Nursing in front of coworkers?

[crunchy_mommy]

Do you? Would you?

For some reason the one group of people I feel totally uncomfortable nursing around is my coworkers. Granted the opportunity rarely arises -- I WAH so I mostly just get together with everyone for lunch once every couple months w/ DS in tow.

However, although I've never bottle-fed, I have a feeling I wouldn't have any discomfort bottle-feeding in front of them.

I feel like by not doing so, I'm admitting there's something inappropriate or shameful about BF'ing. But at the same time, even when we're just out for a casual get-together, I feel the need to maintain a sense of professionalism -- which for me includes not whipping out a boob in front of them.

Thoughts? Criticisms?

[annekh23]

Not these days, I don't have coworkers, but with my first, quite frequently, to not have done so would have meant avoiding all social situations. But it all began in my boss's office, I'd popped in to get something, or do something, not sure what, had the baby with me, he happened to be around, wanted to chat and when the baby made murmurs to be fed and I didn't respond, he was pretty clear that he had no issue with it, almost to the extent of not really allowing me to end the "meeting" if I did want to go and feed in private.

As for maintaining a sense of professionalism, I guess I find it hard to mix maintaining professionalism with having a child with me. My job wasn't one where that was an issue, but I wouldn't have planned a meeting and taken the baby and if I couldn't find a sitter, or it fell through, I'd have contacted them to rearrange, but I'd have explained why, to allow them the freedom to say, oh, feel free to bring your baby and if that freedom is given, to me it means boobs and all!

[LovnMyBoys]

I've nursed tons in front of my co-workers. My situations is probably different though because I work as a nurse on a baby & parent team, so we're always in the presence of breastfeeding moms.

[crunchy_mommy]

See, I think my first interaction with my boss after DS was born really impacted my views on this. He made it very clear that my son was a huge inconvenience in every way, in his eyes. And he was kind of anti-women. That boss is no longer with the company but the negative interactions are still in the back of my mind and really affect how I interact with everyone in the company because many of them are related to him & each other etc. or share similar views. That's great that your boss was just fine with it!

[crunchy_mommy]

Originally Posted by LovnMyBoys

I've nursed tons in front of my co-workers. My situations is probably different though because I work as a nurse on a baby & parent team, so we're always in the presence of breastfeeding moms.

That's cool! I feel like my situation makes it so uncomfortable. I work with mostly men... I think there are 2 other women in the whole company... and we do web design. A few of them know I nurse but I think most would be freaked out even if they knew I'm always NAKing while IM'ing/calling them...

[tessie]

Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy

I feel the need to maintain a sense of professionalism -- which for me includes not whipping out a boob in front of them.

I only bf around colleagues of a similar level and never at work. That was fine.

I wouldn't feel comfortable bf in a work situation and in front of senior colleagues. But it's less a bf issue and more a mothering issue - I want to be known as Ms X, professional, whilst at work, not Mum.

[ein328]

So I'm in the military, and I work with mostly men (and the macho type, at that!)

I never nurse in uniform (mostly because there are no regulations regarding doing this), but I do nurse around co-workers and the boss in civilians clothes. So I've nursed around them at work get-togethers and such, just not in uniform.

And guess what? No one has been weird about it, or at least they haven't said anything. I do pump at work, so it's not like they don't know what I do at home.

The worst I get is a request for fresh goods for their morning coffee!

[crunchy_mommy]

Well you guys are making me feel brave, maybe when I go to lunch tomorrow I will nurse in front of them if DS happens to get hungry!!!

[mambera]

I have nursed in front of 3 female coworkers but they are also friends and they were visiting my house at the time. Two of them were clearly not comfortable with it and left as soon as I started (one of those two is a mama whose DD was 7 mo at that time btw - she bf but had dried up by then due to pumping).

I would NEVER nurse in front of male coworkers, or even any of the women who were not also my friends. Actually I am getting weird vibes from people about the fact that I am still pumping even though DD is not even 8 months old yet. A couple of people have asked how long I plan to go. People who haven't had kids just don't realize how long babies need milk for.

Kicker is that I'm an MD (not anything to do with peds or OB, but we all had to do peds and OB rotations in med school so everyone should know what boobs are really for).

[ErinsJuneBug]

I have and would, but i am also a nurse. I've even had a doctor walk in on me while i was pumping! No big deal!

[crunchy_mommy]

Originally Posted by mambera

I would NEVER nurse in front of male coworkers, or even any of the women who were not also my friends. Actually I am getting weird vibes from people about the fact that I am still pumping even though DD is not even 8 months old yet. A couple of people have asked how long I plan to go. People who haven't had kids just don't realize how long babies need milk for.

Yeah, when I visited work when DS was maybe 5 month or so, people were like, 'You're not still BF'ing are you?' Wow, my kid wasn't even 6 months old and they were already shocked I hadn't stopped yet. Now he's a year... I'd love to see the looks on their faces if they found out I plan to nurse him 'til 2 or 3 or 4!!

I guess this is a touchy subject because on the one had there are my rights & standing up for BF'ing moms but on the other, I don't want to create any weird vibes or even worse, jeopardize my job... I wish my workplace was more female-friendly (many other examples, all the women even get paid less & can't move up the 'corporate ladder' etc.) but I'm glad at least I'm WAH now & don't have to deal with it on a daily basis! Oh gosh I could only imagine asking them for a place to pump...

[ein328]

Sometimes people surprise you! As I said, I'm in the military, and I've had a bit of a fight in that most people that I work with are single males, and have no clue what breastfeeding is about. Further, the moms who are in the military with me tend not to breastfeed very long, if at all.

When I pump, I put a sign on my door that says PIP- for "pumping in progress" so people don't harass me. When people do knock on my door, my male coworkers are quick to inform the person- hey- she's pumping for her baby! It's pretty funny, actually.

The point I'm trying to make is that sometimes the people you'd expect to be the least accepting of breastfeeding/pumping can actually be pretty supportive.

And when I said I have bf'd in front of coworkers, I have done so only with great discretion (and grrr....I hate that word!) When I'm not around coworkers, I'm the first one to NIP without a cover, blanket, etc. But when I'm around them, I take care to cover up.

Once they see the baby you're pumping for, it helps to reinforce with them that you're doing an awesome thing

[ein328]

Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy

Oh gosh I could only imagine asking them for a place to pump...

LOL- my boss is a colonel and a pilot at that- one of the most macho-type jobs around. And he was awesome in making sure that everything goes smoothly in terms of me having a place to pump (and by regulation, a bathroom does not constitute a place to pump). He even checks in from time to time to ask how the baby is and make sure no one is harassing me.

The bottom line is- don't be afraid to ask! Now that other people know what I'm doing, soooo many moms and dads-to-be stop me and ask me questions about it- it's a great opportunity to advertise the wonders of breastfeeding!

[crunchy_mommy]

Originally Posted by ein328

LOL- my boss is a colonel and a pilot at that- one of the most macho-type jobs around. And he was awesome in making sure that everything goes smoothly in terms of me having a place to pump (and by regulation, a bathroom does not constitute a place to pump). He even checks in from time to time to ask how the baby is and make sure no one is harassing me.

The bottom line is- don't be afraid to ask! Now that other people know what I'm doing, soooo many moms and dads-to-be stop me and ask me questions about it- it's a great opportunity to advertise the wonders of breastfeeding!

Well if my (ex)boss had his way, I wouldn't have even had a baby. I have a lot of resentment (if you can't tell!) toward the company as a whole. But you're right, aside from him, I probably would be surprised... ok I'm going to say something that will likely sound totally wrong BUT I find that men tend to be a little more open-minded, especially in relation to babies... Whereas women are more likely to be set in their ways and defensive of their own choices. Maybe that's off-base but that's what I seem to have notice. So maybe it wouldn't be as bad as I'm imagining. But either way I'm glad I get to work from my bedroom and feed my DS all day long

So I guess at lunch today we'll see if DS gets hungry!!! I'm feeling courageous now! But it will depend who shows up at lunch too...

[boobs4milk]

i agree with anne. if your baby is there, isn't professionalism expected to be a bit more relaxed? i mean, what if you're eating and baby vomits everwhere or poops loudly? i think i'd be more embarrassed if that happened than if i bf!

[JessicaS]

I have.

I have nursed in front of my co-workers and superiors but that probably isn't really helpful considering who my bosses are now

I did nurse when I worked at the comic book store, no one made a big deal of it.

[proudmomof4]

Originally Posted by boobs4milk

i agree with anne. if your baby is there, isn't professionalism expected to be a bit more relaxed? i mean, what if you're eating and baby vomits everwhere or poops loudly? i think i'd be more embarrassed if that happened than if i bf!

Which reminds me - my now almost 12y old once burped in my boss's face - very, very loudly. It sounds very funny now but back then it was a little ... (This wasn't an official meeting, I sort of ran into him in our music school office but still!)

I've nursed in front of colleagues (in Germany) and I've gotten mixed reactions, not the "discretion" thing but more the "it's not professional" remark. Mind you, I'm a music school teacher (I teach recorder and give lessons comparable to "Kindermusic") - so people around me should be aware of the fact that their prospective students need to "come from somewhere"?

[haydn'smommy]

I've nursed in front of many of my coworkers over the years. Of course, I work in pediatrics and I'm the CLC in the office, so I'm kind of expected to nurse by baby everywhere!

[chlaal]

I have and would again. I have no shame.

I work in a fairly male-dominated industry (software development) so typically most of my coworkers have been male. With my first baby I had an arrangement with my boss (who had just become a new dad a few months prior) to bring the baby to the office a few days a week and work from home a few days a week. I nursed whenever needed, regardless of who was present. I honestly felt that if they had a problem, it was THEIR problem. I wore nursing shirts and nothing was visible -- I hate that phrase "whip out a boob" because it's just so inaccurate. Most nursing mamas are not really whipping anything out. And I just felt that if I acted like it was no big deal, it would BE no big deal.

With #2, it was a different boss (but same company) so I didn't have the same luxuries -- but I did come by the office once during my mat. leave to catch up a bit, and was sitting in my office nursing with the door closed when a few coworkers came by to say hi. I didn't stop nursing. It actually led to some interesting conversations later with a young male coworker who was completely clueless about all things BF-related and asked a lot of good questions. He clearly was fascinated by it in a purely geeky sort of way (like, as a mechanical/engineering design thing).

I also did not make a secret of pumping, though I didn't advertise it either. Once a coworker came in while I was pumping and we had a whole conversation without him realizing a thing. I had my shirt covering the horns, and the pump itself was sitting on the floor. Only after we had finished talking and he was about to leave, he paused and asked, "What's that noise?" and I sweetly replied "It's the breast pump." He turned the brightest red you've ever seen and left at the speed of light.

[laohaire]

It's weird, I NIP pretty much everywhere but I did feel a little uncomfortable BFing in front of my coworkers. No idea why.

My boss is even crunchier than I am, so no problems there. In fact I owe a tip of the hat to his wife who nursed her son in front of all of us, and they did CLW (he BF until age 4, when her milk dried up during her next pregnancy). Without her influence I am not sure how long I would have nursed; I might have felt the pressure to wean at age 1. (DD, age 4, is still nursing but down to only once a day by now, CLW).

But my coworkers, I only nursed in front of them during a trip, when I really had no choice. (It was a retreat kind of thing). They were all male. They were all junior to me, though, and like I said my boss is ultracrunchy, so it didn't have anything to do with fear of jeopardizing my job or professional advancement.

Maybe it was just because the guys were all unmarried, no kids. And probably they were uncomfortable and I knew it. I am a lot more comfortable BFing around fathers, even if I don't know if their kids were BF or not.