Kissing girls at age 7??!!

[sierramv]

My son came home from being at the Boys & Girls club and told me that he and this girl Sam (same age) were doing something and it was a secret and he wasn't suppose to tell anyone! Okay, so as my heart is racing I told him that he doesn't keep secrets from us (mom and dad) and to fess up. Well he told me that Sam was leading him around the club to different hiding spots, kissing him. Mostly on the cheek, but on the lips too.

So of course we told him that is not appropriate friend behavior at 7, and that he shouldn't do that anymore. He said Sam would be mad and not be his friend anymore, which of course is fine with me.

My question is, is this normal 7 year old girl behavior?? My husband didn't seemed worried, but it seems a little young to me??

[HeliMom]

Sure, it's normal. I remember kissing my first "boyfriend" at 5.
I don't really think it's a sexual thing so much as a mimicking adult roles kind of thing. If you were uncomfortable with it you can tell your DS not to do it. To me it's not so much a big deal.

BTW kissing and holding hands was all that ever happened with my "boyfriend" who was my best friend for many years. The boyfriend/girlfriend thing was just another role playing game like cops and robbers or wild dinosaurs of the past fighting.


However, the secret part. That I'd be more concerned with. Why did they have to go hide? Why did the little girl have to make it a secret? I'd sit and talk with the little girl and find out who does things in secret that she's knows about. Because maybe she's mimicking something a bit more unsavory that she is exposed to. It could be as harmless as an older sibling/babysitter or something more insidious that you could call attention to.

[Spirit Dancer]

A quick kiss good-bye or when playing I would be ok with. But keeping it a secret, hiding it while doing it, doing it numerous times, friend being mad if it is stopped, these things I would totally not be OK with at 7.

[Oriole]

Yes, it's normal. I remember other threads here on this topic, and I told there the same story I'm going to tell here.

We were about 6 years old, and a little bit embarrassed (I get the secret part), and we did kiss behind the doors in kindergarden heh And we were best friends all through elementary school, and even now that he is married and I have my beloved partner of almost 10 years, and we live across the ocean on different continents, I still remember those experiences as sweet and innocent.

There was nothing sexual about it. It was all silliness and experimentation with "playing family". We were good friends at that age, and even thought about getting married, and that's all there is to it. Unless there are other signs for concern for this girl - there is absolutely nothing awful about the whole thing. It's all about curiosity and development.

[treegardner]

Totally normal. I remember kissing a boy on the playground at that age because I decided he was my "boyfriend."

[JL83]

I remember kissing a little boy at a wedding when I was 6.

We "hid" behind the community hall because that's what we'd seen teenagers do on TV... I know I never told my parents and I doubt he told his because we knew we shouldn't be kissing and I know I worried about getting in trouble.

[mamazee]

Totally normal. I had little boyfriends i kissed at that age and younger, as has my daughter. It's pretty darn innocent kissing they do at that age. I don't think the hiding/secret thing is even a big deal. We did that when I was little, but it was a giggly kind of secret, not a big deal. My daughter, too, hid when she kissed this little boy who lives near us, and giggled about it being a secret. You can read too much into the behavior of pre-pubescent children when you project your adult sexuality issues onto it.

[Sierra]

There used to be this giant truck tire in the playground. In the first grade, a few of us in a mix of boys and girls would climb inside and kiss. I wouldn't say we were explicitly hiding or that it was a "secret" really, but we definitely didn't kiss out in the open.

[mamadelbosque]

Another vote for normal. Though *I* didn't do any of that (I was far too much a tomboy and allthrough school could simply *not* imagine kissing any of my guy friends (and as probably 80% or so of my friends were guys, that accounted for virtually all of the non-family guys in my life, I distinctly remember lots of the guys and girls kissing in my kindergarten/1st/2nd grade classes... and lots more guys chasing girls around threatening to kiss them... and a few girls doing the same to the guys too I think I even did a bit of it tbh

[nextcommercial]

Yep.. normal. I still remember doing that too.

In first grade, the boys chase the girls, the girls run and scream, but let themselves get caught, the boys "lock the girls up", then the girls escape.

The chasing game, and kissing are normal, happy memories. But, I'd want to redirect the kissing too. So, help him learn how to "be too busy" tomorrow.

[Gentle~Mommy :)]

Absolutely normal, don't make a big deal out of it and don't make him unfriend her.

[Marsupialmom]

Perfectly NORMAL!

Just be careful. She seems to be the instigator. The month that my son went to 1st grade the girl was the instigator but he got blamed. I cursed at the teacher out over it to.

I came and picked him up. She goes "You won't believe what Xavier did today!" I was oh god what this time. The teachers says, "He got the little girl to get up and walk across the room and kiss him." There was no kids other than my son in the room. I asked her, "How the hell is it HIS fault when SHE can't keep seated." I will work on his behavior but that isn't his fault. No matter what HE did she is responcible for his own being.

[elmh23]

When I was 8, I chased my friend Alexander all over the neighborhood kissing him (and tackling him to do so!)

I've not parented this age yet (my dd is only 5), but I'm going to go with it being totally normal.

I would make it clear to your son that if he doesn't want to be kissing Sam, then he needs to tell her to stop and if she doesn't, he needs to go tell an adult.

[lilyka]

at that age we chased tackle and kissed the boys. so things could be worse.

I think you handled it fine.

[One_Girl]

I remember kissing a friend when I was five. We were both very curious about kissing and he dared me to kiss him like moms and dads kiss so I did. My dd hasn't been interested in this yet, probably because she doesn't see anyone at home or in the movies kissing so she doesn't wonder about it. She used to kiss friends on the cheek, but when she started kindergarten we made a rule about only kissing me or her grandparents.

I think you should talk to your son about good secrets and bad secrets and about the significance of kissing someone who isn't family. I have told my dd that if she is uncomfortable about something she needs to tell me especially if a friend or someone else tells her to keep it secret.

[Kirsten]

Originally Posted by HeliMom

Sure, it's normal. I remember kissing my first "boyfriend" at 5.

BTW kissing and holding hands was all that ever happened with my "boyfriend" who was my best friend for many years.

Same here. I still am friends with him 35 years later, and close to his family. Going to his sister's house for super bowl. His brother, sister, brother-in-law, and both parents are on my facebook!

Originally Posted by Gentle~Mommy :)

Absolutely normal, don't make a big deal out of it and don't make him unfriend her.

What she said.

[annethcz]

Absolutely normal. Kids imitate all sorts of adult behavior. We think it's cute when kids pretend to other 'adult' behaviors (pretending to go to work, nurse a baby), this is in the same realm.

[Drummer's Wife]

Another vote for normal (though, my 8 yo DD hasn't kissed a boy).

[sierramv]

Thanks everyone!

Sometimes it's hard to take a step back and view things objectively. I'm glad I didn't overreact. You are all right, of course. I was such a tomboy, my husband said, "didn't you play those games in school"; nope, I was too busy climbing trees and playing in the dirt.

Thanks! One less thing to stress over. I think he understood about the not keeping secrets from us, and that was the biggest issue.

Thanks again!

[Alyantavid]

I think it's pretty normal. I know my 7 year old recently got kissed on the school bus.

I do think the most important thing you can get out of this, is that he told you.