"Do you need to pee?" How often do you ask?

[sapphire_chan]

This felt more like a potty learning question than an EC question, so I thought I'd post it here.

With your potty learning toddlers, how often do you ask them if they need to pee besides times where they just look like they have to go?

[lovermont]

I only ask when he's doing the "potty dance" -- sometimes he then says "it's just a music dance"
I never ask otherwise, I don't think of it. To be fair he only pees about 3x's a day and has had an accident maybe once in the past year when we first arrived at ils after a long car ride and lots of toys to distract as soon as we arrived.

[waiting2bemommy]

After he drinks something if it's been awhile and he doesn't say he needs to go potty (usually because he's really into a toy or activity) I will gently interrupt him and tell him he needs to go potty and then he can come back to playing.

I also remind him every morning (when he usually poops) to go sit on the potty. Otherwise like half the time he won't think about it until it's, as he puts it, "falling out my butt" lol and then it's a mad race to the potty.

[sapphire_chan]

She knows when she needs to poop and will tell me, but she doesn't seem to know about pee unless I ask right when she's ready to pee. As in, I ask and she doesn't have to go, and 5 minutes later she pees on the floor because she didn't realize. But if she was only a minute from needing to pee on the floor (based on the volume of pee when she goes) and I ask she cheerfully leads the way to the bathroom.

[weliveintheforest]

I ask every couple of hours but it's pretty pointless because he never says yes. It's either his idea to go, or I just take him because I'm going or we are about to go somewhere.

[laohaire]

I think it's all about the kid. I rarely ask, only when we are leaving to go somewhere for a while. I don't even ask if we're just going on a quick errand.

A couple of times DD has wet her pants because she was just very into what she was doing, but only a couple of times. (I have a firsthand memory of doing the exact same thing when I was exactly her age... I knew I had to pee but was just not wanting to walk away from the toy, and was trying to hold out).

If she were a different kid I might frequently remind her, but for her, I prefer not to nag or worry about it, and it seems to work just fine.

[beadmama]

In the last few days DD has decided that she no longer needs to pee and holds it for 6 - 7 hours at a time. I know she needs to go but will not let me take her. I ask her every hour or so and she always says no. We just put her in panties a week or so ago so I think that is the new thing. She will pee when she gets in the bath at night or shower in the morning otherwise its a no go. She has only had one accident thus far. She potties at night often which is the opposite of how I want it.

I think it is a strive for independents on her part and I want to honor that but it is hard when I know she has got to go. I am going to try teaching her how to pull her pants down herself and see if that helps.

[JBaxter]

I never phrased it that way. I always just said... Potty time lets go. During early potty training I did it every hour -- hour 1/2 ish

[lonegirl]

Originally Posted by JBaxter

I never phrased it that way. I always just said... Potty time lets go. During early potty training I did it every hour -- hour 1/2 ish

I found if I asked he would say "no" so I just said I think it is time or a quick pee....and he did no problem.

[sunfish21]

My mother's advice to me if I was "actively" trying once DD showed interest was also every 30-60 minutes, like PP wrote.

[Rowansmama]

Originally Posted by JBaxter

I never phrased it that way. I always just said... Potty time lets go. During early potty training I did it every hour -- hour 1/2 ish

We're just starting potty learning now and this is what we do. Very occasionally she'll tell me she needs to go, but not often. Of course we're only a couple of weeks in, but this seems to be working right now. And even with going every hour and a half, some pee still ends up in the training pants. Good times, these are!

[sapphire_chan]

so it isn't that weird to ask quite frequently? Her timing is around 2 hours but very sporadic.

[JBaxter]

No. Children get into playing and dont always pay attention to their bodies q's about needing to go. WHen they realize they need to go they have 2 seconds till they pee/poop. Mine never liked to stop doing an activity to go pee so thats why I just announced potty time. They didnt have a choice to put it off for another 20 minutes .

[AllisonR]

I never asked. I mean even with the hand-grab - potty dance in full swing. Because even then, I was met with an immediate "No". For some reason they had to deny it. I think it was a control issue. They had to decide for themselves when they needed to pee or poo. So I let them decide, and left all the control to them.

FWIW, this method worked well imo. Both DS and DD were late potty-learners (3.5 and just over 3). But both were very quick. DS went from 50% accidents to maybe 5% accidents in only 2 weeks. After two months he never ever had an accident. DD was even faster - it's only a month later and she only has 1 accident a week.

[sapphire_chan]

Thanks for the perspectives everyone. I think I was wrong about this being a potty learning thing She isn't in the no reason nos phase yet

[Artichokie]

I don't ask. I tell her to sit on the potty if:
- it has been 2 hours since she went,
- we are about to leave the house,
-we are about to sit down to a meal, or
-she is about to go to sleep.

[ShyDaisi]

Never? I don't ask. Once he grasped the concept, he has just always told me when he needed to go.

[DeerMother]

Dd has only been wearing undies for a week, but we ask every 20-30 minutes. She's says no quite a bit, so we offer a supervised-only toy, coloring or books as incentive to try. Although just now she asked "what's wrong with my butt?" so we went to the bathroom and she peed. We've missed all but one poop the past week. . .

[Thalia]

I don't ask, because the answer is always no.

I just say, "I have to go to the bathroom, let's go together." Sometimes it takes a few tries to get her into the bathroom. I might have to remind her that we can read a story together on the potty. Once she's in there with me, she always eventually decides to go. Sometimes she wants to wait a few minutes, which is fine. I just don't want to try and force her to sit on the potty.

Most of the time DD goes about every two hours, but she also usually has to go immediately after a meal, no matter how recently she's gone to the potty.

[CanBoo]

We partly EC'd DD1 and still had to potty train. She's now a day time grad since the summer.
I had to stop asking, just because the answer was always NO here too. Even when I could see her doing the pee-pee dance...

So we shifted to very frequent reminders. "You'll tell me when you need to go, right?" Much more effective with her.