Well, my dad is an aspie, so a lot of it is a non-issue for me, since i'm so so used to autistic behaviours. I tend to take him at face value because that's always what he's worth. When he asks "are you ok" be it for the 50th time, it's because he loves me and he wants to know that i'm ok. So i answer, sometimes i tease "what do you think?" with a smile if he asks me in an intimate situation! When he says "have you done the dishes?" or "do i have a shirt for tomorrow?" i remember that he is asking if the dishes are done or if his shirts are ironed and NOT implying anything about ME and my dish-washing/shirt-ironing capabilities. When it comes to over-loading him, i've only done it twice and i already know him well enough to avoid doing it any more (it's been about 9months since it last happened due to something i said, we've been living together for 13months, were dating for 2.5years before that). I can now see when it's happening. His eyes get distant, his body tenses up and he gets a look of clouded concentration on his face. If i keep on at him then he will snap at me (albeit very gently, but we NEVER snap at one another). So when i see that i stay physically close and back right off/be quiet until he recovers (a few minutes usually, an hour at most).
I think because my dad is an aspie and i have a few traits myself (i'm further along the spectrum than the majority, but probably not quite dx, or dx of mild aspergers maybe) i really can understand most of what goes on. His train of thought is very direct and linear and he is very honest (some might say brutally so, but i understand that his acceptance that i, for example, NEVER stop talking, is nothing like a criticism, and he loves me so to him it's a valuable feature, even if it's one other people might criticise) which means he never tries to hurt me, is always logical in his actions (sometimes his logic defies my logic, but it's at least easy for me to work out now i know him
) and with a little help on picking a direction can get most things sorted out. His main issue is that he spends so much time worrying about certain things (usually workplace interactions - he recently moved more into project/people management which is a bit of a minefield for him, though he's REALLY busting his butt giving it a go) he ends up having to say/do things in a rush which makes him even more stressed! He's getting there though, and we're a great team. Whenever i need a solid place to be it's with him, and whenever he needs a bit of courage i have it. It's working great so far
). My DH also gets anxious about conversations -- how do you guys get through things? Do you just recognize cues and work around things?
wow, definitely talk to the director. That's innappropriate.
