Did your older EC'd baby...

[sapphire_chan]

go through a phase of fighting diaper changes?

Since I already do 99.999% of diaper changes with Lina standing up, I'm guessing we'll avoid the diaper change tantrums, anyone btdt?

[hrsmom]

No diaper tantrums here. We also have done changes standing up. There were a few times that she very strongly indicated she didn't really want me to put a diaper on, so I didn't! If it was night time and she didn't want it, I just told her it was time for night night diaper, and she was ok with it. Nice thing to avoid, I'd say!

[marija_jane]

Its a good question. I've sort of assumed that this is one of the benefits of EC... I've often felt sad for the moms and kids struggling over diaper changes at the playground. (Kids screaming, crying... who wants that?) We never had to deal with any tantrums over diaper changes. Sometimes I would change a wet trainer while DS was standing at his lego table ignoring me. On the odd poop miss, I would either make a game out of giving him a huge bubble bath to get cleaned up because I was so out of sorts about dealing with a poopy diaper, or just change it quickly--usually he would say when he needed changed, and we would do it with him standing up. However, I didn't change a single diaper in the baby-laying-down position after the time he could crawl, and I think that is part of it because I think when they are laying down it is pretty much something being done to them rather than something they are involved in... psychologically, KWIM? Also, come to think of it, I don't think DS has done a poop at a playground since he was a tiny in-arms baby... and usually he would wait to pee until we got home or I'd take him somewhere (flower bed if there was no bathroom at playground.)

I think the praise aspect would be a huge part of it. There are many different beliefs among EC'ers but I believe its important not to say "good job" for pottying. I think it was Naomi Aldort who has written about how when you praise a child for pottying it creates a dynamic where pottying is something they do to please you, so that gives toddlers a lot of power when they feel they need to take a stand on their independence. In contrast, if pottying is treated as matter-of-course, everyone does it, then the kids treat it that way, too. I'd be interested to hear from others if this theory has played out for them.

[hrsmom]

Marija- I like that about changing diapers laying down. I totally agree!

I agree about the no "good job" for pottying. I haven't asked my parents not to say that, so thery do. I don't think she goes potty around them enough for it to be a big deal. On our recent vacation, my mom was there for most pottirs, and she dd say good job. For a few days after, Hannah would say "yay job!" after a potty. I was slighly horrified (not really)!! H. has been almost 100% dry since the end of our vacation, I never wondered if the praise had anything to do with it until just now. I think it was that she enjoyed the "noisy" toilet, she got a kick out of it! Maybe having someone else around made a difference? Or maybe it was just her time to stop wetting her pants. Was this part of the question, or just something you were thinking about?

p.s. to me, "good girl" is even worse than "good job"- she's good no matter where she pees!

[dogretro]

I do say happily, "There's the pee!" when dd goes in the toilet. We both tell her to use the potty "like a big girl". Sometimes we sing a song (usually in public b/c she can get scared easily). DD is also at the age where we have her sit whether she wants to or not, esp if she is wet. DD has never been bothered by being wet, so we do employ some classic potty training techniques in this way to help her understand that being dry is preferred. We do remain matter of fact (everyone uses the potty, you are not special for doing so), but DD does appreciate the happy attitude and occasional cheering.

She did go thru a time of fighting diaper changes. Now she only fights if it is poop, which is incredibly rare anyway. Yeah, THAT is the perfect time to kick and scream!!!! NOT!!!!! For undies, I have her step into them, but for diapers I get a better fit if she lays down, esp w/ flats b/c we use a snappi w/ those.

[JMJ]

Maybe I'm the odd one out, but 10 month old DD has been fighting it a lot recently. I've had to work really hard not to make it a power struggle. We're also on a potty strike, and I am not OK with just having pee and poop all over our carpets. I give DD as much control as possible. I can't let poop get everywhere... it has to at least stay in the bathroom. I do diaper changes while she stands, crawls, plays and even sleeps from time to time (since she won't stay asleep if she's wet).

For a while, she liked me to put on the new diaper while holding her upright, looking in the mirror, but then she started struggling so we had to find something different. Then, we made a game where she'd take off crawling as soon as I got her diaper off and go find something to pull up on, and I'd change her then, but then she quit finding something to pull up on. So, I'd just put it on her while she crawled until she started making a habit of just getting out of the bathroom and peeing on the carpet while she was crawling away. Just in the past couple of days, I've gotten the changing mat out again, and she has enjoyed making eye contact with me while I sing her favorite songs and put on her diaper. Her changing mat is on the floor, so she can get up any time she likes. My main goal is to get the diaper on her without restricting her movements, to work around her.

I think that our diaper changes are pretty peaceful, but I think that is more because of creativity and flexibility than EC.