Laying it all out here in hopes for some inspiraton to change (flaming welcome, maybe it will... - Page 3

[Kailey's mom]

Ok, so in about 5 minutes, this journey starts. I'm scared, but I'm sure this can be done. Tomorrow is going to be the day of truth. I already have some negitive pressure that I can't seem to avoid tomorrow. My grandmother *hx of being emotionally abuse, is also a smoker..ooohh, and did I mentioin, emotionally toxic* has guilted me into cleaning her house, because I *have* to stay busy tomorrow, her words. My mom said she would handle it, I have told everyone from the beginning, that this is my weekend to detox. Anyway I will go over and try to clean, but if my own mood is too unstable, than I will leave and let my mom handle the rest. I can't let this woman get to me. She already is, I'm sure she is going to add extra pressure since it's what she does. She knows tomorrow is a big day, and I'm sure she'll try to spoil it. I'm not going to let her Question: When do I put on the patch? in the am as soon as I wake, or before I go to bed. There are no freeking instructions on exactly when to put them on.. it only says to wear each one for 24 hrs?!?! My plan as of now is to put it on as soon as I wake up. If you pray, and you happen to think of me, please send a prayer my way that I stay strong tomorrow. Its so strange to imagine my life smoke free, although it's a good strange. No more stinking, no more bronchitis, no more high risk of cancer, no more being a social outcase *well not a visable one ) ok, I'm rambling.. I'll problably be looking at this post a LOT, looking at all the advice. Thanks so much for being a support system, really. I don't have much of one IRL.

[Theia]

Congratulations! So now it starts!

1. Grandmother - Stick to your guns. If she is getting to you, if she is trying to drag you down or otherwise be unsupportive of the changes you are making, DITCH HER. It sounds harsh. But unless her home is an absolute pig-sty that is unsafe for her to spend another day in, ditch her, and in good conscience. You need to feel comfortable devoting time to yourself because you deserve it! You said there is a history of abuse. So protect yourself and know that no matter the kind of abuse, when the victim quits acting like a victim the abuser generally tries to reel them back in. Let your Mom clean the house.

2. My guess is to start the patch whenever you would have your first smoke. If it's first thing in the morning, then go then. I don't know, it's just what I'd do.

3. Find something fun to do, or something that completely engages you to keep your mind off of what you are doing. Do you knit or crochet? Painting? Read? Walk in the park? Spend extra time reading to your DC when you aren't feeling stressed? IDK, just find ways to give yourself extra care these first days. And if you do slip and have a cig, it's not the end of the world or the end of your journey. What is most important is quitting. If it requires you to taper off to quit, then so be it. If you can do it cold turkey that is great too. There is no wrong way to quit as long as you are being honest with yourself and truly committed to quitting.

Best wishes to you. You can do this.

[Kailey's mom]

wow.. so this is how it is.. one minute at a time, literally. Very fuzzy headed. Its nuts what addiction will actually do. I know this has to be withdrawl, because it's not normal to feel like this. but, nope...not one cigarette, I haven't smoked!

[sarahn4639]

Keep going! You'll get there! The first 3 days are the worst, then it's mostly just the habit and not the addiction. I found that to be helpful for me when I quit 5 years ago. Know that there is a light at the end of this difficult tunnel and it is so worth all of the difficulty to get there. I agree to try to stay busy and avoid normal patterns that involve a cig. If you always smoke after lunch, try eating lunch in bed and have a book to read as soon as you're done. Anything to avoid that routine helps to not feel as much of a pull to go outside. I'll be thinking and praying for you to get through this journey as easily as possible. Try to focus on all the positive reason you are doing it and use lots of positive affirmations. Remember that our brains don't really get the negative so word everything in the positive. Example: Say "I love being smoke free" or "It feels so good to have fresh air in my lungs" Rather than "I won't smoke" Your body hears "I smoke" and it will fight you harder that way.

Best wishes!

[earthmama369]

You're doing it! I'm so happy for you!

[Kailey's mom]

Holy hell this sucks

On a good note, I still have NOT smoked I really feel like shit though, even getting the sweats, it's weird, i'll start wanting a cigarette real bad, and I'll keep pushing through the urge, cleaning, or reading...and then I break into a sweat. It's odd.

Ok, I just needed to vent.

[Theia]

You are doing great! Vent as much as you need. And like Sarah said, this is a short term thing, it won't always feel like this. Maybe you can think of it as like you got a cold and know that it's just going to be a few days before you feel yourself again.

[Kailey's mom]

Originally Posted by Theia

You are doing great! Vent as much as you need. And like Sarah said, this is a short term thing, it won't always feel like this. Maybe you can think of it as like you got a cold and know that it's just going to be a few days before you feel yourself again.

Ok, I'm going to grip tight to that advice. I can relate to having a cold... when the cravings get too bad, and I feel like giving in.. I'm going to go to bed!!!!! Thanks

[ps4624]

It does suck, but it only suck this badly for a short period of time, I promise! Make sure you use your patches, and keep busy! If you sit and think about it, it will drive you nuts! Go to places that you can't smoke - the mall, the movies, whatever - when you have really bad urges.

I'm totally rooting for you!

[Belia]

Just stumbled upon this thread tonight.... how are you doing?!?!?

You are my hero for taking this on. What an incredible example you are setting for your daughter! Maybe think of it like labor?!?!? Just get through the next 3 days.... NO, WAIT, YOU'RE DOWN TO 2 1/2 DAYS!!!!..... and from then on it's all in your head!

[Theia]

[Kailey's mom]

Thanks everyone. I doing better than I thought I'd be doing! I can't sleep, or let me rephase, well I'm not even tired yet. Hungry, yes LOL. I only had one big "meltdown" today where I was crying..but I felt better while crying. My mother is a smoker, and she is actually being quite supportive. I was even SHOCKED today that my grandmother that I posted about earlier was being supportive.

My meltdown was pure withdrawl, and my mom was in her room with the door shut. I heard her spray something. I KNEW what she was doing, and I went in there. I begged her for just one drag. Just one. She said "no" I'm not going to do this. I'm her to support you, now shut my door, it was shut for a reason. I started bawling, like a baby. I'm so glad she told me NO!!! Now all I have left to do is to go to sleep.

Today is my first day of being officially a non smoker

You guys are my number one support system. I have been on here almost all living day I can't thank you enough!!!!!!!!!!

[Theia]

Now that is really cool, the interaction you described between yourself and your Mother. I don't know what your relationship with her is normally like, but I am glad that it went down the way it did in that moment.

So celebrate and congratulate yourself on a job well done today. You know that if you really wanted to, you could have found a way to smoke. And you didn't. That is what counts.

[mouso]

I know how hard it is to quit smoking. It is so very difficult. I am 4 years off of cigs.

You are doing a great job! You CAN do this. You can.
You are doing this. Yay!

[proudmomof4]

We're all proud of you!

[Kailey's mom]

Day 2: Wow, so It was hard to get out of bed, since sleeping was pretty rough last night. Check this out, guess what I am drinking?? Water, plain water!!! I used to HATE water, but this morning I had my usual sitting in front of me, ya know, the diet coke and brownie, and NO, umm...NO. YUCK. My dh checked me for a fever, seriously LOL. I guess my taste buds are changing already? or this is still the withdrawl period, I can't get enough water. I'm so happy that water tastes good, it used to taste so yuck. I'm still not smoking, I can't believe it. There is no turning back. Of course I'll be on here a lot today I imagine =D Thanks again so much for all the encouragement, I need it, and it means a LOT

[Theia]

I'm far from an expert, but I suppose it is possible for taste buds to change quickly. And water is great for not only hydrating, but also for detoxing and helping to flush impurities from our systems. So keep listening to your body. It is telling you what you need right now.

I am so proud of you!!!! You are so strong!

[Jacqui]

i havent read all of the responses yet but wanted to chime in because i too used to have an awful soda addiction. What really helped me was to start with not allowing myself to keep soda at the house. If i was at a restaurant or went through a drive through i would let myself order a coke. this eliminated the endless supply available at instant disposal.

[sarahn4639]

Yay for water and being a non smoker!!!!!!

[Juvysen]

Wow! Just chiming in to say you're doing something AMAZING here!! For yourself and your daughter! Go mama go!