Getting out with a fussy baby

[MeredithK]

I'm trying to accept and adapt to the fact that I have a fussy baby. He is almost 4 months and we mostly have stayed home so far. While at home I have to be holding him almost all the time or he fusses.

But, I need a break sometimes! I'd like to start getting out and about more with DS. But...DS screams in his carseat. Cries big tears. Then, when we get where we are going, he only wants to be carried. He screams in the stroller and gets super fussy in a carrier (I have 4 different ones, too).

He actually likes it in stores or outside when you carry him, but that's really hard to do all the time. He's small, but I can't exactly shop or take long walks easily.

Is there something I'm missing? Do I just hope it will get better with time? Do I try a different seat or stroller? Any words of hope for this mom who practically stands on her head to help her fussy one?

[BlueWolf]

Fussy baby here too, but she's 6 months now. Getting out is our saving grace. Although, it's incredibly hard right now in the middle of winter in Chicago.

You said he fusses in the carriers? What carriers do you have, and does he fuss the entire time he's in the carrier(s)? Even if you're walking around? DD initially fussed in the Ergo, but as we started to move, she started to relax and enjoy herself. She now loves her Ergo, but it wasn't always this way. She had to warm up to it. She's pretty much in the carrier whenever we go out. If DH is with us, sometimes he'll just carry her. But he uses the Ergo too.

Now that she's getting older, she does like to sit in the shopping cart seat for awhile. She can still make eye contact with me, but she has a better vantage point and can smile easier at strangers.

No tips on the car ride / car seat problem. DD doesn't mind her car seat as long as the car is moving.

[Laur318]

my son is 9 mo and it's hit or miss. we go back n forth between carrier and stroller (we just have a hotsling and babyhawk). I can only chime in with this bit of help: DS likes his convertible "big boy" car seat much better than the bucket, because we go outside to put him in rather than buckling him in in the house. small change, but it works!

[hibiscus mum]

My son was super-fussy, but the fog started to lift about 2 weeks ago. I found that geeting out of the house was the only way to keep my sanity. In our case, he seemed to be happier outside of the house and enjoyed the change of scenery. I brought my Beco everywhere! We got one of those mirrors for the car with music and lights and that sometimes worked when he would fuss in his carseat. hang in there, mama!

[kgreenemama]

You might be interested in the High Needs Baby Tribe thread that is started on LwaB. (ESPECIALLY Bluewolf's letter. It's touching, to say the least.) Some moms have posted some really useful advice and ways of coping there.

Hang in there. Gradually, it does improve.
Hugs to you and your sweet LO.

[Louisep]

Sounds like a high needs babe - have you looked into the literature on this? There is also a thread on here about high needs babies. I have one and for the first few months I was so anxious about him crying when we were out, but at the same time, he liked to be out and about. DS didn't like a carrier until about 4 months old and then, he'd only face outwards (not recommended I know, but it was my saving grace). The other thing I had to give in to was using a pacifier. High needs babies have a high sucking need and he never found his thumb

It gets easier with time. DS loves carriers now and I'm not afraid to take him out.

You're doing everything right. Just keep trying him now and again in a stroller and different slings and positions - try facing him out. I'll never forget going to my first playdate at about 3 months and having to hold him the entire time, even while he took a nap. The other mothers looked at me so strangely! Now, he's social and outgoing, but still gets lots of time in the ergo.

If you're new to the topic of high needs babies check out the Sears' "parenting your fussy baby and high needs child" book. It saved my sanity!

[MeredithK]

Originally Posted by BlueWolf

You said he fusses in the carriers? What carriers do you have, and does he fuss the entire time he's in the carrier(s)? Even if you're walking around?

We have a Moby, Baby K'Tan, Ring sling and Pikkolo. He used to love the moby until he got to a point where he liked looking around. He does best in the Pikkolo as it's the least constricting. But, he's only fine in there for a few minutes, then he gets squirmy. Even when we are moving.

Originally Posted by Laur318

DS likes his convertible "big boy" car seat much better than the bucket, because we go outside to put him in rather than buckling him in in the house. small change, but it works!

I've wondered if he may like a convertible better.

Originally Posted by kgreenemama

You might be interested in the High Needs Baby Tribe thread that is started on LwaB.

I've been reading it. I wasn't sure if my DS is a high needs baby, but it sure seems like it. I'll have to pick up the Sears book.