SOP for after a loss....(x-posted to loss forum)

[Cuddlebaby]

I am 20 weeks. Have not yet been to a medical professional at all. Had a long talk w/ my mw. NST TWICE a week for the last month, lots of US's...I am sad and mourning the loss of my so far peaceful pregnancy....thinking of canceling appointments...I asked what would happen if I refused, she said the office would ask me to find care elsewhere and that this is standard care for anyone who has had a loss.....been crying much of yesterday and today....

[Tulafina]

I couldn't read and not post.
I'm so sorry about the loss your baby.


Is there any other care provider that you could see? I don't know your history or what happened in regards to your birth...does she think that she could have helped you and your baby? What are your feelings in regards to your birth?

My thoughts are with you. I hope you can find someone that respects the way you want to proceed with your pregnancy/birth. Take Care.

[gossamerwindweb]

I am sorry for your loss. I don't have advice just a lot of sympathy.

[corrio]

Yes it is quite tough with a pregnancy after loss, I have been there.. And left every appointment crying my eyes out because of all the crap I would get for refusing the "extra" monitoring.. You know the risks you know what happens, you dont need to be reminded every visit about it..

Its a tough call I am curently 18 weeks pg with another after my loss.. I havent seen anyone profressional yet because of what I went through last time, just trying not to get stressed out about everything.. A ultrasound would be so nice right now but going down that path isnt worth the stress for me..

Its so very hard and we all have to make choices for what works best for us.. Maybe this person isnt a right match for you.. Try telling them how you feel..

Hugs
Lisa

[KristaDJ]

Rebecca, you know what all of us would say to you.
I hope you get some peace back, mama, Lots of LOVE!

[AllyRae]

I am so sorry for your loss....

: I've been there...my PAL was high risk for multiple reasons and I ended up having so many u/s and NSTs because of my blood condition. It's so hard to lose your pregnancy innocence and then to not be able to even have a peaceful pregnancy...

[gossamerwindweb]

You know, I was thinking... is it 'standard care' because they can fix a problem and save your baby with all this extra stuff.... or is it 'standard care' because most women are ultra scared after a loss (understandably) and WANT extra monitoring? I think it is probably the latter. I wonder if they would listen AT ALL if you calmly explained that although other women want extra testing, you want to be treated as if you hadn't had a loss. It is just a thought again!

[Kidzaplenty]

So sorry for your loss. As for SOP, maybe it is just their SOP. With my pgcy after my loss, I had to almost beg for an u/s when I did not feel movement for a couple of days, and she almost missed my pre-e/HELLPs. So much monitoring so early sounds very strange if the only reason is a previous loss.

[Serenyd]

Maybe you can negotiate for less monitoring. Is any of this even evidence-based? I would do some research and then talk to the midwife. HTH! Sorry you are going through this.

[Cuddlebaby]

good point about evidence based! that's my beef! it's STANDARD! I think I am going to see a gp. I'm concerned about having even more fights on my hand. especially where I don't have my mw to advocate for me. (see my post in loss if you want to know more). but *anyone* can run tests right? and that's what I need. ugh....gotta make that call. wish me luck. is a peaceful pregnancy too much to ask?

[Luv2bemommy]

{{{{{huuggsss}}}}}}

[khaoskat]

Originally Posted by Cuddlebaby

I am 20 weeks. Have not yet been to a medical professional at all. Had a long talk w/ my mw. NST TWICE a week for the last month, lots of US's...I am sad and mourning the loss of my so far peaceful pregnancy....thinking of canceling appointments...I asked what would happen if I refused, she said the office would ask me to find care elsewhere and that this is standard care for anyone who has had a loss.....been crying much of yesterday and today....

I had a loss at full term in 10/06. I got again 1 year 2 days from the day I got pregnant with the one I lost.

We had talked about towards the end of the pregnancy (like the last 8 weeks) doing a weekly NST, and if needed twice weekly. We never did get to the weekly NSTs, because everything was going well. I did get to the 40 week point and have to do them as a result of that.

But, I also had a fetal doppler which helped ease my mind about things.