Hatin' on Twilight

[annakiss]

I'm a smart, feminist woman. Why did I get sucked into the Twilight series? And why can I not stop thinking about them? And why did they have to depress me so much? I need a distraction. Somebody save me.

I read all four in the last week. It's been over for a day and a half and I'm still thinking about them. It's pissing me off and I hate the stupid pit in my stomach. I hate wishing that life were so simple that an effing man could solve all my damn problems or that superhuman strength, speed, intelligence, and wealth could eliminate all longing. This sucks. I didn't need to delve into this woman's sick fantasies. Why did I bother?

I can't believe I'm posting this in public.

[Monarchgrrl]

It's ok, it's ok. I was the same way. I wanted to hate them, too. Heck, I'm a lesbian and I still loved Edward! I thought about them for a long time. I re-read them about 4 times. Then I moved on to another series or two and I don't think about them anymore. It will pass. I promise. If you want to see how much you're not alone, check out the old thread about it. Post on there and you'll get lots of hugs and discussion. It started off about the movie, but it quickly moved to the books. But hey, I still think that "superhuman strength, speed, intelligence, and wealth could eliminate all longing". I mean, it's fun for me to imagine being immortal. I'd love to live like a vampire. Doesn't mean I'm not happy with life as it really is. It's fantasy. Just silly fun! It's ok to let yourself enjoy it.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...light=twilight

ETA: DW still calls Edward my boyfriend.

[Mrsboyko]

I was hardcore obsessed for a good 4 months, then it ebbed off. I am about a year out from first reading and it is much easier now, though I could still get sucked in pretty easily. Give it time.

[annakiss]

I don't want to fantasize about this. I don't want to be obsessed. I want to go back to real life and get my head out of the clouds. This is depressing me. It's like a drug or something. It's not worth it.

[JessicaS]

I would recommend reading something gritty like Kurt Vonnagut or something funny like Good Omens to drag you back.

http://microsuede.blogspot.com/2009/...-new-moon.html

[KYCat]

I understand not wanting to be obsessed but I'm not sure how much it is under your control. You have opened Pandora's Box. I too was quite disturbed by how I became obsessed with the series. (But I do think that I enjoyed the ride more than you are. I didn't like the obsession, but I did/do LOVE the books, and of course I still am embarassed to admit this in public.) I wish that I could be more optimistic but I think you might just want to settle in, it will probably take a couple of months to work through this. It took me four months, with a small relapse when New Moon came out and I'm expecting another in June/July.

I don't see it as a guy saving her from all her problems. He causes most of the problems in her life. But being with someone who loves you and thinks of you before all else, if you've got that I think that you can work through most problems in life. The characters are trying to be more and better than they should be. It is noble and our world doesn't have much nobility these days. It's quite intoxicating.

[annettemarie]

You would love the blog "Marks Reads Twilight (So You Don't Have To)".
http://markreadstwilight.buzznet.com/user/

His language is very salty.

In the beginning, it was more of a critical analysis of the books, but now he's a Breaking Dawn and it's pretty much just a string of incoherent curse words. Today was a thoughtful post though.

[annakiss]

Originally Posted by abimommy

I would recommend reading something gritty like Kurt Vonnagut or something funny like Good Omens to drag you back.

http://microsuede.blogspot.com/2009/...-new-moon.html

This link was perfect. Thank you.

I'm reading a non-fiction book about different types of families. I think I might read The Hobbit next.

[annakiss]

Originally Posted by KYCat

I understand not wanting to be obsessed but I'm not sure how much it is under your control. You have opened Pandora's Box. I too was quite disturbed by how I became obsessed with the series. (But I do think that I enjoyed the ride more than you are. I didn't like the obsession, but I did/do LOVE the books, and of course I still am embarassed to admit this in public.) I wish that I could be more optimistic but I think you might just want to settle in, it will probably take a couple of months to work through this. It took me four months, with a small relapse when New Moon came out and I'm expecting another in June/July.

I don't see it as a guy saving her from all her problems. He causes most of the problems in her life. But being with someone who loves you and thinks of you before all else, if you've got that I think that you can work through most problems in life. The characters are trying to be more and better than they should be. It is noble and our world doesn't have much nobility these days. It's quite intoxicating.

He does create all her problems, yes, but then ultimately everything is miraculously solved with super-human powers and vampiredom. And I'm sorry, but the illusion about true love that is created by these books is insane. Even the absolute most ideal relationship is nothing like what's represented here. Not in the least.

I married what is probably the closest possible thing to a soul mate and neither of us would die without the other. That sort of fantasy is disturbing. I would not want my partner to think of me before all else. I do not think of him before all else. I don't think that makes any good sense at all. I mean, love isn't logical, granted, but certainly we're rational human beings and whatever the relationship between Edward & Bella, it ain't healthy or realistic. As a archetype, it's a little depressing, I suppose to build that sort of expectation.

I think I'm disappointed in myself for feeling like wanting to die for someone is at all a desirable thing. I'd stand in front of a bullet to save my whole family - that's a given - but kill myself because I've lost them? What an insult to their memory.

Pedestalling this relationship is sort of demented. It freaks me out. What freaks me out worse is that I envied it at all. That I got sucked in. I don't want to sit on it. I want to get far, far away from it. I don't want to have this longing for endless wealth and eternity and the blatant knowledge of perfection in love through mind reading, etc. It makes me feel empty. And the logical brain says that it's stupid and unrealistic.

[Monarchgrrl]

Not trying to beat a dead horse here, because it seems like you are getting away from it by reading other things, but I take issue with one point.

You said "Even the absolute most ideal relationship is nothing like what's represented here. Not in the least." Well of course not. You're trying to compare human relationships with vampire relationships. You shouldn't do that. Of course it's not real. Vampires aren't real. Edward is a complete case of extremes, in everything he does. So if it seems extreme to want to kill yourself because the love of your life (your 100 year life) dies, then so be it. He's extreme. The books don't hold up the idea that true love = suicide if the other dies. Everyone in the books (besides Edward) agree that that is the wrong choice. Even Edward says he wouldn't want Bella to do that if he died, but for him that would be the choice.

I personally don't think it's that extreme to feel suicidal after a loved one dies. I felt that way for a little while after my brother died. I just wanted to be with him. I guess if I was as extreme as Edward then maybe I would have done it.

[dogretro]

You're trying to compare real life w/ a fictional novel. Really. A FICTIONAL NOVEL ABOUT VAMPIRES & WEREWOLVES. Think about that for a minute.

[Blessed_Bess]

A question for those who have read the Twilight series: would you rather have never read it at all? I ask because I haven't read any of the books, only saw the 1st movie. It did slightly pique my interest in reading the books, but I haven't yet since I'm not sure if I want to delve into that world. I totally got sucked into Harry Potter-world, and did enjoy that. (Don't know if that's even comparable, though.)
So, if you knew then what you know now about Twilight, would you read it all over again? (Should I?)
Just wondering!

[Arduinna]

Originally Posted by dogretro

You're trying to compare real life w/ a fictional novel. Really. A FICTIONAL NOVEL ABOUT VAMPIRES & WEREWOLVES. Think about that for a minute.

Exactly

Blessed Bess, I resisted reading them originally because of all the negative stuff posted here about them but eventually I was looking for some new fantasy fiction to read and decided to just read the beginning of Twilight and see if I'd like it. I ended up really enjoying the series. I read Midnight Sun on Stephanie Meyers site also. In fact I'm rereading them now.

I'm not sure what happens in these situations. I'm not sure if it's just the whole, it's popular so I must hate it because it's not cool to like popular stuff? Part of what I've seen is what I describe as the self loathing and kill joy of the feminist movement where the only acceptable portrayal of women is one of perfect independence and confidence to the point where men are at best tolerated co-stars.

IMO people have their own agendas, rather than fall into the group think, best to check it out and see for yourself. I know bunches of people that loved Harry Potter books and I just couldn't get into them. Some people tried Twilight and didn't like them. Decide for yourself.

[JessicaS]

Edward was too control freakish to me.

I thought they were entertaining and everything but that was it.

I don't have an agenda, I either like a book or I do not. I didn't think it was great, I didn't like either Edward or Jacob. I found Jacob less annoying.

I can't imagine my teenage self dating someone like Edward. My mom would really have hated him. (she preferred Jacob)

[annakiss]

Originally Posted by dogretro

You're trying to compare real life w/ a fictional novel. Really. A FICTIONAL NOVEL ABOUT VAMPIRES & WEREWOLVES. Think about that for a minute.

Oh what the eff ever. Sure. Like no one ever internalizes anything. Jeebus.

I love Harry Potter. Love Harry Potter. Got way sucked in, have no problem, no longing, no emptiness, no nothing. Just good feelings and a fun fantasy world.

Twilight is another beast. Apparently this only applies to me and I'm the only one who dislikes it. Fine. Maybe I'm just delusional. Or maybe I'm just a tad stressed out. Maybe it's time to fall in love with something else. Maybe it's this play I'm doing. Maybe I'm sucked in to everything right now, feeling stuck and that hit a sore spot. Whatever. I'll find a way out...

[Viola]

I have felt really sucked into books and depressed that they weren't real or weren't my life, but I just didn't feel that way about the Twilight series. But I know a lot of women who did, so I feel for you.

[tinybutterfly]

I think it left me with a longing to be young again and to have a love that is so secure, but I don't think it hit me so hard maybe because I am very Team Jacob. I rarely make it through Breaking Dawn on re-reads, because I still can't figure out WHY Bella would pick Edward over Jacob. I just don't get it.

It will pass.

It sounds like it stirred something up inside of you in a really big way.

Just a question...instead of shoving it back down and moving on, what if you worked through it, examined it, picked it apart, then let it go?

Music, art and literature ( not that Twilight exactly qualifies as real literature ) touch us on a really deep level sometimes, pulling up things we weren't even aware were inside of us...and yea, sometimes that is uncomfortable.

I don't know...there is love in the real world, but there is also an ideal of love, I guess like there is also an ideal of beauty and truth.

The whole Romeo and Juliet/suicide thing is distracting sometimes, because I am not sure it's about the death part so much as it is about loving someone so much in such a special way that it supercedes everything else?

I read a good book once, that was more realistic, but it's Christian-based, just so you know, titled A Severe Mercy by Sheldon Vanaucken. It's about ideal love, but without the suicidal tendencies.

However you choose to handle your feelings and the whole Twilight obsession, good luck! It does pass.

Breaking Dawn is still sitting in my bedroom from my last re-read. I am only at the part where Bella has had Renesemee. I just don't think I'll finish it this time. It's been sitting there since before Christmas. She never picks Jacob, no matter how many times I read it.

[velveeta]

Like all of you, I read these books ravenously. But, I am not really intrigued by the movies, and when I was finished, I felt kind of a hangover, to be honest. They're not like Harry Potter, which I have re-read millions of times. I guess they speak to a baser part of ourselves, something primitive. I was "in the dream" until they had their baby and named her RENESMEE?! Could there *be* a more ridiculous name? NO, there couldn't. So, that woke me up. The only thing more stupid was her middle name!

Anyway, I just posted to comment that it seems like no one is immune to these books. Monarchgrrl, I couldn't stop laughing about your post -- the one about your "boyfriend". That is so hilarious!

[tinybutterfly]

Originally Posted by Blessed_Bess

A question for those who have read the Twilight series: would you rather have never read it at all? I ask because I haven't read any of the books, only saw the 1st movie. It did slightly pique my interest in reading the books, but I haven't yet since I'm not sure if I want to delve into that world. I totally got sucked into Harry Potter-world, and did enjoy that. (Don't know if that's even comparable, though.)
So, if you knew then what you know now about Twilight, would you read it all over again? (Should I?)
Just wondering!

Absolutely I'd read it again, even knowing all that I know now! It was a fun ride! Not always pleasant, but I'd do it again!

Should you? Why not?

Take a walk on the wild side, come on over to the dark side.

It's a fun book. Much better than the movie, too.

[annakiss]

Originally Posted by tinybutterfly

It sounds like it stirred something up inside of you in a really big way.

Just a question...instead of shoving it back down and moving on, what if you worked through it, examined it, picked it apart, then let it go?

Yeah, I've been trying to figure it out and I can't. I think that falling in love sounds really nice. Not with a man, but just in love. I'm done having kids. I've got true, everlasting love in a relationship, but the whole falling part is something unique and I've not done it in awhile. I think really it's winter. That's what my problem is. We're really busy. We're not where we thought we'd be in life a few years ago.

The chord that was struck may be a longing for something new and exciting and life-affirming. I'm curious as to why my new foray into theatre isn't doing that at the moment. Maybe it's just winter and I'm stressed. I'll evaluate again soon and see where I'm at. Give it a couple of weeks of not being this sort of insanely busy (I'll likely replace this sort with some other sort) and feel it out then.

Thanks for talkin' with me.