Six year old behavior question

[deesmomma]

I'm sure this is normal/fine/whatever, but I'm just so sad/frustrated about it, I just need someone to talk at. kwim?

All of a sudden my six year old doesn't want to do anything with me. She plays the computer too much, so she'll get mad at me (really just a huff or "aw man") and go back to her room and stay there. She does want to sit with me or read with me. If I start singing a song she's singing, she stops.

The other night I said, excitedly, "Who wants to have a family movie night!" She said, "Not me," and left, like she was sulking. I told her we were having family movie night and she sat down, but sulked half the movie. All I keep thinking is she's SIX NOT SIXTEEN.

All I did just now was ask her if she wanted to watch Glee with me (its her FAVORITE show, usually when she's in her room she's singing at the top of her lungs) and she actually ran back to her room and barricaded the door so I couldn't get in. Wth? Its so hard not to take this personally.

edit: I actually meant to post this Parenting, and I cant' for the life of me figure out how to delete an entry, so delete at will, oh great mods.

[momo7]

I would be curious if she is hanging out with any new friends, especially ones with bad attitudes about their parents. I noticed this with a couple of my children over the years. One friend in particular i noticed when my daughter would spend time with her she would come back home with the worst attitude problem. Just completely different, rude actions. As long as she didn't have contact with this child she was the best, sweetest child. I seriously had to limit contact with her. Now that they are older it isn't nearly so bad as it once was when they are smaller.

Recently my son has come back from several boyscout camp outs just ready to argue and complain about any little thing. It's very hard to deal with when he is one way 24-7 and then a complete ugly after he has been around other children his own age.

I don't know what to tell you, this may not be the case with you, but it was something I noticed in my own children so it's worth a look.

Off topic.....your from Crestview Florida right? I think we are neighbors in a way...I am from Panama City. I am coming home in a few days so tell me how the weather is there.

[deesmomma]

Nope, no new friends. We homeschool and we don't have any friends with children, and the homeschool group in this area is pretty non-existant, so the only kids she really gets to interact with is cousins on weekends and she goes to sunday school with grandma. So *shrug*

Btw, its cold!! At the moment...lol

[octobermom]

I remeber starting to do that around that age. For me it was simpily I was an extreme introvert with a very extroverted mom. I felt smoothered and wile I loved my mom and had NO ill feelings toward her I jsut could never get in a thought or a breath the way MY body and mind needed it so I reacted by blocking her out. Sadly at that age I couldn't communcate this need.

Deanna

[beanma]

I have a 6 yr old and an almost 9 yr old. If my kids act like that — and they sometimes do, I think it's developmentally appropriate— I explain that what they're doing/saying is rude.

If they'd rather not play right now or they'd rather that I didn't sing they can ask that in a nice way. You can still get a strong message across in a polite way. I don't try to make them do what I have suggested, but I let them know that if they don't want to do family movie night they are welcome to let me know in a kind way. "Mama, I'm really not in the mood for movie night tonight. I think I'll do something different," is much nicer than "UGH!!! do I HAAAAAAAVE to???", but they both get the message across that the kid wants to do something else.

My response to the kind way of letting me know is something along the lines of, "OK. If you change your mind, we'd love to have you. I'll save you a spot on the couch." My response to the not kind way (whiny, pouty, sulky) is usually not so nice. When I have it together I ask them to rephrase and let them know that the way they are acting hurts my feelings. They can get the same message across w/o being rude. It's basically the same message as saying please. If a kid demands, "Gimme that RIGHT NOW!" instead of asking nicely we redirect and remind them to ask politely.

For the blanket thing, I'd totally call her on it and tell her if she wants to be in the main/public part of the house (living room) she needs to be present. If she wants some time alone she's welcome to go to her room. Again I'd try to lt her know that I would love to hang out with her when she's in the mood.

You might also try letting your dd lead and suggest activities.

hth

[hipumpkins]

that sounds very difficult. I am not sure if you were looking for any advice but i was thinking maybe the computer could "break" for a couple days and maybe see if you can get her back in to enjoying her family time.
I read in a book about something called, "peer orientation" I'm not sure what book but it had stories about kids pulling away from their families like that and it said that it really "normal" but can be typical. I remember the book saying something like not to ignore it.Try to get the child back in.
In one story a dad took his very reluctant teen on a forced fishing trip and that really helped the relationship in the end...although at first the teen was beyond miserable.
Good luck!

[meemee]

6 year olds go thru a hard time. if this has come on suddenly and wasnt really there so much before.... then i would ignore it.

i dont know how but try not to take this personally.

that's why this age for me is bittersweet. dd is 7 and yes while we are v. close she wants time on her own. as she grows i find my parenting is changing drastically. some of the things we did before are now too kiddish.

on your hard days ask her kindly to be gentle vocally - but usually as pp said she probably just doesnt know how to express what's going inside her and so uses body language.

when seh is done she will come out of it. my dd went thru this at 6 too and i just had to let her be because she was sooooo emotional it was illogical.

[One_Girl]

Originally Posted by deesmomma

Nope, no new friends. We homeschool and we don't have any friends with children, and the homeschool group in this area is pretty non-existant, so the only kids she really gets to interact with is cousins on weekends and she goes to sunday school with grandma. So *shrug*

Btw, its cold!! At the moment...lol

She may want more independence from you. It sounds like she is with you all the time and has been for a long time. I remember being tired of my mom sometimes and since I have started homeschooling my dd has been telling me she wants space from me sometimes. Do you have a YMCA in your area? If so you might consider checking into some of the activities they have for kids. The one in our area has a homeschool PE class and a Youth Activity Center as well as many other wonderful kids classes. It is making homeschooling work for me and my daughter. They also offer financial assistance to make it affordable.