well, to the OP. i just did this.
and yes, no matter what, i think this was the right decision. He and I just had no spark, we never really did. I love him, he is a great father and supporter of our family.
But I chose to part with him because I am a sexual being and it is really important for my spiritual, emotional, phsyical and mental health. And it wasn't just the sex or the attraction, but the lack of holistic connection. I haven't been with him for too long (3 years) but the thought of going any longer seemed crazy to me. I don't want to be one of those women who "stays together for the kids" and then freaks out as soon as they leave home.
And honestly, my ex and I have come to a coherent agreement where, instead of him helping pay for daycare, he will help support me (to the tune of what daycare would cost) so that I can still be a stay-at-home mom, because we both believe that is healthier for our child. and we are choosing to live in the same home, but in separate apartments within one building. We still have some family dinners together and are friends. I know one other couple who has worked this way and have for 10 years (their son is 13 now and a happy, well adjusted kid).
There are ways that you can keep a coherent family unit but not be together as sexual partners.
And yes, there is hurt and I feel sad that I have brought it to him, but honestly, life is short. if you feel a big part of you is not being satisfied, then find a way to change it, while still maintaining a good life for your family.
Family is important, but it is also important to know that family can be created in many ways and does not have to be "mom and dad sleep in the same bed and live with the kids". The most important thing is for you and your husband to be empowered and happy and most able to provide good, loving and healthy role models to your children. That aspect of it made me think a lot about my choice, because I thought "man, is my little girl going to grow up thinking that this is what marriage is?" because i don't think it needs to be, or should be.
anyways, much support to you momma.