Need/want to work but terrified!

[Louisep]

Hi mamas,

I've been able to take a year off to stay home with ds but now feel ready to go back and we're pretty in need of the money. Ideally I'd go back pt to ease ds into it but there simply isn't any pt work out there in my field.

I need some encouragement and btdt stories. Ds is high needs and needs a lot of mama time in the sling still. He also needs cuddling to sleep for naps by me only. We cosleep so I'm guessing that helps to reconnect at night. He's a terrible sleeper too and right now I cope by having lie-ins every morning while dh takes him and napping with ds daily. So it's all going to be a huge change after a year of this routine.

Any advice or stories that might ease my worries?

What do you think the best daycare situation would be? In home or daycare?

Thanks

[Ellien C]

It will be alright. You might read through some older posts in this forum while you are waiting for responses.

First - there is no BEST daycare (nanny, in-home, center, family, split-shift) etc. This depends on the family and what fears, issues, expectations YOU bring to the table.

Second, kids really do figure out that things work different in different places. At my small center day care, all of the little cots came out after lunch and the kids took their shoes off, they laid down with their blankets, lights dimmed and the music went on and they either drifted off or looked at a book. To this day, my 7 year old still needs us to snuggle her to sleep because it is just different at home.

[Thalia the Muse]

Yep, babies are pretty resilient. If you aren't there every day for naps, he'll figure out the new routine. My daughter started an in-home daycare at 10 months, and she LOVED it -- the owner was very cuddly and grandmotherish, and she liked having other babies and toddlers to look at/play with. She napped fine there.

The only thing I'd worry about is getting enough sleep for YOU -- working while sleep-deprived, IME, was a gigantic drag.

[kdtmom2be]

There is also virtually NO PT work in my field either (organic chemist) but my kids/family were more important to me than career development. So, rather than find full time work in my field, I found part-time work in a different field. I am currently working as basically an admin assistant to one of my old bosses. He knew that I had other strengths (namely working in Excel and writing documents) and hired me on to do odd jobs for him where he is now. The pay is not AS good, but I get a more flexible day, can work part time, can work from home if/when I choose.

It may be difficult to get back into my field when I want to go back full time. I may not want to! I am also teaching part time (tutoring for math, chemistry and biochem) and that is really appealling. Is there something ELSE that you can do (you didn't say what your line of work is) that will afford you the option of working part time or from home? And, more importantly, is that something that you can make work? An important factor in me being able to do what I do is that I have an excellent daycare that will take my kids on a "drop-in" basis (and my DH watches the kids sometimes and MIL watches them sometimes).

[Louisep]

Originally Posted by kdtmom2be

Is there something ELSE that you can do (you didn't say what your line of work is) that will afford you the option of working part time or from home? And, more importantly, is that something that you can make work? An important factor in me being able to do what I do is that I have an excellent daycare that will take my kids on a "drop-in" basis (and my DH watches the kids sometimes and MIL watches them sometimes).

Hm, this is definitely something to think about. My hesitation would be that I had only just broken into my field (public health research) and a big absence would be hard to come back from. I'm definitely looking into all public health jobs, not just research related, but I think I will cast a wider net and see what I can find. I too could do anything admin related.

Thanks for the idea!

[Carita]

I understand completely. ((hugs))

Cosleeping was wonderful for us - and he nursed all night which some find tedious, but I knew it was his way of saying that he preferred it from the tap and was glad I was there at night.

Use your mama instincts when it comes to choosing a DC situation. There are a few threads on here you can search w/good ?s to ask, etc, but nothing is more important than meeting the providers, seeing how they interact w/the kids and using that sixth sense.

What's great about his age now is that he'll start making friends in DC too. My son went to a center and he made 2 BFF. seriously. They were as thick as theives. It was just awesome to see how much he enjoyed spending time playing with his peers, running and playing. That's something that at a SAHM I struggled with because most of the friends I had were not quite the same age and the dynamics just weren't there.

Just some thoughts to ease your mind