How good are my odds if I nightwean?

[kdaisy]

I am hoping someone has been there done that... I am thinking of nightweaning my son when he turns two this April. But I have gone back and forth on this because I am so afraid it will be unbearable and won't do any good anyway.

DS has always nursed all night long, waking up at least 5 or more times. (In fact, just recently, it has gotten "better" because he has mostly stopped demanding that we get up out of bed during the night.) He is obviously very attached to the boobs at night. But I am now 13 weeks pregnant and I can no longer fall asleep as he nurses back down. It is too painful, and he is back and forth, up and down, on me. If I say "no more" he is inconsolable, even if I get up with him.

I am committed to nursing him through this pregnancy and beyond because I believe that is what he needs. But I need sleep! And I am rationalizing that two years is enough of the 24 hour milk bar, and that I am not a bad mom to want to nightwean.

Knowing my son the way I do, though. I imagine nightweaning will be excruciatingly difficult, and I can picture him waking up every hour to ask for it for the next 6 months anyway!

Any thoughts for me? Would nightweaning help at all?

[heather1975]

I could have written your post, and in fact was lurking here and joined because I wanted to respond to you!!! I am not pregnant, but can totally relate to the all night nursing. My daughter is 29 months and has NEVER slept. I can remember 2 times she slept 4 hours straight and I thought is was a miracle! My husband and I can't go out on dates unless we are home by her bedtime so I can nurse her to sleep. We can't go out after she is asleep because she was looking for my boob an hour later!

I never slept well even when she did because not only would she nurse on one, but she would 'twiddle' the other with her fingernails. I was so aggravated I turned to the internet for help. I had tried the No Cry Sleep Solution. Forget It. I read about Dr. Jay Gordon, and thought 'Yeah right, this guy doesn't know *MY* kid. She won't just be weaned at night after less than a week. I was reluctant to try.

Finally, I thought what have I got to lose? If it is really bad, I'll stop and try in a few weeks, months, maybe she'll nurse until she is college

The first night I nursed her to sleep and told her that the 'boobs' as she lovingly calls them were going to go 'night night' too. She could have them when the sun came out and they would be happy to see her and they would be well rested, lol She woke up looking for them an hour or so later and was peeved to say the least when I didn't give in. I had worn a sweatshirt to bed so she could see they 'had covers on'. I told her she could say goodnight to them again, let her nurse for a minute, and she held them. She stayed awake from 11:30-4AM fussing on and off....I thought this is for the birds, then she fell asleep. The next night, same thing and she was up from 1-3....again, I thought well this stinks, at least before with the nursing she was sleeping. I wanted to give in but that would have meant a waste of my time the night before. The third night she slept!!! 10 hours! She briefly woke with eyes closed, reached over and touched 'them' and fell back asleep. The next night, she woke again from 2-4....I had gotten my hopes up. I was so bummed, thinking we had turned a corner. But, I didn't give in. I wasn't awake that long to have it be for nothing the previous nights. I stuck to my guns, she didn't even cry. Now you don't know my stubborn high spirited peanut, this was miraculous.
The past two nights she has slept for TWELVE hours. Of course, I haven't. I am waking up like she trained me, every 1 to 2 hours laying there in fear of hearing that child waking up...but she doesn't. I am not going to lie, I am nervous right now while she lays there peacefully that it isn't going to last. But I think she has finally learned to self soothe. I feel like I am not out of prison (awful I know, but after almost 3 years..as much as I loooove her..) but I am getting passes to get out slowly but surely I still nurse her to sleep, that part I don't mind and one thing at a time. We also co-sleep which I don't want to give up. She is our little miracle, having lost 2 before her and going into labor with her at 23 weeks....so having her next to me for as long as she wants me is fine. But I have my boobs back at night! Sorry for the looong post, but I want to give you hope. Because, I thought for sure it would work for everybody BUT my Elizabeth

[MommyDOK]

yes it might work!!

IT did for me. I nightweaned my firt dd at 15 months w/out a hitch. She slept w/ dh and I went in the other room...worked so easily and she barely even fussed.

Now, for my second dd, we started trying at 15 months and no go. She cried and really was upset. I did everything in the nocry sleep solution I tried again at 18 months..no go. Tried again at 20. No go..finally at 24 months it worked. I consulted w/ an ap therapist and he encouraged me to do little things like say to her, "We won't always nursey at night." Kind of preparing her bc at that age, she could understand. After I nightweaned her, she was a dr. sears dream sleeper. But, I have heard of other children that still wake up.

Congrats on your pregnancy. It is hard to nurse while pregnant..for me anyways, it was. Hang in there. I applaud your commitment

[KaiKunkel]

Thank you so much for posting this! I am in the same boat with my 22month old daughter. And every time I read about night weaning I think - "you've never heard my girl scream".

[sarahz5]

We nightweaned at around 15 months and it worked great, as long as we were committed to some form of co-sleeping. We tried to cut out the co-sleeping at almost 2 and he is now waking up 4-6 times a night again. I would say that if you have everything else the way you want it, nightweaning should do the trick! Good luck.

[nelson]

Originally Posted by KaiKunkel

Thank you so much for posting this! I am in the same boat with my 22month old daughter. And every time I read about night weaning I think - "you've never heard my girl scream".

exactly. I keep holding out for all ds's teeth to come in and then I'm going for it!

[Shanny2032]

I was looking for similar answers, dd is only 14 months but it is starting to get to me. I will definitely wait until she is a little older and can hopefully understand that the milkies need to go night night. Just. soooo. tired.

[kdaisy]

Thank you all SO much for your replies! They mean so much to me!

I am fairly inspired now that maybe it could work. DH has said he is in support of it as well. (This is the man who thinks denying DS any breastmilk is criminal.) So that will help when my patience breaks at 3 am.

I think that is a good idea about talking about nightweaning ahead of time with DS. He is to the point where he can understand that I think. We can take the next two months to prepare him (and me!) and look into strategies more.

Thanks for the well wishes!