Will this work? Updates 14 and 15

[KatWrangler]

I am so done with co-sleeping. I want my bed back. Problem is we are a family of five in two bedroom townhouse. DS and DD1 share a queen size bed in the other bedroom. DH, DD2 and I are in our bedroom.

Well I had a major cryfest tonight over alot of stuff going on. DH says we can put a bed in the bedroom with the other kids. I said no way. First we have to get rid of the glider, ottoman, child's table and wicker chair in order for a toddler bed to fit. Second, the other two will either keep DD2 awake or wake her up. He says "Well they will have to change their ways." DS and DD1 get up at 6:45 for DS to go to school. I do NOT want the baby up at that time.

Anyone put a 6 year old, 4 year old and 20 month old in the same room? Does it work?

[MujerMamaMismo]

Can you put your toddler in a toddler bed or on a mattress next to your bed? My ds in on the floor next to our bed and it's helping all of us sleep better. Some nights I end up squished and sleeping on the single mattress with ds but most nights I get a decent chunk in my bedwith dp too. Good luck.

[KatWrangler]

No room. We gave the kids the biggest bedroom. Hubby and I have the smallest of the two.

[KatWrangler]

The other option is I sleep downstairs on the couch. DH and DD2 sleep in our bed.

[Llyra]

As the mama in another family of five in a two-bedroom townhouse, I am very sympathetic. Right now I have all three kids in the big bedroom, and DH and I have the smaller, and we have an old crib mattress under our bed that we can pull out for the occasional cosleeping child.

Mine are similar ages, although we don't have a baby. DD1 is 5, and my twins will be three next week.

For the most part, they do all right in there all three together. I think they're closer for it, in a way, and most of the difficulties iron themselves out with a little patience. And DD2 seems to do fine-- she's one of these people who're gifted at sleeping anywhere and anytime, through any kind of noise. I've seen DS climb into her bed and sit on her, and she sleeps right on through it. I think it comes from having shared a womb and a room with DS her whole life. He's the original anti-sleep.

But it's hard, sometimes-- The little ones sometimes get up at night and keep DD1 up, but she has to get up for school. The little ones make up for it with a nap, but DD1 doesn't nap, and I think she's chronically overtired, because on the weekends she sleeps until like noon.

I can see clearly that we'd all be better off if my DDs had their own room, and DS had his own, or even if the twins shared and DD1 had her own, but I can't think how to make that happen. My only option, like yours, would be for me and DH to sleep downstairs in the living room, and I hate that idea for so many reasons.

I've tried going back to cosleeping full-time with DS and it was a disaster. With me there, he just doesn't sleep AT ALL. Which doesn't surprise me, because that's why I gave up cosleeping with him in the first place.

I hope you find a solution. We're thinking we're going to stick it out until the twins go to kindy, and then I'm going to look for a job, so that we have the money to move somewhere a big bigger.

[KatWrangler]

Right now I am P*ssed at the world. I hate the situation our family is in and see no way out in the near future. Which scares me terribly.

I would rather each kid had their own room. Or at least two girls in one and DS in a room by himself.

DS would sleep thru a heard of elephants running thru the room.
DD1 is a very light sleeper.
DD2 is a mix.

However, they ALL make too much noise when they get up. They have no volume control what so ever.

[HollyBearsMom]

My girfriend has 4 and they all share a room. The room is on the bigger side but not really big, the beds take up the majority of the room and the kids all share one dresser which is in the closet. They have a low bunk bed with the bottom bed being a queen and a twin bed. The oldest (6) sleeps on the top bunk, the twins (4) sleep in the queen. The youngest (3) still spends some part of night with mom and dad on occasion but always starts the night in the twin. Probably 5 out the 7 days she stays in her own bed all night.

No offense cause I know you are mad at the world right now but you husband is kind of right-they will have to change their ways if you want the baby out of your bed.

When the 3 year old moved out the parents bed about a year ago she had the same issues. The 6 year old was pretty good about being quiet but the twins?? Nightmare! giggling, waking up the baby, or worse if the youngest got up in the night and woke the twins they thought it was playtime.

It was about 2 months of sleepy parents, sleepy and cranky kids but she was consistent in her "rules" about quiet time in the AM, inside voices, etc, etc. However now, for the most part, it works.

So it can be done but it might take some time to for the whole family to adjust.

[KatWrangler]

I know what you are saying. But then I have to listen to my husband yelling and screaming at the kids to go to sleep and quiet down. It is NOT a pleasant experience. Putting the two oldest to bed is his job.

[joannamf]

What about one of those bunk beds that have a full on the bottom and a twin on top?

[HollyBearsMom]

Originally Posted by KatWrangler

I know what you are saying. But then I have to listen to my husband yelling and screaming at the kids to go to sleep and quiet down. It is NOT a pleasant experience. Putting the two oldest to bed is his job.

Sounds like he is the one who needs to change his way, Eh??

Sounds frustrating as all get out. Hope you find a resolution cause in I know in this house a tired mom = a grumpy mom which furthers results in a not-so-fun household!

[PoppyMama]

Have you tried making it book time instead of bedtime or maybe a storybook tape in a dimly lit room? I've found that that's easier to enforce without yelling and they weren't up all night listening to fairytales and looking at books. You could switch out the queen for bunks or even twin mattresses on the floor.

[smpayne]

BUNK BEDS!

There are a few options:
-2 stacked twin beds with a pull out trundle for the baby (The 4yr old and the 20 month should even be able to share a twin, especially with rails up)
-A twin on top with a full or queen on the bottom for the younger two.

or put the 2 twin bunk beds in the smaller bedroom and you and dh move into the bigger room with a toddler mattress on the floor (that can be pushed under your bed during the day) for baby.

[Maluhia]

I think it's a tradeoff - baby in bed with you or baby woken up more by older siblings until the three of them figure it out. If your husband's yelling bothers you can you talk to him about how yelling feels for you and possibly your kids, ideally in the day when you are not in the moment of stress?

[KatWrangler]

update

Hubby put the baby to bed with the two oldest last night. She slept there till 1am. Then she woke up and wanted boobie.

At least I got a couple of hours of peace last night. Normally she is wanting to nurse several times in the night to kicking me in the back and basically pushing me out of bed.

[KatWrangler]

Didn't work last night. As hubby and I were coming up the stairs to go to bed, she sits up in the bed with the other two and declares "Bed! Yeah Bed Time!" Hubby got her to lay back down for a little bit.

by 10pm she was in our bed for the night.

[KatWrangler]

I ended up sleeping on the couch downstairs last night. This isn't working.

[YouKnowMe]

Sorry Mama.

It will work after a little more time. It just has to.

[KatWrangler]

Last night worked! Its the first night in nearly 21 months that my husband and I actually slept by ourselves! The youngest slept all night in the bed with the other two!

I feel like a new person. I still have anxiety and I am depressed, but better than yesterday.

I still don't think this arrangement is going to work. We are going to have to figure something out in regards to the kids room. We have a twin bed (which is my son's) at my MILs in storage. The queen bed in the room right now is antique. I am NOT getting rid of it or putting it in storage. It was my husband's grandfathers. We need to take some measurements of the room.