Big Kid Hurts Little Kid

[cdmommie]

How do you deal with this?!?! I am at my limmit with DD1 (2 YO) laying on/pushing/poking/squishing DD2 (10 Months). Sometimes she is just trying to play but is too rough, occationally she just does it cause she thinks it's funny and sometimes (a lot of times) it is truly an accident. But no matter WHY it is happening, I just feel like screaming at her! I HATE yelling at her and I do my best not to, but good grief, how do I protect DD2 and get the point across that she is a baby? I can't just hold/wear her anymore because she wants down to play allllll the time.

[SeekingJoy]

This is such a hard stage when they are so close in age. It is also hard to remember that 2 is still so young. From your thread title, I initially assumed the "big kid" was much, much older. Strategies that worked for us beyond babywearing:
* letting the older sibling play with special "big kid" toys up on the bed
* using a baby gate or play yard to separate play areas (I have even put the older one in the play yard with "cool big kid toys"
* getting out of the house so they have plenty of room to do their own thing

I went through a similar stage where I constantly felt protective of DD against DS, which honestly only exacerbated the problem.

[bscal]

My younger 2 kids are 17 mos apart... so I have BTDT. You have to remind yourself that a 2 yr old little one does not really know how to play with other children anyways. 2 yr olds are very much in their own little world. They explore the world around them to see what happens (learning cause and effect) and much like a group of very small mad scientists they do the same thing over and over - for example poking the baby - to see if they get the same results every time.

Your job in this is to calmly handle this situation every single time in exactly the same way. You want the 'reaction' that she gets from poking the baby to be BORING to her so that she decides it's more fun to do something else. So, when she pokes the baby you take her hand and say no and give her something acceptable to poke - a pillow, doll or stuffed animal. If you react by making those upset/angry/frustrated faces and raising your voice that's pretty exciting for someone trying to figure out cause and effect. If you stay calm (think boring monotone) and don't freak out then it's not exciting to her.

I taught 2 yr olds for 10 years before having my own kids and this was how I handled behavior in my classroom.

HTH,
Beth

[cdmommie]

Thanks so much mamas! It is so hard to see my 2 year old as a baby still since I have an even smaller one, but I suppose I need to ease up on her a bit. Thanks for giving me some perspective!