Talk to me about child support

[sunfish21]

Question-temporary hearing is at the end of the month and I am wondering if child support is all STBX is supposed to do? Or is that the least amount legally asked of him and he should be doing more on his own (buying diapers, etc...). We are asking for me have full placement, custody, etc...so it isn't like he would need to be buying these or other items for his place. Is it fair to ask him for more? I know this won't make him do it, just unsure how this all works.

[Goodmom2008]

The only thing that your stbx is legally obligated to pay is what the court order says.

He will need to have a supply of diapers, food and whatever else he needs at his own place. He will have to buy these himself. As for clothes, I would send him enough for the time he has the child. If he doesn't return them, then stop sending them.

You may be asking for full placement, but he is still going to get parenting time. That will more than likely include overnights, you aren't going to be able to prevent that unless you can prove that he is a danger to your child.

Here are some issues that you will want addressed in the final court order:

1. Childcare-if you aren't working now, you will need to go back to work and will need childcare.
2. Extracurricular (not something you would address at a hearing for temporary support). Your child may be too young now, but that won't always be the case. And if it isn't addressed in the original court order, it's hard to get it added at a later date without the other party's agreement.
3. Life insurance. For both of you. If something were to happen to him, you will still have support for your child. And if something were to happen to you, he's going to need the support for the child.
4. College costs.
5. Medical costs (this is something that can be addressed at the temporary hearing). Include a timeframe for billing and a timeframe for reimbursement.

[StephandOwen]

As far as buying diapers and such- that's the child support. He pays the child support but is not obligated to buy anything else for the child for use at your house. For his parenting time he's responsible for buying food, diapers, toys, etc.

Ex has paid child support for almost 6 years.... and not a dime more.

The other issues Goodmom mentions are great things to bring up. They may not be important to you now, but in a few years you'll be kicking your butt if it's not in the court order.

But also know that you can get a child support order modified. In michigan I think it's every 3 years. The last time we had it done the court sent both of us a letter asking if either wanted them to look at the child support order. Ex did not want to (because he knew he'd gotten a raise since the last order). I did. I sent in a letter asking them to look at the child support order AND to take into consideration that ds had been diagnosed with autism since the last order, listed expenses that go with that, let them know the ex wasn't helping with any of those additional costs and, in fact, doesn't even take ds for parenting time so it's all on MY shoulders. They raised the child support by 31%.

[sunfish21]

I knew that was all that was legally required. I was wondering more if it is inappropriate or something to ask for more. There is no order in place yet--the hearing is set for the end of the month--and he has not been helping for awhile now. My due date is 2 days away from the hearing date so there is a real possibility of have to reschedule that into the following month....and we need things! My parents have helped out a lot, but it would be nice for him to do more.

Because of physical and mental health issues, along with substance abuse, everyone seems to think that the supervised visitation for him should not be a problem. Not sure if I should rest easy on that one....but if he never has to spend a dime over the 25% support...just seemed unfair to me. Not that fairness is to be expected.....

[Ceinwen]

My ex pays the provincially mandated support (according to the tables used here) and provides clothing, toys, food, etc. at his home for when the kids are there every second weekend.

There's no clause in our papers that say anything about extra-curriculars, daycare, etc. - so I'm fully on the hook for everything. Even though daycare is $$$ and I'm barely making ends meet.

Having said that, my ex is (for the most part) not a horrible person, and tries to help out where he can. For example - I pay for dance during the year, and he pays for soccer in the summer (although what I pay per month for dance is what it costs the whole summer for soccer! lol)

[One_Girl]

Where I live the court calculates child support based on a formula and it includes what percentage of child care and insurance/medical costs each parent must pay. Each parent also has to pay for the food and other supplies when their child is in their care.

[BabyBearsMummy]

[QUOTE=Ceinwen;15025103]There's no clause in our papers that say anything about extra-curriculars, daycare, etc. - so I'm fully on the hook for everything. Even though daycare is $$$ and I'm barely making ends meet.
QUOTE]

Ceinwen childcare costs and extrodinary extra-curricular expenses are covered by Section 7. You ex is required to pay them according to the formula (percentage based on income) applicable in your province. Lookign into this and getting it sorted out ASAP could likely save you thousands of dollars a year.

[StephandOwen]

Originally Posted by sunfish21

I knew that was all that was legally required. I was wondering more if it is inappropriate or something to ask for more. There is no order in place yet--the hearing is set for the end of the month--and he has not been helping for awhile now.

Just a quick note- if you don't ask then you probably don't have much of a chance of getting anything above and beyond the court ordered amount. But, if you do ask- do you think you'll actually get anything? Is it going to cause you more stress to ask and have him say no?

I would take a deep breathe and let it go, but my ds is 6 now and I've never gotten a dime over the court ordered amount. Ex has never helped pay for diapers, clothes, extra activities, therapies, etc. Heck, he hasn't even paid his portion of uncovered medical expenses, but up until now I've been nice and not billed those through the court. So I may be a little bit more cynical when it comes to this, just because of my experience.

If you think he would actually help, it can't hurt to ask. What do you need right now? Diapers? Clothes? A carseat? Maybe it would help if you told him exactly what you needed help purchasing right now. Maybe even give him the chance to go buy it.

[sunfish21]

Thanks--I am sure that I should let it go....there is no money and I know once he has some again it will go to him first. Just thought since it has been months of very little and weeks before the hearing...but wanted to err on appropriate and reasonable.