that's when dh is around to help.

My babies also will only sleep on my chest at night... and it annoys me sometimes, but I just want to SLEEP, so I doze on and off that way...

[daisie31]

Intertwined, thank you so much for asking I did have ppd with my son, for the entire first year but didn't realize it. My family has been watching closely and is concerned but I don't feel like I am depressed. Sure, I have had my breakdowns but I think it's normal???? At least I hope so. I feel mostly happy but what I really want right now is some consistancy. I am taking my motherwort though and a friend suggested lemon balm so I am going to get some of that. Thank you for the concern though, really, and we are keeping a close eye on it. Reading these threads makes me feel so much more normal because no one IRL gets it.

Dena

[Intertwined]

Originally Posted by daisie31

Intertwined, thank you so much for asking I did have ppd with my son, for the entire first year but didn't realize it. My family has been watching closely and is concerned but I don't feel like I am depressed. Sure, I have had my breakdowns but I think it's normal???? At least I hope so. I feel mostly happy but what I really want right now is some consistancy. I am taking my motherwort though and a friend suggested lemon balm so I am going to get some of that. Thank you for the concern though, really, and we are keeping a close eye on it. Reading these threads makes me feel so much more normal because no one IRL gets it.

Dena

I am glad to hear it. I just heard a ring of "something more" in your post. I've btdt with PPD as well. It's hard to 'read' someone online and I hesitated to post because I didn't want to offend you.

You're right, it IS harder and I think most of us MoMs experience a much more heightened postpartum distress period than moms of singletons. In my experience, anyway. Just keep an eye out that it doesn't roll over into depression, Mama.

Nummies, how you doing my friend? I've been thinking about you a lot. Give us a post that you're still alive and kicking We're all here to support you!

[daisie31]

I can't tell you how much I appreciate your concern. No offense taken at all. It's hard when you are in the midst of depression to realize that is what it is. It helps so much to *hang out* with other twin mamas.

[livingfree]

i slept sitting up, with the babies on the ez 2 nurse twin pillow, until they were about 3 months old. i used other pillows and blankets to make myself comfortable, called dh if i needed anything, and just slept in the chair. it actually worked out great and i got a ton of sleep!

also, when we started lying the babies down, we put them on their tummies. they slept better that way, so we went with it. we gradually transitioned to them sleeping off the nursing pillow (one in the co sleeper and one in a sleep nest on the table). between 3 and 4 months is when i got the least amount of sleep b/c they would both sleep short periods of time on their own and then i'd have them both in the bed with me.

now, at 4.5 months old, one is sleeping anywhere between 6 and 10 hours in the swing at night and the other one sleeps in the cosleeper next to me b/c he wakes up more often. so it does get better!