BFing sucesses the second time around?

[AmyKT]

I'd love to hear from mamas who had bfing trouble with a first baby but successfully bfed later babes. I quit with my first at one month, and I grieved it for a long time. Looking back, I can see a multitude of contributing factors. There was little educational support in the hospital where I birthed, DD's latch was incorrect but not diagnosed until I saw an LC at 10 days; bad latch caused excruciating nipple pain and bleeding, as well as lowered supply; DD was colicky and never seemed satisfied; I had no bfing role models in my family (though they tried to be as supportive as they knew how); and I was just generally unprepared for motherhood. I ended up EPing the last few weeks along with supplementing a lot, so someone else was usually feeding DD while I pumped. I hated that, and it still hurt and I wasn't getting much.

I'm not saying I was justified in quitting, but this is how I got to that place. I really want to make it work this time, though I am worried it will be even harder with an older child to care for, too. If anyone has made it work the second ( or third or fourth) time, I'd love to hear what made the difference.

[new2texas]

Well, I had a couple of epic failures breastfeeding my first 2. With my first daughter she cried non-stop for the first 6 weeks. I was EBF and thought a lot of things were wrong (gassy, colic) but really she was just hungry. Once she got a bottle she was a different baby. I had supply issues for sure, and even though I thought I knew quite a bit I really didn't. ("What to Expect your First Year" is NOT a breastfeeding manual!) I was lacking knowledge, resources and support and ended up starting to supplement at 6 weeks and was completely done breastfeeding at 3 months. It was very disappointing as BF is something I really believed in and so I felt like a total failure. At the same time it was a relief because she had been so miserable and never slept and I was a zombie from getting no sleep.

With my second baby things started out great, she was super happy, slept all the time and I thought "great!" However she stopped gaining weight at 2 months and didn't gain an ounce between 2 and 5 months. Obviously supply issues again. I think that time I could have turned it around if I knew then everything I know now.

Just had my third baby and things are going very well. She was 13 pounds at 8 weeks, up from 9-11 at birth. The difference this time is I have a wealth of knowledge about breastfeeding, I really did my homework. I feed her non-stop around the clock, maybe too much but I'm so paranoid about supply. So I think that makes the difference and maybe my body has just finally figured out what to do and is doing it's job. I do think with baby #2 I could have upped my supply, like I said she loved her sleep and so would go 4 to 6 hours between feedings even as a newborn. I think that was the major factor. I also know now about different options-fenugreek, etc.-if my supply does start to diminish.

Also I had intervention filled hospital births with epidurals for 1 and 2 and number 3 was a totally natural homebirth. Maybe that is also a factor. I don't know for sure.

Hope that is somewhat helpful and encouraging.

[AmyKT]

Thank you It does really help to hear encouraging stories. I think my tactic this time is going to be learning everything I can beforehand and having a really good LC come see me as soon as possible and as often as possible.

I have heard that epidurals and other interventions can impede breastfeeding efforts. I was lucky enough to have an intervention-free hospital birth, and it seemed like things were starting off okay, but then they went down hill fast.

Thanks again, and I'm glad everything is going well with your new baby.

[Rivka5]

I am the person for you. Because I stopped nursing my first at 6 weeks (continued to pump for 4 months, but low production) due to a ton of problems, including a severely weak suck and antibiotic-resistant mastitis. My baby was still 5oz below her birth weight at one month old, which was when I decided to supplement with formula.

One week from today, I will have successfully nursed my second for ONE YEAR. He never had the slightest problem nursing. He was an active and vigorous nursing partner from the beginning, really determined, with a strong suck. He gained weight beautifully from the start.

One thing you don't necessarily realize when you are having nursing problems is how much successful nursing depends on the *baby,* not just on you. Nursing a different baby can just be a whole different world.

Good luck to you!

[lindsey8]

I gave up after a few weeks with my first - I have inverted nipples and he was severly jaundiced, add to that a sucky lacation consulatant, and it was just miserable. I had mastitis twice in the first week... I was crying all the time and and some point it wasn't worth it - he was miserable, I was miserable, DH was miserable, you know?

The 2nd time I still had inverted nipples, but he was way stronger and after a few weeks of pumping/bottle feeding EBM, trying him with nipple shields, trying him on bare nipple he was a champ - still is at 25 months!

hang in there mama!!!

[claudi81]

Oh Girl,

you will breastfeed your next no problem, I promise you!! All you have to do is feed the baby as much as he wants and when he wants it, have a lactation consulatant check with the very first days at the hospital if they offer that. They can check with you and assit you when help is needed and give you confidence when all is going well.

everything you explained is exactly how it was with my first child, she was born a bit early and they assumed because my breasts were firm and my nipples not very long that I need a breastshield bad Idea, for me anyways, because of my c-section they took her out during nights etc. which was not good either. In the beginning you should breastfeed as much as possible because the breast is softer before the milk kicks in that way you both can learn and train on a softer breast and the engorgement will not be too problematic. Because this was my problem with the first child I was sooo engoreged she did not breastfeed enough, so my milk was plugged and I had to pump and she got the bottle..... before you know it it is a never ending cylce which finally caused me to give up.

So to encourage you, I had my son 2 months ago, and all we did is stayed together and I breastfed him as much as he wanted and as long as he wanted day and esp. at night they go into a feeding frenzy the first few days to boost the suply. Which caused my milk to kick in on 2 days after birth, I am not kidding (not even). I had a full supply and the engorgement started to kick in too but since we were a trained team he latched on that hard breast. I did make sure to wake him if he slpet to long and I sometimes pumped a bit to get some relieve, but just a little not to feed him the bottle though. I never gave him anything else but my breast that is all. Also I used the soft shells from medela that helped my with the engorgement as some of the milk drizzeled into the shell and my nipples kept sticking out which helped him to latch on. Remember only breast and if you have to pump only a bit to soften and relieve the pressure, otherwise you have engorgement all the time as your body rebuilds the supply you pumped out and you baby needs only what it drinks from the breast.

I can only tell you that I know how you feel, cause I had the same fears two months ago and now we a the perfect breastfeeding team.

PS: It may sound freaky, but I felt so bad about not bf my dd long enough and felt like a failure, that I feel like I make it up a bit by giving her chocolate milk with my milk instead of cowsmilk, which is much better and she loves it

You can do it!!!!

[AmyKT]

Originally Posted by Rivka5

One thing you don't necessarily realize when you are having nursing problems is how much successful nursing depends on the *baby,* not just on you. Nursing a different baby can just be a whole different world.

Good luck to you!

I have heard that a lot. I feel guilty blaming DD at all for our problems, but yeah, I hope the next one is easier right from the start.

Originally Posted by lindsey8

I was crying all the time and and some point it wasn't worth it - he was miserable, I was miserable, DH was miserable, you know?

YES! I do know! My DH was so relieved when I decided to hang it up, because I was a total disaster of a person.

Originally Posted by claudi81

PS: It may sound freaky, but I felt so bad about not bf my dd long enough and felt like a failure, that I feel like I make it up a bit by giving her chocolate milk with my milk instead of cowsmilk, which is much better and she loves it

That doesn't sound freaky at all. I like that idea. I may start DD on chocolate milk just so I can sneak my milk into her.


Thank you all for the encouragement . I know I can do it this time!

[honey-lilac]

I had Epic Fail with DS. I planned on nursing but he would.not.nurse after he was traumatized by an LC. As soon as he saw the nipple he would freak out, arch his back and scream. He never suckled. I tried to keep going with him but had to end up bottle feeding him as he was just losing so much weight and clearly not planning on nursing - my milk barely even came in despite pumping round the clock. It was literally like 1/4 oz produced from both breasts combined for a whole day. Yeah, not cutting it.

DD on the other hand never had a bottle and nursed like a champ from day one. She was put to the breast immediately after birth, I fended off any LC's who tried to "help" us and we nursed for quite a while, when she stopped on her own accord at about 18 months (I know that's early but believe me when I say it was her own decision, and not a nursing strike etc.)

So, I consider that a total success. I wish you much luck.

[busymama77]

I'm going to lurk here for a bit as I had trouble with my first - supply issues for me, DS was a perfect nurser, latched on, everything - I just couldn't keep up and was totally uneducated.

Now, I'm feeling a bit more prepared for the 2nd baby, a little more educated, so I'm hoping things go a bit smoother this time around.

[Gimme Pineapple]

Originally Posted by new2texas

Also I had intervention filled hospital births with epidurals for 1 and 2 and number 3 was a totally natural homebirth. Maybe that is also a factor. I don't know for sure.

OP- Just want to encourage you-I had a hospital birth with every possible intervention imaginable. I had an unplanned c-section and didn't even hold my child until 6 hours after the surgery. We have had every problem imaginable (thrush, clogged breasts, bad latch), but we worked through it and are doing awesome! He was 9 12 at birth and is 13+ six weeks later! So if that happens for you, there is still hope.