Moms of babies who won't be put down

[evinmom]

This might make you feel better.

Research indicates that carried babies:
* Cry Less! (43% less overall and 54% less during the evening hours)
* Are Healthier! (gain weight faster, have better motor skills, coordination,
increased muscle tone, and sense of balance)
* Get a better view of the world! (babies pushed in strollers or lugged around
in car seats only get to see the adult world at knee-level)
* Become Independent Faster! (making them more confident and less clingy)
* Sleep Better! (they fall asleep quicker and sleep for longer periods of time)
* Learn More! (not overstimulated, but calm and alert, observing the world
around them)

[Tattooed Hand]

I was also looking at the High Needs babies thread in the Life with a babe forum.

We were going to get a part time nanny for Rassa to help me get my work done from home but judging by other people's inability to deal with her and care for her as she needs and read her cues, DH and I are thinking of delaying this and working something out between the 2 of us. I have just noticed that when I leave her in someone else's care (DH does fine, but anyone else like mom or MIL) for several hours she is Very fussy afterwards all evening to the point of lots of angry crying and fussy nursing and only I can sooth her. I am going to hire a cleaning lady and get better with wraps and try to take care of her myself. I can leave her with DH 2 afternoons a week when I have to do the out of the house portions of my job. And if I get fired, then so be it.

You should have seen me in class yesterday, I'm not at all sure I was coherent.

[doclegs]

Thanks for posting that! My little one doesn't like to be away from me much, and she screams bloody murder if I put her down. Luckily I finally figured out my wrap this week, so I can at least wash dishes or eat with two hands. I'd really like to be able to leave her a little more though, Momma needs to work out!

[lalemma]

I read somewhere that the "average baby" cries X minutes a day at this stage. X was a LOT OF MINUTES. I felt so horrified, and then immediately afterward like kind of a tool for ever feeling whiny about wishing I could put H. down sometimes.

Because he basically doesn't cry. Yes, he cries in tiny bursts when he needs something: I'm hungry, turn me around so I can see something else, pick me up. But those are maybe 10 seconds of crying at a time, and he's immediately consoled when you try to solve his problem.

As stressed as I sometimes feel right now, I KNOW I would probably flat-out lose my mind if he cried a lot and were inconsolable. I am in awe of parents who are able to handle that, you know?

Also, a baby we know a little bit is a few months older, and the mellowest baby ever. She's very undemanding. At first I thought: wow, how glorious to have that kind of baby! (And don't get me wrong, I still wouldn't object.) But then I noticed that because she's so laid-back, it's very easy for her caregivers to leave her sitting pleasantly in her bucket for hours at a time. I think that you probably, if you have a super-mellow baby, have to be really tough on yourself about making sure you interact with her and don't just leave her alone while you get things done. I don't know if I'd be able to do that!

[evinmom]

I know what you mean lalemma. None of my babies were/are mellow, but DD was the inconsolable sort. I can deal with holding 24/7. Inconsolable is a different matter altogether. I had really bad PPD for a LONG time after DD was born. Everett is fussy sometimes, but he's usually quite content as long as he is being held/worn by DH or I. This PP period has been much easier on me so far.

[evinmom]

Mana - I'm very impressed that you are working already after only a few weeks. I can hardly form a sentence most days.

[lalemma]

Originally Posted by evinmom

Mana - I'm very impressed that you are working already after only a few weeks. I can hardly form a sentence most days.

Me too! I'm a writer, and I'm supposed to be writing right now so I can turn something in within a reasonable time frame. I came up with a whole plan for it and everything: I just need to spend 30 minutes here and 30 minutes there...

But I can't get my brain to function. Whenever I have 30 minutes I end up reading news articles or something. Sigh.

(This gets better, right?)

[Awaken]

LOL, well then my child will be a genius and very independent!

Originally Posted by evinmom

Mana - I'm very impressed that you are working already after only a few weeks. I can hardly form a sentence most days.

same here! I just got a call to do a very easy consult, and I can barely even think about how I would even begin to do it. This is something I recently did all day long, with very complex cases, every day, and could do in my sleep.

[nannymom]

my dd was super high needs and was a can not be put down baby. I also swear to you all that she knew the difference between me and other caregivers immeadatly. She was a terrible sleeper as well. Now at five she still demands a lot of attention but she is smart, funny, independant, assertive, secure, and she sleeps all night.

Henry is sort of an in between baby. He prefers being held and sleeping on us but he will sit alone and sleep alone a little each day. Since he is my last baby and i am not having to work and bring him with me(like I did the first go round) i am trying to just enjoy it.

I know it can be really annoying to hear this but I truly feel like I wasted time fretting over house work and other things that "had" to get done the first time. I wish I had just enjoyed the baby and not felt so much angusih over her demands. I know that's easier said than done especially when you have a job or other kids but I highly reccomend letting go of litteraly every thing that can be put off and just enjoy the baby.

[Tattooed Hand]

I agree with nannymom. I am feeling better and better about having a meal service ($64 a week for 6 meals that serve 2 each and they are healthy and macrobiotic), a laundry service (we don't have a washer and dryer) and a cleaning lady. Instead of spending money on childcare, I can spend the money on other services and focus on taking care of Rassa and my job. It just feels right not hand her over to a nanny or to stress about how much time she demands just to have the bathroom clean and the clothes washed.