How can I guarantee my son won't be circ'd without our consent?

[KGB]

I've heard people say their sons were taken away shortly after birth and brought back circumcised unbeknownst to and against the will of the parents. I'm sure this doesn't happen often, but what are some things we can do to keep this from happening?

I know there's usually a consent form for a circ, but should we find something to sign stating that we do NOT consent that will offer us legal recourse if they choose to go against our wishes?

[Asiago]

Room in with baby, and have someone stay with you to alternate
sleeping times so that one of you always has your eye on the baby.
If baby must leave your room for some odd reason, have your partner or a family member accompany baby at all times to where ever he is going.

The only time our baby left my hospital room was for the hearing test, and my husband went along with him to the nursery. They returned together shortly thereafter.
The blood tests, PKU/metabolic and glucose test (since he was large) were all done in my room.

[Fellow Traveler]

Originally Posted by KGB

I've heard people say their sons were taken away shortly after birth and brought back circumcised unbeknownst to and against the will of the parents. I'm sure this doesn't happen often, but what are some things we can do to keep this from happening?

I know there's usually a consent form for a circ, but should we find something to sign stating that we do NOT consent that will offer us legal recourse if they choose to go against our wishes?

This is not as common as it might seem. I wouldn't get too worried but there are a number of things you can do to make sure your lucky son doesn't get get circumcised.

1. Inform your OB that you plan on leaving your son intact.
2. When you are admitted to the hospital, make sure your nurse and all the staff working with you know that you are leaving your son intact.
3. Carefully read all the paperwork that you sign, have your husband read it too.
4. If possible keep your son in your room the whole time you're in the hospital, rooming in.
5. If your son must be taken anywhere for anything insist that someone you trust goes with him, such as your husband.
6. Write No Circumcision on all forms related to your admission and any consents.
7. Put a large No Circumcision card in his bassinet.
8. Buy him a No Circumcision onesie, they have some good ones like: "If you circumcise me my Mom will sue you into utter destitution."

Somewhere there is probably a circumcision refusal form but I don't have a link to it. Hopefully someone else can provide it.

[gwen's mom]

One MDC mama shared that she printed off a card that said "If you circ me, my mama will sue you" and taped it to his hospital baby box.

[KGB]

I didn't know they made no-circ onesies! That's great! I love the creativity. Thanks guys.

[Fellow Traveler]

Originally Posted by KGB

I didn't know they made no-circ onesies! That's great! I love the creativity. Thanks guys.

Lots of links here:

http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?p=7512748

[an_aurora]

The "whisking away" right after birth is by the baby nurses; they won't touch it It's later during your stay, when your son gets carted off for the PKU or a bili check or "to give you some sleep" that you have to worry, because I've seen docs say "oh good, baby Jones is already here, I'll just do the snip now while parents sleep". A card on the basinett is a great idea--if I saw that I would take pics and hug that mama :

[lifeguard]

Dh & I had an agreement. No matter what happened to me he would be beside the baby at all times. Dh is assertive & no way would that baby be out of his sight.

[Night_Nurse]

Originally Posted by KGB

I've heard people say their sons were taken away shortly after birth and brought back circumcised unbeknownst to and against the will of the parents. I'm sure this doesn't happen often, but what are some things we can do to keep this from happening?

I know there's usually a consent form for a circ, but should we find something to sign stating that we do NOT consent that will offer us legal recourse if they choose to go against our wishes?

Well...I had my youngest child at home with a midwife so there was no way possible he could be circed without my actively seeking it out. So you could do a home birth if you are really worried.
If a homebirth isn't in your plans, just let your (or your partner's) doctor/nurse/midwives know that circumcision is not an option at all. Make sure the mother's OB knows (often the OB is the one who does the circ, not the pediatrician). Tell the L&D nurses during the admission history and/or put it in your birth plan if you have one. If you do have a birth plan, make a copy for both mom and baby's chart. Make sure the pediatrician knows, as well as the baby's newborn nursery nurse. To make sure the "no circumcision" message gets conveyed to each on-coming nursing shift, ask to speak to the nursery charge nurse or nurse manager. Tell her to make sure "no circ" is written on both the baby's chart and on the nurses report board.
I also agree with making a little sign for the baby bed and not letting the baby out of sight (or rooming in with baby). Read every consent form carefully as they do throw quite a few at you in a hurry and just say "sign this, initial this".
Most hospitals in the US are scared of lawsuits and most really do take the time to make sure they get consents signed before procedures. I think it is unlikely that your son would get circed w/o your permission but I think it's prudent to have all your bases covered. Better safe than sorry.

If you haven't already read about intact care, we have a sticky up at the top of the forum that is a great source of info. And please make sure nobody, including a doctor, ever tries to retract your son (that can lead to some problems).
Congratulations on your baby!

[Drummer's Wife]

Originally Posted by lifeguard

Dh & I had an agreement. No matter what happened to me he would be beside the baby at all times. Dh is assertive & no way would that baby be out of his sight.

This was pretty much our stance (though, TBH, I can't imagine hospitals circ'ing without proper consent). Even with 4 c-sections, DH, myself, or my mom was with the babies all the time. Most procedures can be done in the room if you ask.

I would make your wishes be known (including no circ, no eye drops, no bottles, no vit k, etc.) to your OB/MW, the nurses who admit you and any who have shifts during your stay.

[mntnmom]

Originally Posted by lifeguard

Dh & I had an agreement. No matter what happened to me he would be beside the baby at all times. Dh is assertive & no way would that baby be out of his sight.

Yep!, We did this too. We did it with DD too though. It just didn't seem right to let strangers cart off our child alone. So we know that they didn't get bottles or pacis, and there was no worry about our little man getting cut. If we were having this guy in the hospital though, I would get one or two of those onesies though!!
For us the best way to avoid the stress altogether has been having our babes at home.

[proudmomof4]

I think I've written that before on a similar thread: if homebirth is not an option for you, could you leave the hospital like after 2 to 3 hours and be taken care of at home by a midwife or postpartum doula? (I know that e. g. Germany and the Netherlands offer this "version".)
Like that, you'd be in the hospital for the actual birth but you'd have easier control over the baby procedures after he or she is born. (Obviously, this wouldn't work after a c-section.)
Note: I strongly advocate having a postpartum midwife or doula check on the new mother for at least 5 days on a daily basis and longer if needed or wished. (Read: please don't leave the hospital without some plan of postnatal care at home!)

[claddaghmom]

Actually, DH is circ'd b/c of the OP's fear. Although I don't know how common it is nowadays. (And that doesn't ignore MIL not really caring).



I think I would gravitate toward DH as protector, too, but then I worry about the potential for the staff to decide he is being aggressive or dangerous and have him removed/arrested. So I would want a backup.

[objet_trouve]

That settles it. When I get pregnant, I'm going to start making onesies that say "If you circumsize me, my mom will circumsize YOU!" I'm sure I can find an iron-on of a butcher knife. The doctor will be even more terrified of me.

[Fellow Traveler]

Originally Posted by objet_trouve

That settles it. When I get pregnant, I'm going to start making onesies that say "If you circumsize me, my mom will circumsize YOU!" I'm sure I can find an iron-on of a butcher knife. The doctor will be even more terrified of me.

I bet such a onesie is already available.

[feminist~mama]

Originally Posted by Night_Nurse

Make sure the mother's OB knows (often the OB is the one who does the circ, not the pediatrician).

Huh. I've never worked anywhere that the OB's did the circs. Honestly, OBs around here barely even glance at the baby, lol.

You've gotten great suggestions OP! I think a card in the bassinet, being vocal about "no circ", and sending someone with the baby if he leaves the room should cover it nicely!

[Drummer's Wife]

Originally Posted by feminist~mama

Huh. I've never worked anywhere that the OB's did the circs. Honestly, OBs around here barely even glance at the baby, lol.

It probably depends on the OB and/or hospital, but where I worked they were done by OB's. My OB did them but he did tell me he hated every minute of it and was glad we were not doing it.

[Fellow Traveler]

Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife

It probably depends on the OB and/or hospital, but where I worked they were done by OB's. My OB did them but he did tell me he hated every minute of it and was glad we were not doing it.

That attitude always puzzled me. If he/she hated doing them then they just should have stopped! It's so clear. Tell the parents I don't do them because there is no reason; perhaps that would get some of the parents to think a minute.

[Drummer's Wife]

Originally Posted by Fellow Traveler

That attitude always puzzled me. If he/she hated doing them then they just should have stopped! It's so clear. Tell the parents I don't do them because there is no reason; perhaps that would get some of the parents to think a minute.

I agree. He was such a nice guy, too, I'm honestly not sure what made him continue to circ if he hated it so much. He worked in a practice with another OB and a couple MW's... makes me wonder if he had to do them for some reason? You'd think all OB's could just refuse to do them, but I honestly don't know.

[Hannah32]

I think this will be a job for my hubby. He's the one who actually was anti-circ to begin with. I hadn't really ever thought about it. But, I've come to see his POV and why it's not needed and really is a rather mean thing to do to a helpless infant. I'm sure hubby will be pleased to make sure they know what we want.