I feel like my coping mechanism is worn out UPDATE post 9

[KatWrangler]

There is alot of "stuff" (bad news finanicially is part of it) going on in our life right now. I am depressed and anxious. I cry alot right now. I am extremely jumpy and short tempered with the kids. Noise is bothering me too.

Today hubby is taking the kids out to his Mom's to do laundry. So will be home by myself. Maybe its what I need to get my head together.

Or is it time for meds? I am not a happy person anymore. To be honest, I don't remember the last time I was truly happy and felt free. Hmmm maybe when we first got married. Uh, that was like 21 years ago. 10 years ago I was fairly happy. Life was good then.

[Satori]

you have a lot on your plate right now, it would be unusual if we were not feeling stressed out. That said I have a similar stressful life and I don't regret going on meds one bit. You can't be the pillar people need you to be when your at the end of the rope yourself. I don't get down time and I've started fitting in little things where I can. I love listening to music but my kids hate it most of the time, especially my older dd so I make good use of my ipod after there asleep and sometimes like right now. I say tough luck and turn up Toby Keith lol (they both hate country, will listen to opera or even heavy metal but HATE country) I'm waiting for the screaming to turn it off to start but just the few minutes of the music is already making me feel better and give me more energy. Its almost 2pm, I've had a headache since yesterday, no sleep last night and today I just want to hide under a rock and cry but for me the music is rapidly changing my mood and giving me the energy I need. Next I'm going to call a friend and about my issues just to get it off my chest because god knows I need an outlet and I always feel better after talking to him even if he's been about the drama in his life for an hour. Anyway point is, you need to find some kinda outlet for you other then your family since they are more or less the main stressor for you. Meds are an option too, I don't want to think where I'd be without them, I'm willing to bet its not where I am now... probably a few feet lower in elevation because I was past the breaking point with no hope of improvement due to our situation when I started them..

[Sileree]

Just a suggestion, take it or leave it: maybe talk therapy? There are also self-help books out there if that's not affordable.

[VisionaryMom]

Several people have suggested meds as a short-term solution for DH. He's recently become just completely worn out from living with my medical issues. I think people really under-estimate how much caring for a partner with a mental illness takes out of the caregiver. It's different in my ways, I think, from caring for someone with a physical illness.

I think if you need meds for a while, that's okay as a solution. I know DH has fought against it because he hates seeing what the meds have done to me re: long-term side effects.

For him, when he works out, he really starts to feel better about the situation. I'm sure it's partly the endorphins, but I think, too, that exercise gives him an outlet to get his mind completely off me, my sickness, the mess of our lives, etc. Maybe you could take up a hobby or just find a way to steal an evening a week to read a novel or veg out.

We're in the process right now of getting rid of tons of stuff we own. We're going minimalist on pretty much everything physical. It's already helping. There's less to keep up with, less to do, and that helps tremendously. We don't feel so overburdened.

On the money front in particular (though maybe this fits better in your other thread), have you looked at quick ways to make money - cleaning out garages or weekend babysitting, etc. Your husband may be able to commit better to something like that right now and begin to make some money. If he has any writing skills at all, PM me. I'd be happy to point him to a couple of places where he can work at his own pace and maybe help you guys stay afloat.

[KatWrangler]

I left a message for my Doctors office this morning. I am tired of the panic attacks and depression.

[Kailey's mom]

Originally Posted by KatWrangler

I left a message for my Doctors office this morning. I am tired of the panic attacks and depression.

Hugs! Panic attacks are the worst I hope the doc is able to help and you feel better soon.

[Satori]

Originally Posted by KatWrangler

I left a message for my Doctors office this morning. I am tired of the panic attacks and depression.

at least there is the hope of relief in sight

[KatWrangler]

Now finding the right med.

Crossing fingers this is for just a short period of time. But if it makes me a better Mom, wife and person I am all for it.

[KatWrangler]

Update

Doctor is sending in a script for Paxil. Said to take it at night.

[Satori]

Originally Posted by KatWrangler

Doctor is sending in a script for Paxil. Said to take it at night.

I hope you find some relief soon

[nolansmummy]

I just wanted to write and say that i hope you have good luck with the meds.
Paxil was what helped me with my anxiety and depression. It was so amazing how much different i felt. I also took it at night because it made me sleepy and a little sick at first.

[KatWrangler]

I took it last night. I know its going to take a while to kick in.

I didn't sleep as well last night as I did the night before. I kind of groggy this morning. Hmmm, bet thats the med. She said it would make me sleepy. I wonder if I should take it a little earlier in the evening. Last night I took it about 8.

[Satori]

Originally Posted by KatWrangler

I took it last night. I know its going to take a while to kick in.

I didn't sleep as well last night as I did the night before. I kind of groggy this morning. Hmmm, bet thats the med. She said it would make me sleepy. I wonder if I should take it a little earlier in the evening. Last night I took it about 8.

Everyone reacts differently to meds, it could make you feel a bit tired around the clock as you adjust to it.

[KatWrangler]

I feel like a slug today.