I don't get it...

[mamatobe08]

I hear people say all the time "My kid is potty trained!" These are "traditional" potty trainers--kids who start at 2 at the earliest. Then I say "Oh that's great!" and they say "Yeah, she stays dry all the time but asks for the diaper to poop."

Umm, I'm sorry--since when is poop NOT an important part of using the potty?! I just don't understand that line of thinking. I mean, I hear ya, it's GREAT that your kid pees in the potty all the time! But hello?! Isn't pooping part of potty training?

I just think it's funny because here is my DS, who's 15 months old, and he's the opposite. We almost always catch EVERY poop, but usually have 1 or more pee misses a day. But I don't think I'll say to anyone for a couple more months that he's "potty trained"--to me being PT'd is being dry AND clean.

Is this a thing that has always been around or is this a new line of thinking? I have heard it about 5 times this week alone and I'm just astounded by it!

[BlackSheepPDX]

I don't have a smilie to adequately express my "WTF?" at the idea that pooping in a diaper is a WIN!

[hrsmom]

Maybe because it's predictable and the kid asks for it? Rather than just pooping his/her pants? Not that I agree with the term "potty trained" for that! Hmmmm.........

[JMJ]

There's never been a standardized definition for being potty trained. They are probably using the definition that they can comfortably leave their kids in underwear and know that their kids will go pee and poop someplace other than the underwear... even if it is a diaper for the poop. Might as well rejoice with them that their kids are peeing in the potty and not point out that they diaper trained their kids so well that they are still unwilling to poop in the potty.

[InMediasRes]

This thread has made me so so very sad.

My DS has been pee trained for almost a year now. He has SPD and pooping makes him panic. I have heard so many people say that they think only kids who have been shamed do this. I have tried to make pottying as positive an experience as possible, but the feeling of needing to poop scares him and the only way to handle it is to have his routines. Yes, he was conventionally toilet learned, but I hate that I have been telling people for a year that he is "almost" potty trained. He is way way ahead of the curve, and saying that we're "almost" there makes it feel like we're not doing that great.

My DD is ECed, so I get this line of thinking, but until you struggle with this problem, please don't minimize the frustration involved.

[mamatobe08]

No no, I don't mean to minimize anything. I totally understand that many children are afraid to poop in the potty for whatever reason. I just think it's odd the way that being potty trained doesn't include pooping. I think it's GREAT to be 100% pee trained, heck, my DS is just about there! And I totally plan on celebrating it as that, especially with those "stages" of EC. But I just think it's weird that they say they are 100% trained, then after talking further they say "well, except pooping in their pants".

I didn't mean to offend anyone, and of course I wouldn't point it out to them that their kid isn't exactly 100% trained. I just didn't understand it so I thought I would turn to you mommas! This is my first child and I'm the first one in either family to have kids, so I haven't been around young ones since my little brother, and I don't remember those days when he was PTing. I know that there's never a definite point that everyone across the board will say "that is 100% trained", but I also never expected pooping in the pants would be considered part of that!

[tri31]

One of my nephews had issues like this. He was holding back, causing cronic constipation. Painful, and only natural that pain causes anxiety. Toddlers learn to deal with their emotions in their own way on their own time. In my nephews case, this issue was not really a potty issue.

[InMediasRes]

Oh, I know you didn't mean to offend me, it's just a hot-button issue for me. I want my son to be able to overcome his anxiety about this, and I hope to God I haven't caused it.

Carry on.

[zoebird]

i think that the reason kids ask for a diaper is because they have freedom of position which makes pooping easier.

honestly, most babies prefer to poop in the traditional (for humans) squatting position, or even in a standing/squat position. i know that DS does.

toilets in the west require sitting, which utilizes more muscle and requires more patience, discomfort, and mess actually, than squatting.

so i think that part of the reason why these kids ask for it is becuase pee pretty much comes no matter what your position, but poop is easier with a squat.

if we had squatting toilets, children would probably be more likely to use them.

usually when hawk signals to poop, i hold him over the toilet in a squatting position so it is easier for him. this has encouraged him to signal, rather than go next to the toilet in a squat!

[sapphire_chan]

So if the kid only does one form of elimination in a diaper, they're trained? Lina's potty-trained!

:


And frankly, if there are medical issues and you've been at that point for a year, call it whatever you want, you've earned it. If you think about it, knowing to ask for a diaper is a huge step.

But for the average kid who'll probably stop needing a diaper for pooping in a few months, parents can wait a smidge.