Can you help me figure out how to fit it in?

[boysmom2]

I really want to work out regularly. I used to run/walk in the AM before anyone else was up. But, now that we have a new baby (not that new - he's 8mo already!) I can't do that anymore. He sleeps with us, but DH is NOT someone who can be left alone in a bed with a baby. He's a super deep sleeper and would never realize if DS3 woke up. DH usually wakes up at 7am. That's just enough time for him to shower, dress and sprint out the door. He never gets home earlier than 6pm, usually later. I try to hold dinner so we can all eat together, so we usually end up eating between 6 and 7. By the time dinner is over, it's bedtime for the big boys (5&7).

I would love to go back to my AM routine, but DH is just not a morning person. DS3 (8mo) sleeps until 7 or later too. Running at night is not great either. Since DH gets home late, I can't really go after he's home but before dinner and if I wait until it's been long enough after dinner to run, it's really late and DS3 is ready to nurse to sleep.

I have a jogging stroller, but it's February in Wisconsin right now, so it's often just too cold to take DS3 out. When it's not below zero I put him in a wrap and zip a big fleece jacket over both of us to walk the big kids to and from school, so I do get some activity. But I really want to do more, and I'd really like to do it on my own - 30 min to myself every other day would be awesome!

I've told DH that I really want to do this and he agrees, but when I've tried to wake him up early to watch DS3, he says ok but then just passes back out. I've offered to give him the same amount of time on the other days of the week, but he hasn't taken me up on it.

So, I guess I'm asking 2 things:

1. Is it unreasonable of me to expect DH to wake up a bit earlier so I can do this?

2. If it is, how else can I fit it in?

Just to clarify, I realize DH is not a morning person. I realize that I'm asking a lot, but then again, I don't get all the sleep I'd like either. I go to bed earlier than he does, but I often don't sleep uninterupted like he does. I'm nursing throughout the night, listening to DH snore, dealing with nightmares etc., and I NEVER wake him up at night for anything (screaming baby, barfing 7yo, nothing). Partly because I know he needs his sleep, and partly because it's not really worth it - by the time he's awake enough to realize what I'm asking the baby's hysterical or there's barf everywhere, etc.

So, thoughts? What have you been able to work out? And, we can't afford a gym membership right now, so dropping kids off there is not an option either.

Wow, this is long! If you got this far, thanks for reading!

[rootzdawta]

Well, for me working out is not an option. I spent about 4 or 5 months literally locking myself in the living room to get my work out in in the early morning hours while my husband and son grappled, my son screaming, knocking on the door, trying to get me to come get him. My husband is not a morning person like yours but it's the only time I can get it in and I let him know that if he wanted a happy healthy wife, this is what had to be. I got up and worked out and trusted that it would be okay for the one hour I needed. Your hubby will cope as mine did (especially if he's on board with the idea that this is something you need) and now, my youngest sleeps right through the night so I sometimes get even an hour and a half to work out.

[lil_earthmomma]

How bout a different form of exercise?

A workout dvd that you could do while ds3 is napping? There are some awesome hard core workouts out there that would keep your stamina up and give you the cardio you crave, until the weather warms up.

[rootzdawta]

Originally Posted by lil_earthmomma

How bout a different form of exercise?

A workout dvd that you could do while ds3 is napping? There are some awesome hard core workouts out there that would keep your stamina up and give you the cardio you crave, until the weather warms up.

So true. I recently got Jillian Michael's Blast Fat, Boost Metabolism and that is really a tough workout. Also, Women's Health Train for Your Body Type. And they're not too long.

[lotus.blossom]

I try to fit my workouts in at any cost because its so vital for my happiness. After ds1 I used to use his naptime to workout and I got really fit just doing workouts in my living room. I used my cables video on demand and did an intense 20-30 minute workout every day. Weights/intervals/cardio.

My new baby (also not new, 9months) does.not.nap. I mean some days he might take a 17 minute nap and I can squeeze in a workout if I am lucky. But on those days that he is not napping I get creative. I put him in his highchair with some ricepuffs and cut up fruit and get in my workout with him watching. Luckily he is a mellow fellow and enjoys watching me even when he is done with his food. Usually ds1 is running around playing, and randomly joining in with me (sometimes underfoot)

Otherwise, on the weekend or on the off chance that my DH goes into work later (he is self employed) I TELL him that I am locking myself in the spare room to use the elliptical.

Oh and one more thing I do.....I get Shape and Fitness magazine and cut out their workouts and bring them upstairs to my bedroom and work on toning when my kids are playing on the floor with me. I can easily fit in some reps of situps, leglifts, and even use a resistance band while they roll around on the floor.

I have had to give in to the fact that with 2 children I am no longer at liberty to have free time. At least for the next couple years. So not setting myself up for dissapointment has allowed me to get creative with working out. If I wrote it off just because my son doesn't nap then I would never do it.

Goodluck!

[zubeldia]

I honestly don't think it's unreasonable at all. As I explained to my DH, I am not an 'up all night nursing person' but do it, and mostly with a lot of grace and cheer, because 7month old DS needs that We also cosleep - and DH is not a morning person. But he really knows that I will be a very unhappy camper if I do not get in significant activity. WHen ds was really little I didn't trust DH to be in bed with DS alone so I would drag DH up - sometimes at 4:30am if that's what our schedule called for, and we made it work.

However, I am good about giving DH time to workout, too. I think that exercise is much too important not to schedule even if it means that we get help from our partners. For me exercise is like a daily anti=depressant so we make it a priority. Honestly, in my case, it's more important for me to exercise very regularly than it is to sleep well (though both would be nice! )

[Violet2]

What about putting baby in the jumper while you workout?

We had babygates set up for a while so that I could lock DD in the living room with a DVD while I worked out in our teeny hallway (4 foot by 4foot) and keep an eye on her. That worked well for a while until DD started hanging on the gate and crying for me.

You'll have to constantly tweak to fit exercise in.

I've done very quiet workouts during nap time with very low music. Worked out while watching my fave show on TV once DD is in bed.

It's hard. It really is. I find it's almost impossible to get into a consistent groove. Especially since I work some nights.

V

[phathui5]

1. Is it unreasonable of me to expect DH to wake up a bit earlier so I can do this?

What time are you talking? Have you and dh tried making up a new schedule?

[bronxmom]

Could your dh handle bedtime for the older kids while you run? It sounds like if you just want a 1/2 hour run out the door then you could do it while dh cleans up and gets the older kids in bed and you could still kiss goodnight. He might not love that after a long day but might prefer it to getting up at 6am.

Or could dinner wait just 1/2 hour and dh gets it on the table and all set up while you run?

Barring that, could he get up at 6am 2 weekdays/week and then you could also run on the weekend? That would get you 4 runs in. The good news is that you're lucky you like to run so it's a really time-efficient workout.

[bronxmom]

another idea: i'm assuming you stay at home with the kids? is there another sahp that you could switch days with to workout? you could watch all the kids together for an hour 2x/week and they could do it 2x/week. it's not a lot of time to have to watch 2 kids and could benefit both of you. you could even try posting in the in my tribe section here if you don't have irl people you could ask.

[Ravin]

Do you live anywhere near a mall? I would head to the mall with DS3 right after you've dropped the older ones at school, then go to the mall with the stroller and walk. When the weather warms up, you can just go from the school drop to walking the neighborhood.

Another possibility is to find a mom's day out program, or a gym with child care. Those of course cost $$, but church-run mom's day out programs often don't cost much, and a lot of gyms are offering great deals these days because they're a bit desperate.

[SquishyKitty]

Does your youngest DS sleep all of the way through your workout? If he does, can he be moved somewhere safe to sleep while you're gone, so that if your DH doesn't hear him, he's still ok?

Your DH really needs to get on board with helping you get a workout, especially in the dark winter months with not a lot of sunlight, it's great for the mental health. If you don't go out and run, get up at the same time and do a video at home. Might be an easy way to ease your DH into waking up, (because I am not a morning person and I know that an earlier routine is probably not easy to just jump into) but it's a good way to start off, until you are sure he's waking up like he should be, and then start heading outdoors.

[425lisamarie]

I workout and always have WITH my kids.

Energetic music and a few swings, bounces, giggles, pushups over them, holding them while I squat, bounce them up in the air then set back down.....

all in between what I intend to do. Here's what a quick HARD workout is like at home. I have a pullup bar (cheap and not permanent, tension set) and a kettlebell and a medicine ball though you don't need those.

As many pullups as I can do, drop and as many pushups as I can do. Jump up and do 15 squat jumps, then lay down and do v-ups. I'll do 4 sets maybe, and it takes all of under 30 minutes. My kids are now 3.5 and 5.5 and I still do this with them. DD likes to be picked up and swung around, etc. They use my tiny dumbells to show me excercises and are proud to workout with mama. DS does yoga moves and stuff he makes up and everyone is happy! I also do walking lunges down my big hall and other things, but you really don't have to do something stationary like a treadmill or something. If you're doing a circuit your heart rate is up the whole time and you get a total body workout, and your kids will grow up thinking fitness is just a part of your day which is only positive!

I do go to a gym twice a week now, and it's good to get some time to yourself but for me I just need a schedule everyone is happy with, or at least tolerates well because I would be under more stress and not be able to workout anyways if baby/DH were miserable.

[j_p_i]

I have invested in an ea active, and it was the best thing I could have done for my fitness with a baby! I also have an 8 month old, and once DH goes off to work or school in the morning, DD and I head to the living room for her playtime while I work out. She happily plays, while I workout using the ea active and can interact with her/talk to her at the same time.

I feel you on the cold weather (I live in Maine) but I got a Kelty backpack for Christmas, and DD LOVES to go on walks in it. We just get bundled up (which DD isn't a big fan of) and once we get going it's great. In fact, we walked 1.5 miles this morning while it was lightly snowing, and she was happy as could be in there! I use that and walk to dog twice a day, for a total of 2.5 - 3 miles.

Like others have said, I have found that fitness is super important to my sanity these days. What works for me is involving my DD. Good luck!

[bronxmom]

Originally Posted by j_p_i

I feel you on the cold weather (I live in Maine) but I got a Kelty backpack for Christmas, and DD LOVES to go on walks in it. We just get bundled up (which DD isn't a big fan of) and once we get going it's great. In fact, we walked 1.5 miles this morning while it was lightly snowing, and she was happy as could be in there! I use that and walk to dog twice a day, for a total of 2.5 - 3 miles.

Sorry to hijack the thread, but how do you bundle her up? I have a backpack and used to use long walks on days I couldn't get to the gym but it's been sooo cold and I just can't seem to keep him warm enough. He gets miserable pretty quick and when I get home and undress him his body really is cold. I usually do 2 layers of pants plus snowpant overalls, a onesie, shirt, sweater and jacket plus warm hat and gloves and booties. What am I doing wrong?

[j_p_i]

Originally Posted by bronxmom

Sorry to hijack the thread, but how do you bundle her up? I have a backpack and used to use long walks on days I couldn't get to the gym but it's been sooo cold and I just can't seem to keep him warm enough. He gets miserable pretty quick and when I get home and undress him his body really is cold. I usually do 2 layers of pants plus snowpant overalls, a onesie, shirt, sweater and jacket plus warm hat and gloves and booties. What am I doing wrong?

I do the same type of layering, the only difference is that instead of snowpants overalls, I have a whole snowsuit that I just zip her into. It covers her hands, feet, and head, though I also put another fleece hat on her. I think having the all-in-one suit helps keep her body warmth inside. It's from ll bean and fleece lined. I also don't go out unless it's 20 degrees or warmer. HTH!

[boysmom2]

Thank you all so much for your support and great ideas!

Originally Posted by lil_earthmomma

How bout a different form of exercise?

A workout dvd that you could do while ds3 is napping? There are some awesome hard core workouts out there that would keep your stamina up and give you the cardio you crave, until the weather warms up.

Sadly, DS3 doesn't nap consistently or for very long. Also, I try to use nap time to either get things done or spend one on one time with DS2. He's the middle child and while he loves his baby brother, I think he's feeling a bit neglected lately.

Originally Posted by lotus.blossom

Otherwise, on the weekend or on the off chance that my DH goes into work later (he is self employed) I TELL him that I am locking myself in the spare room to use the elliptical.

Maybe this is what I should do - I feel SO guilty asking for time to myself that I never get it. "hey dh, do you think maybe I could go for a run in the morning? Oh, you have lots of work to do and will be up late? Nevermind..."

Originally Posted by zubeldia

I honestly don't think it's unreasonable at all. As I explained to my DH, I am not an 'up all night nursing person' but do it, and mostly with a lot of grace and cheer, because 7month old DS needs that We also cosleep - and DH is not a morning person. But he really knows that I will be a very unhappy camper if I do not get in significant activity. WHen ds was really little I didn't trust DH to be in bed with DS alone so I would drag DH up - sometimes at 4:30am if that's what our schedule called for, and we made it work.

However, I am good about giving DH time to workout, too. I think that exercise is much too important not to schedule even if it means that we get help from our partners. For me exercise is like a daily anti=depressant so we make it a priority. Honestly, in my case, it's more important for me to exercise very regularly than it is to sleep well (though both would be nice! )

I LOVE the bolded part! I never thought about it that way before! And I too am more than willing to give hime time to work out - if only he would (that's a whole other thread!) I do think it would help my mood immensely if I was getting more exercise. That can't hurt DH to have a happier wife!

Originally Posted by phathui5

What time are you talking? Have you and dh tried making up a new schedule?

All I'm asking for is 30 minutes. So instead of getting up at 7, he's awake at 6:30. And awake is all I ask. It would be miraculous if he could also start getting the big kids ready for school or something, but just keeping the baby alive for 30 minutes would be fantastic.

Originally Posted by bronxmom

Could your dh handle bedtime for the older kids while you run? It sounds like if you just want a 1/2 hour run out the door then you could do it while dh cleans up and gets the older kids in bed and you could still kiss goodnight. He might not love that after a long day but might prefer it to getting up at 6am.

Or could dinner wait just 1/2 hour and dh gets it on the table and all set up while you run?

Barring that, could he get up at 6am 2 weekdays/week and then you could also run on the weekend? That would get you 4 runs in. The good news is that you're lucky you like to run so it's a really time-efficient workout.

Doing more on the weekends is a good idea. As for dinnertime, bedtime is typically immediately after dinner and I just can't run on a full stomach. And, often DH doesn't even make it home in time for dinner or bedtime for the kids.

Originally Posted by bronxmom

another idea: i'm assuming you stay at home with the kids? is there another sahp that you could switch days with to workout? you could watch all the kids together for an hour 2x/week and they could do it 2x/week. it's not a lot of time to have to watch 2 kids and could benefit both of you. you could even try posting in the in my tribe section here if you don't have irl people you could ask.

This is a good idea too! I'm going to have to think about my options there!

Originally Posted by Ravin

Do you live anywhere near a mall? I would head to the mall with DS3 right after you've dropped the older ones at school, then go to the mall with the stroller and walk. When the weather warms up, you can just go from the school drop to walking the neighborhood.

Another possibility is to find a mom's day out program, or a gym with child care. Those of course cost $$, but church-run mom's day out programs often don't cost much, and a lot of gyms are offering great deals these days because they're a bit desperate.

No malls here (not a single bookstore in this town either!). That would be a good idea though! I'll have to check out the gym idea again too.

Originally Posted by SquishyKitty

Does your youngest DS sleep all of the way through your workout? If he does, can he be moved somewhere safe to sleep while you're gone, so that if your DH doesn't hear him, he's still ok?

Your DH really needs to get on board with helping you get a workout, especially in the dark winter months with not a lot of sunlight, it's great for the mental health. If you don't go out and run, get up at the same time and do a video at home. Might be an easy way to ease your DH into waking up, (because I am not a morning person and I know that an earlier routine is probably not easy to just jump into) but it's a good way to start off, until you are sure he's waking up like he should be, and then start heading outdoors.

Unfortunately DS won't sleep through being moved. I wish I could! But I like the idea of easing DH into this. And thanks for agreeing that he should be supportive. Like I said, I feel really guilty asking for time for myself. And, my dh is great. I don't want to make it seem like he's a jerk. He's just really busy and stressed with work.

Originally Posted by 425lisamarie

I workout and always have WITH my kids.

Energetic music and a few swings, bounces, giggles, pushups over them, holding them while I squat, bounce them up in the air then set back down.....

all in between what I intend to do. Here's what a quick HARD workout is like at home. I have a pullup bar (cheap and not permanent, tension set) and a kettlebell and a medicine ball though you don't need those.

As many pullups as I can do, drop and as many pushups as I can do. Jump up and do 15 squat jumps, then lay down and do v-ups. I'll do 4 sets maybe, and it takes all of under 30 minutes. My kids are now 3.5 and 5.5 and I still do this with them. DD likes to be picked up and swung around, etc. They use my tiny dumbells to show me excercises and are proud to workout with mama. DS does yoga moves and stuff he makes up and everyone is happy! I also do walking lunges down my big hall and other things, but you really don't have to do something stationary like a treadmill or something. If you're doing a circuit your heart rate is up the whole time and you get a total body workout, and your kids will grow up thinking fitness is just a part of your day which is only positive!

I do go to a gym twice a week now, and it's good to get some time to yourself but for me I just need a schedule everyone is happy with, or at least tolerates well because I would be under more stress and not be able to workout anyways if baby/DH were miserable.

This is a great idea too. Even if do get my am run in, I should try to get more activity throughout the day.

Thanks again everybody! Off to have a talk with dh!

[425lisamarie]

Good luck with it mama. It's a hard balance to find sometimes between keeping ourselves happy with things we need for our physical/mental well being, and taking care of everyone else' feelings and needs. We moms wear a million hats in a day!

Maybe you could start by finding a couple days a week that you do your morning thing, and then the other days try to do in home circuits, or run outside with the baby? Not sure if that's an option...

[boysmom2]

Originally Posted by 425lisamarie

Good luck with it mama. It's a hard balance to find sometimes between keeping ourselves happy with things we need for our physical/mental well being, and taking care of everyone else' feelings and needs. We moms wear a million hats in a day!

Maybe you could start by finding a couple days a week that you do your morning thing, and then the other days try to do in home circuits, or run outside with the baby? Not sure if that's an option...

Thanks! I do really only want 2 or 3 days during the week, I'm not asking for everyday. Ideally of course I'd love it to be everyday and much earlier so I could shower too before I have to get everyone else up and ready, but I'll take what I can get right now!