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how old was your child when you let him or her take a bath without you in the room? - Page 2

post #21 of 115
Not until about 2 1/2 but that would be with me only in the bedroom right next to it and I had to have the door open and hear splashing around....I would never run downstairs or anything. Generally I grab a book and sit on the toilet while he plays.
post #22 of 115
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by bebebradford View Post
Way too young.. try to have everything ready and IN the bathroom before you put your child in.
This isn't an issue of un-preparedness. It is one of curiosity about when other moms are comfortable doing some multi-tasking while their children are bathing, and how those comfort levels progress with the age of the child.
post #23 of 115
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kuba'sMama View Post
Dh made that mistake tonight and had a "river" to clean. My daughter innocently said that "water over the edge of the tub makes a waterfall, did you know that daddy?" Well, he does now.
hahahahahahahahahahaha
post #24 of 115
I rarely post over here, mostly a lurker, but this I HAVE to say something about.

I don't care how small a house is, a baby or young toddler can drown SILENTLY in minutes. It's a fear that will never leave me because I have a friend who lost a daughter that way. She was 14 months old. My friend got the bath going and stepped out for LESS than 2 minutes. When she came back in, her daughter's face was in the water and she wasn't moving. They did CPR and called 911. Their house was relatively small and she wasn't far away, but they heard nothing. Most likely her daughter stood up, slipped, and smacked her head, but there's no way to know for sure.

My DD is 2.5 and DH and I do not leave her alone in the bath. The most we will do is step outside the door to grab a towel from the closet that's next to the bathroom.
post #25 of 115
I make dd start singing a song if I know I have to run and get a towel or something that way I know she is okay. Our house is TINY, so even if I went to the farthest room, I would be able to hear her. I don't leave her unless she cooperates and sings and only if I really need to get something. If she stops singing, I run.
post #26 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kailey's mom View Post
I make dd start singing a song if I know I have to run and get a towel or something that way I know she is okay. Our house is TINY, so even if I went to the farthest room, I would be able to hear her. I don't leave her unless she cooperates and sings and only if I really need to get something. If she stops singing, I run.
And not until older than the OP's child. I probably stayed all the time until age 4 and then was comfortable folding laundry or something right near by with checking every few minutes.

I figured bath time was a great time to clean the bathroom. Now that DS is older, my bathroom isn't nearly as clean as it was when I supervised all those baths!
post #27 of 115
When DS was about 3.5 I felt comfortable leaving the room while he bathed, but always within earshot. He was/is a very noisy bather He's 5 now and I still stay within earshot. If the noise stops I check on him immediately.
post #28 of 115
DD is three and in the past couple of months I have started leaving her to play in the bath while I am around the corner in her room (usually putting laundry away). Both doors stay open of course. She talks constantly, so as soon as I hear a lull in the chatter I call to her and she responds. Since she was about two, I have been comfortable going into another room to get something (book, drink, phone) and then coming right back into the bathroom.

OP - at your DD's age, I would be comfortable darting into the hallway or the adjacent room to grab a towel or something, but no farther. Maybe 10 seconds at most. You're definitely not being overprotective at this point by always being right there.
post #29 of 115
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mimie View Post
DD is three and in the past couple of months I have started leaving her to play in the bath while I am around the corner in her room (usually putting laundry away). Both doors stay open of course. She talks constantly, so as soon as I hear a lull in the chatter I call to her and she responds. Since she was about two, I have been comfortable going into another room to get something (book, drink, phone) and then coming right back into the bathroom.

OP - at your DD's age, I would be comfortable darting into the hallway or the adjacent room to grab a towel or something, but no farther. Maybe 10 seconds at most. You're definitely not being overprotective at this point by always being right there.

Thanks, mimie. You know, I don't think it had occurred to me that I might be being overprotective until last month when dd's paternal grandmother was here- she asked me if I had ever thought about letting dd take a bath by herself and when I thought she would be old enough to leave the room for a minute while she bathes. I said I felt she was too little to take a bath by herself, and that I hadn't really thought about when she would be old enough to be left for a minute. I asked Nana if she had ever left dd while bathing and she said no, that she wouldn't do something like that unless I told her I was comfortable with it. Then I thought about it and realized that my own mom lets my niece take a bath partly by herself, with my mom coming in and out of the room and staying close by, but not necessarily right next to my niece (who is two years and two months old).

I had forgotten about that conversation- I bet that it was in my subconscious the other day while I was contemplating this during dd's bath.
post #30 of 115
Between age 3 and 4. With the girls, we lived in a 2 story condo with the only bathroom upstairs. Everyone was upstairs when I gave baths. Joy and Erica bathed in the bathtube as I gave Angela a sponge bath at the bathroom sink. When she was done and dressed, I put her in the bassenette in our room and bathed the other 2. By the time Angela was old enough to join her sisters in the tub, Joy wanted to bathe alone. So Erica and Angela got their bath first; then Joy. With Joy, I was upstairs but not in the bathroom. She was close to age 7 then.

With Dylan, we lived in a singe story house with the bathroom just around the corner from the living room. When he was 3, close to age 4, I started letting him play in the tub alone before I came back in to wash him.
post #31 of 115
Way way way too young. Heck, my 13 month old tries to stand up in the tub and she's not very steady. If she tried that and I had walked away, I'd never be able to catch her before she fell. Drowning isn't the only danger--hitting her head on the faucet is another huge danger. Inhaling water and filling her lungs when she gasped is another danger...

Heck, I think it's a great bonding time. She has 2 older siblings so her bath time is the one time where I'm focused just on her, laughing and talking to her.

My rule is if you can't bathe yourself, you need an adult in there at all times. My 6 year old just started being able to do all parts of his bath independently (washing, rinsing, etc.) so only recently have we left him in there alone (if it was a shower, we leave him in there alone and have since he was a young 5...). We still keep the door open and I'll go in there and check on him every couple minutes.
post #32 of 115
Well I do think some of the decision is child personality dependent. For example, DS has always been ultra cautious. Just now at 7 years old will he stand up and get out of the tub on his own - but only if one of us is there beside him. He's always been that way, so I'd be more inclined to pop around the corner for a second when he was younger. A friend on the other hand had a DD that was just wild in the tub and from the time she could stand would try to stand up and jump in the tub. Last I heard at age 5 she was still the same way! So no way I'd ever consider leaving a child like that unattended until they were on showers only or hit puberty probably!

At 13 months I don't think I was comfortable leaving the room with either of my kids. By 18 months I'd pop across the hall to their bedroom or to the linen closet. I did time it though, and we're talking under 10 seconds, so even if something had happened it would be a pretty immediate reaction. When DS was 4 and DD was 2 we started letting them take baths semi-attended. Again, part of that is personality though. DS has always been so protective of dd that if anything had happened we'd definitely had heard about it (again never more than a 2-3 sec walk away, and we did check frequently). DD is one that sings and talks and babbles without.ever.stopping. With her it's always been easy - if she's talking she's a-ok! They stopped taking baths together at the start of last summer, at almost 5 and 6.5. At that point we let them stay in there "unattended". I put that in quotes because even though they weren't bathing together, inevitably the other one would be kneeling outside the tub interacting with them. Now at 5.5 and 7.5 it's just not something we feel the need to worry about too much thankfully. Though we do keep a closer watch on DD - she loves her waterfalls too!
post #33 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by spicyrock View Post
See, now you guys are making me feel a little guilty for asking! I've never left her alone even for five seconds before! I was just sitting in there the other day watching her play and wondered- could I run to the kitchen and grab a diet coke? Would she be okay if I folded the clothes just outside the bathroom door?
Heh. This is not the place to ask if you want non-alarmist answers to safety questions.

I think it also depends quite a bit on the individual child, but: for a child your daughter's age, I would probably feel comfortable, in your scenario, folding clothes right outside the door if I popped back in frequently and convinced her to keep up a conversation with me. I wouldn't feel comfortable being out of visual contact or hearing range for more than, I don't know... 15 seconds?
post #34 of 115
Well..... my 2 year old is happy to stay in the bath FOREVER playing with his toys and I just don't have the time to sit in the bathroom twiddling my thumbs for an hour every day. We have always lived in a one story setup; for example at my mom's house the bathroom is at the end of a short hallway, and the other end opens onto the living room/kitchen, with the bedrooms in between.

It's a pretty small house. So you can pretty much be anywhere in the house and still keep him in direct eyesight or close to it. Plus, he's pretty noisy since he likes to take his action figures in the tub and they seem to do a lot of fighting or something lol. So if it gets quiet and I'm in one of the bedrooms and can't see him directly, I will holler and he will holler back and we're good to go.

I do usually check on him every couple minutes in between throwing laundry in the wash, opening mail, laying out pajamas etc. but that is more because he gets water everywhere.

To directly answer the OP's question, I started leaving ds for VERY short periods (like to quickly turn off the stove or get his pajamas out) around 16 months, but I would not be comfortable leaving a 13 month old for more than the time it takes to grab a towel or a diaper or something. Ds was still pretty unsteady on his feet at 13 months and still liked to try to stand up in the tub.
post #35 of 115
My youngest is also 13 mo and my older daughter is almost 5. I stand outside the bathroom door with it wide open and fold laundry all the time. She is always bathing with her big sister who would be quick to signal me as well. On a rare occasion I will pop out of eyesight for a second or two but no longer. If she was alone I would not leave the room or the edge of the tub at all.
post #36 of 115
Quote:
Originally Posted by AllyRae View Post
My rule is if you can't bathe yourself, you need an adult in there at all times. My 6 year old just started being able to do all parts of his bath independently (washing, rinsing, etc.) so only recently have we left him in there alone (if it was a shower, we leave him in there alone and have since he was a young 5...). We still keep the door open and I'll go in there and check on him every couple minutes.
the bolded is pretty much my rule, too-- or will be when ds1 is ready to start bathing himself. in our house, bath-time is for bathing only, so while there may be a little time for one child to play while i'm actively washing and rinsing the other, once the washing and rinsing are done, everyone gets out. the idea of reading a book or folding laundry or cleaning the bathroom while the kids splash around in the tub is far, far out of my range of experience.

as far as ducking out to replace a towel or something like that, i've been comfortable doing that once each child reached about 18 months old and was very steady on his feet.

christina
post #37 of 115
I only just started going a few feet outside the bathroom to grab a towel when DS was around 3 3/4 yo. Just a couple of days ago (DS will be 4 yo next week,) I went to go grab a towel and DS decided to sit on the side of the tub and slipped over backwards hitting his head on the tile floor. He was OK after a quick snuggle, but it could have been much worse.
post #38 of 115
I do think it is somewhat personality dependent. For us, DS was still pretty unpredictable at 13 months--he might try some acrobatic move at any moment, so we were within arms reach of him at all times. Now, at 2.5, I like to keep him in my line of sight at all times, but I'm OK being just outside the room--today I was doing some cleaning on the floor in the room just outside the bathroom, but I could see him at all times. I will pop into the other room to grab a book or something, but really just for a few seconds at a time. I have a friend who lost her little sister to drowning at this age, and that drove home for me the speed at which those kinds of accidents can happen.
post #39 of 115
For me, it depends on the child - and how far you are leaving them.
By the time my son was two - I felt comfortable enough to leave him a bit. That wasn't me going downstairs or into the kitchen to cook tea, etc. That was me just outside the bathroom folding laundry or something.

Hes a cautious boy...'boistrous' isn't even in his vocabulary. He has never tried to stand up and/or get out of the bath and won't go near the taps because he thinks our bath is like the pool and that end is the 'deep' end (probably because when I do bathe with him, thats the end I sit in! lmao). He is also pretty noisy playing! So I use my common sense.

Now at four, I venture 2 yards away to the computer when he has his monthly bath - because though he says he never wants a bath whilst he is getting in the bath, he ends up staying in there for like an hour! Fine by me, but I am not sitting there for an hour and can clearly hear him playing - so I know he is fine!

At 13 months...for my DS...not sure. He wasn't walking yet then and only just started sitting up on his own at 10 months. If he reached his milestones in a bit more of an 'average' way - then perhaps I would be okay just being outside the door or grabbing something real quick like. I think for me, I started the quick pop out - but deff pop back in - around 16 months or so.
post #40 of 115
When Dd1 was around 2 and I needed to get or do something, I would leave her in there for a minute or two. I could always hear her. She is almost 3 now and I basically put her in and let her have fun. We also live in a small apartment with the bathroom in the middle so i can see/hear her from the living room and bedrooms. But I feel completely safe and confident leaving her in the tub. Even if I get flamed for it. Dd2 if only 4 months so its a tad early =).
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