Hello, and a few questions about baby wearing

[GandEmama]

Hello everyone. I am new to MDC, but have read the hard copies of Mothering for a while now. I have five month old twin boys.

I am excited to get to communicate with other AP parents of twins! I don't know why I did not check this out before.

For the first few months I used to wear both babies in a dual twin sling, and it was great. However, they are now too heavy for me to do that every day. I have some fairly serious back problems that existed before the pregnancy, and now those problems are starting to catch up with me, and I know I have to be careful.

So I have been only wearing one baby at a time, switching them out, etc.

I want my boys to go with me as I go about my day, but with twins it seems so hard and chaotic to do this sometimes. I watch my singleton friends use baby wearing as a way to incorporate their babies into daily life. But with twins it's so different. As soon as I get one baby in the sling the other starts crying so I switch them out, but then the other baby is upset, etc, etc.

Anyway, I am sure I don't have to explain to you all the difficulties of this. Some days go better than others, and I am sure this is just all part of what it's like to have twins and try to incorporate some AP ideas. But I am wondering if there are ways I can make it better.

We have had a multitude of breastfeeding challenges
(we are still working on them, and I am pumping and NOT giving up hope that they may bf again!!), so I feel baby wearing is especially important as I know they need that one on one closeness with me.

I am just wondering how you incorporate wearing twins into your daily life?
What works for you?

TIA.

[cdahlgrd]

I wore 1 baby at a time, and the other would be at my feet causing mischief or crying, in the stroller or grocery cart, etc. You are at a tough time right now. They are suddenly aware that you can leave. . . and they can't keep up. They want to crawl, but probably aren't yet. They want to be with the people, but there aren't enough arms to hold them.

I spent a lot of time on the floor with them at this age. I also put them in high chairs with spoons, toys while I cooked. Or I just gave up and ate cheese and crackers until DH came home .

It will be SOOOOO much better soon. They are only little for a few weeks, and then they will be 1. A few more weeks and they will be 5 and starting Kindergarten.

Try not to compare to singleton moms. It just isn't the same. It is a whole different ball game with 2.

[teagan01]

I only wore one baby at a time and we went through a month or two when they knew the other baby was with me. I would wear one baby while sitting close to the other baby and slowly stand up and talk to the baby on the floor. I did this a while and I believe I built trust in the other baby. I swapped them regulalry. Now they are 8.5 months old and I still do wear them but they just LOVE to sit in their stroller and chat to each other! With multiples you can't really compare with singletons. I know it's hard, especially since I have a ton of friends who have kiddos the same age. I feel like I miss out or my babies miss out but now that they are a bit older it makes me feel so good that they have each other. My other friends are a bit jealous that my girls love to play together!

As far as BFing goes. My one daughter had open heart surgery and needed a feeding tube. I was BFing DD who was not hospitalized for the first couple months but found that I was spending so much time with her because she wanted to BF every 1.5 hrs that I didn't have much time with my other DD (she also had latch issues and I didn't have time to help her with all the exercises they game me). So I gave in to bottles for both of them. As I became a SAHM (quit my job after returning for 2 wks) I decided to try and BF them both when they were 4.5 months. After a couple weeks they were champs and I have been EBF both of them. DD who had latch issues seem to pick it up and I am so happy she got over that.

[GandEmama]

Thanks for the encouragement!

Originally Posted by teagan01

I only wore one baby at a time and we went t
As far as BFing goes. My one daughter had open heart surgery and needed a feeding tube. I was BFing DD who was not hospitalized for the first couple months but found that I was spending so much time with her because she wanted to BF every 1.5 hrs that I didn't have much time with my other DD (she also had latch issues and I didn't have time to help her with all the exercises they game me). So I gave in to bottles for both of them. As I became a SAHM (quit my job after returning for 2 wks) I decided to try and BF them both when they were 4.5 months. After a couple weeks they were champs and I have been EBF both of them. DD who had latch issues seem to pick it up and I am so happy she got over that.

That's so wonderful and gives me such hope! How did you do it?

[SuzyQ2+2]

From about 3 months until recently I would wear one on the front with a moby-type wrap and one on the back with a Becco (see a pic here at 3 months). Now, I couldn't do it for hours at a time, but it did get us through any rough patches where both babies were needing the attention (and I have cooked dinner like this). I even did a Salsa Babies class for 6 weeks like this (boy was THAT a workout!). It was actually pretty comfy having the weight evenly distributed back to front. My dh prefers his Baby Trekker on the front and a structured carrier (now that they are older) on the back...pic here.

Now that our babies are 1 (where did *that* year go??) we seem to split them up more often, with my dh wearing one and me the other...at this age they are pretty happy with him (sometimes even more than me, <gasp>). I agree that you shouldn't compare yourself with singleton mamas...cuz it's just NOT the same. period. Though I have to admit it is fun to wear them both in public...I'd wear them to our local farmers market and get lots of looks like holy cow that woman has TWO babies on her...SUPERHERO for sure

[teagan01]

Originally Posted by GandEmama

Thanks for the encouragement!



That's so wonderful and gives me such hope! How did you do it?

I told myself that I would not supplement with a bottle for at least two days and just keep trying and trying. I would help them by expressing the milk into their mouth to let them know that being at the breast was for food. I would help them over the next week here and there, mostly for the first couple minutes until let down. One DD would crease my nipple for the first week but then it was less and less. I just made sure my area was clean to avoid Mastitis (which I got when the girls were 4 months, from pumping!). Life is soooo much easier and I am very happy not to be pumping. Good luck and I hope it works for you.

One more thing. One DD would get frustrated so I tried to feed her a bit earlier so if she was frustrated I would stop and distract her, play with her for a bit. Then I would try again a few minutes later. I didn't want her to associate the breast with crying so that seemed to work well. Maybe try a necklace too, I know they make necklaces aimed at BFing mothers. I wish I tried that too.

[MamaChicken]

I never got the hang of wearing them both.

I did however spent a HUGE amount of timeon the couch or on the floor with both of them in my lap, on the boppy, on blankets right next to me...

I had a friend who was here with me a lot, and she would wear one while I wore the other, or DH would wear one while I wore the other when we went out.

[GandEmama]

Thanks for all the tips! Sometimes it just helps to hear other twin moms remind me not to compare to life with singletons. I know this, but sometimes I forget, you know?

This weekend I experimented with putting one of them in the Moby, which left my hands free to pick the other one up if he got upset. That seemed to work pretty well.

Teagon01--wow, that's so wonderful! I wish I could do that. Because they used to nurse, they know what the breast is for and they just don't want anything to do with it. I sometimes can get them to latch on for a moment, but that's about all. I tried not giving them the bottle before, but it totally backfired on me. Plus they have feeding issues with the bottle sometimes, so just getting them to eat in general can sometimes be hard. It's a long story as to why and how we have had so many problems, but the problems proceeded the bottle usage, and we have still to really get to the root of it all. So while I know they are now dependent on bottles, they did not become that way until after they started losing weight when I was EBF. Ideally I should have tried a lact-aid or SNS earlier on, but by the time I did try it their aversion issues were quite bad. Plus trying to use a SNS without anyone else there to help get in inserted and/or to watch the other baby was just too hard.
Within the first two weeks of their birth (before I ever began to supplement) I also had a few rounds of mastitis, tons of plugged ducts, we all had thrush a few times, they could not nurse without falling asleep--even at two months....the list goes on and on. I've never worked at something so hard in my life. Sorry to ramble on about it. It's been such a challenge and such a mystery as to why we can't make this work.

But your story gives me encouragement. I do know that as long as they will occasionally latch on there is always some degree (however tiny) of hope.
Thanks for sharing your story!!

[4Marmalade]

At that age I could wear one in an Ergo on my back and one in a mei tei on the front. I didn't do it very often because they do get quite heavy. At 19 months now we don't do much baby wearing as they are more into walking everywhere but if I do I put one in the Ergo on my back (usually the heavier one) and then I can carry the other in my arms. I found babywearing with twins so much harder than my singletons.

[at-home]

I love Ergos! We've rarely used a stroller, we used our Ergos instead. When we were out as a family, I'd wear one and my husband or teenage sons would wear the other. At home or while shopping I would have one daughter in an Ergo on my back (the heavier one) and would hold the other girl in my arms or on my hip with one arm. It was tiring but I could do a few things that way. Our twins are 3 now, so we don't use the Ergos much. But every once in a while when one of the girls is having a rough time (tired, not feeling well), she'll be very pleased to be carried close in the Ergo.