Scared out of my mind! I lost DS (temporarily)

[InMediasRes]

I have seen so many of these stories, and I always think, naively, that it won't happen to me.

I lost DS for a good 5-10 minutes at the mall today. We were playing in the play area, DD in the sling. I had my eye on him because he gets freaked in those places sometimes and takes off. I was watching him when a mom with a toddler, about 2, and a very tiny newborn caught my eye. She had the newborn in a sling and was struggling to wrestle her toddler into a stroller. I still watched DS and asked her if she needed help. She launched into a barrage of questions about using a sling, and I told her that hers was really too big (I don't know if I would have stopped to help her otherwise, this baby really looked like it was going to fall out of her sling, but I had my hands full with my two). In the 2 seconds that it took for me to excuse myself and run after Andrew, he was gone. No where in sight.

I panicked. I totally lost my head. All I could think to do was run up and down the area where we were calling for him. I asked two other moms who were near the entrance to the play place if they had seen him. They said no, but immediately offered to help, and snatched up their kids and ran in opposite directions. One of them had a store owner call mall security. A kiosk worker also helped me look. I am so grateful that people are so understanding and helpful when you need them.

Mall security was absolutely no help. These two huge guys just told me repeatedly to calm down (yeah right!) and then walked at the slowest pace possible around in a circle.

Just as I was about to lose it, here comes Andrew, waltzing down the stairs. One of the other moms goes to get him and I ran to hug him and squeeze him and drag him back home. That moment when I saw him...oh, I just don't even know how to describe the relief. He was coming down the stairs to get me to show me something . He looked like he had no clue that he was in danger. We talk all the time about staying close to mommy, but I think he got interested in something and ran off.

I may never go to the mall with him again. At least, not when there are so many people there. I really just needed something to do today, and thought he could climb and run and burn off some steam. I don't handle crowds all that well either, and I get overwhelmed when there's too much to look at. I can't believe I just lost my head like that. All the horrible thoughts that were going through my mind... I just don't ever want to relive that again.

Deep breath. I just needed to write about that.

[RiverSky]

Hugs to you. That sounded scary but I'm sure it happens once to most of us. Fortunately, he was just being a normal little child, exploring his world.

[Drummer's Wife]

It happens. It's sooo unbelievably scary and nerve-wracking, but it happens.

I'm so glad he's okay.

Sending you peaceful vibes so you can feel calm and at ease, and not beat yourself up.

[pauletoy]

It happened to me at a football game this fall. Sad thing is I didn't even know dd age 3 was missing until they called me over the PA system. I thought she was with dh and he thought she was with me.

Don't be too hard on yourself. It happens to most moms. I am glad your little one is safe in your arms again.

[laila2]

It happened to us at Nordstroms with dd then 5

It was terrifying,

Dh used to be casual about her running just out of site (I always tell him to run but he does not). Now he is not so casual about it.

She was playing a game of running in and out of clothes racks and got lost. When dh came to me looking lost himself and told me he could not find her, I went immediately to a checker, she immediately phoned security, and they immediately put gaurds at the elevators, escalators, and doors. I was impressed. They were casually dressed with little phones on their ears.

Then I saw distraught Rachel, crying under her sunglasses that dad just bought her. Poor kid was scared and now does not stray. She was lost for ~ 5 minutes.

We do not lose our parenting license

[mamatoablessing]

I just want to give you a big

"Losing" my child, even if only for a brief moment, is one of the scariest feelings I've ever had.

We "lost" DD at DisneyWorld once, in the Honey I Shrunk The Kids park. It was terrifying. Longest 2 minutes of my life.

Don't beat yourself up...it happens to the best of us, no matter how diligent we are being.

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

OP, what you went through today is my absolute WORST NIGHTMARE, and you reacted the exact same way I would have. I wish I could give you a real hug right now. will a cyber hug do?

[4myfinn]

I teared up just reading it.

[Mountaingirl79]

Once I "lost" ds #2 in a grocery store for about 1 minute and I almost had a heart attack. He was a little ways away, behind something, looking at juice boxes that had caught his eye.

Once though, in Mexico of all places, my ex lost ds #2 in a clothes rack for probably about 3 minutes. ( This one scared ds as well. He doesn't stray anymore.) That is SOOO Stressful!!!

Now ds #2 is always always right beside us. Dont worry, it happens to all of us.

[StephandOwen]

I'm sorry that happened. The other posters are right- it happens to nearly every parent. My ds has autism and is a runner/wanderer so I've "lost" him more times than I care to admit One of the scariest is when I was living alone in an apartment with him (ground floor, door opens right to the outside). He was 2 at the time. We were asleep (he slept in my bed with me). I woke up randomly at almost 3 in the morning. In my sleepy daze I realized ds wasn't in bed with me. I looked on the floor (sometimes he fell off the bed and kept sleeping)... nothing. I started freaking out and went to the living room/kitchen area.... nope. As I turned to go back towards the bedrooms a sliver of light coming through the crack of the OPEN DOOR caught my eye. I ran outside screaming his name. He had made it down the sidewalk a little ways. Thank God for whatever woke me up. If I hadn't woke up at that moment I don't even want to think what would have happened Needless to say, the next day I went out and bought alarms for all our doors. We've since moved into a house and we still use the alarms on all the doors (ds is 6 now) because he still escapes at random times.

[GoestoShow]

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Edited by GoestoShow - 1/4/11 at 9:18am

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

Originally Posted by StephandOwen

Thank God for whatever woke me up. If I hadn't woke up at that moment I don't even want to think what would have happened

Not sure what your beliefs are, but I have always been a firm believer that in instances like this, there definetly ARE forces at work that make situations like this turn out ok. Something woke you up. it could have just been your mama instinct telling you your son was not in your bed. Or maybe it was that along with "something else".

[4JMJ]

I am so glad your DS is safe and sound! I think you handled that situation the way any mom would. It has got to be one of the worst feelings in the world, like the bottom of your universe just dropped out from under you. Like a PP said, we lost our 5 yo DS in Disney World, coming out of a show (I thought he was with DH and DH thought he was with me.) He was lost for about 1 min (seemed like hours!) and it was so terrifying I felt physically ill. All I could think of was that some child predator had snatched him (I hate to admit that, but that is right where my mind jumped.)
Hugs to you mama!

[Mamacitac]

It happens to the best of us!
I was once in a store, and I thought dh had ds (then 5) and he thought I had him..well let's just say a code adam was called about 5 mins after. We found him in a clothing rack, 10 feet from where we stood.
Buggers!! they can easily slip away from us..a lot of the times it's planned by them. LOL

[Qestia]

I lost DS at the zoo once, he went up an enclosed slide, I was chatting with my mom friends, and he never seemed to appear at the bottom. My mom friends got frantic, and went looking all over, I found out I am completely useless in this kind of situation and I was just totally frozen. Seriously, I couldn't do anything. It turned out he had wandered over to some video games about ten yards away without any of us noticing. I can't believe how useless I am in a crisis though. Now I just try to make sure he is within my sight at all times--harder now with two walkers though.

[InMediasRes]

Originally Posted by GoestoShow

As for the security officers trying to get you to calm down ---- having worked in a store and needing to help moms find a lost child or two ---- I can say it's usually to get a clear picture of what the child looks like, what the child is wearing, etc. in order to do a better search. It seems callous and totally the most inappropriate thing to say, but without knowing where the child was last seen and anything else, the search can be difficult. The "calm down" statements I used (long before I was a parent) were just to get the mother to speak clearly enough for me to have enough details to know how to proceed. Most of the time the kids were hiding in clothes racks or behind a make up counter that didn't have a representative working. Of course, it doesn't seem like these security officers were very helpful by just walking in a circle.

This was after I gave them a detailed description, including what every article of his clothing looked like, how tall he was, he color of his hair and eyes, and where I last saw him. These guys were utterly useless. My sister used to work at a department store at the same mall, and said that when there was a missing kid, mall security would just say "Code Adam" on their radio. They wouldn't give the description anyway. DH mentioned that they probably have frantic parents many times a day and that the kids are always found, so they are not as panicked as the parents are, but still... I thought it was pretty callous of them.

Bah. I'm feeling better today. Thanks for all the hugs, mamas. That was the scariest 5 minutes of my whole life. I have just been showering my little boy with kisses since it happened. I can't imagine what I would do if he was gone.

[GoestoShow]

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Edited by GoestoShow - 1/4/11 at 9:19am

[Mittsy]

: BTDT!! The same thing happened to me when Catharina was 1.5, and Pete was a newborn. That's why I steer clear of mall play areas that aren't in a enclosed area.

[calpurnia]

I remember when we lost my little brother, age 3, at IKEA. My mum was absolutely panicked. They put an announcement over the loudspeaker with his description, & when we found my brother later, he said a woman came up to him & said "are you lost?" & he said "no, I'm not lost", because he knew where he was! Fortunately she insisted that he didn't have his mummy even if he knew where he was & took him to security!

[Rowansmama]

That must have been SO frightening! It's indescribable how it feels when we think our kids are in danger. I remember last summer I had DD (then about 20 months) at the kiddie pool. She was just walking in the water, and I looked away for about 10 seconds, and when I looked back she had gone under. It felt like 20 minutes from the time it took me to get to her and pull her out, but it was probably only a few seconds. She was fine, but I still feel sick when I think about it.

Ugh, those little munchkins sure can cause a lot of worry, can't they?