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Is the 3rd child really the hardest? - Page 2

post #21 of 50
I think it depends on lots of things. For us 3rd was the biggest change because we had only planned on having 2 children and #3 is only 20 months younger than #2. She was a total surprise. My 2nd was definitely my toughest baby (she wouldn't go to anyone but me, not even her Dad until she was 10 months old). Having said that she is only one that was "planned" so I was in a really good place when she was born so that made it a bit easier. My first was an easy baby, but I was a basket case ~ PPD etc. Having said all that my youngest is 2 today and it is definitely getting easier. Almost makes me want another, but that is no longer an option
post #22 of 50
My 3rd and 4th have been extremely easy. My shoulders are about worn out, but the rest of me (sanity) is fine.

I was really scared to have my 3rd (a surprise). It just seemed so natural though, after he came. I had all the tricks, all the experience, none of the worry and anxiety. It was nothing like adding the 2nd, which was really hard for me.
post #23 of 50
My third was my easiest. He was happy and easy-going and slept all the time. My DDs were 6 and 4 and they just adored their younger brother. Adding him was such a smooth transition. He kept that great personality as a toddler and almost never had tantrums or power struggles. He's still a happy, easy-going child at age 6.

But then came number 4. She cried and fussed and never slept. Her first year was a blur. All I did was struggle to meet her needs. The needs of the other children fell by the wayside. Nobody got enough attention from me and I had no life outside of taking care of her. Now as a toddler she's still such a live wire. I don't understand how a child that never sleeps can have so much energy. She's always jumping and dancing and climbing. Everything I want her to do is a fight. It has been an exhausting 2.5 years.

I do think it comes down to personality. You never know what you're going to get.
post #24 of 50
Originally Posted by springbabes View Post
I do think it comes down to personality. You never know what you're going to get.
It does, really. But yk what? I firmly believe we get what we can handle.
post #25 of 50
I have three. They're currently 4, almost 6, and 15 months.

My third has been by far the easiest kid I've had. He slept well from the get go, he nursed just fine, and he's very happy-go-lucky.

My middle boy has been our biggest challenge, as far as keeping up with him. He's very emotional, a terrible sleeper, and WILD. But he's also a total sweetheart, very intelligent, and super sweet to younger children.

My dd was the toughest as a baby--she was "colicky" or something as an infant, and I thought I'd never make it through her first year. Something in her switched when she hit toddlerhood, though, because all the sleep problems and crying evaporated.

I do think that three is hard as far as the workload, especially when they're all very small. The laundry, dishes, cleaning, etc., can be very overwhelming at times. It feels like a lot more than just the mess of one more person for some reason. But I've just had to adjust my expectations and do my best. I keep thinking that someday, I'll be able to have my house just how I want it. But for now, I need to be flexible. Of course my timeline has been pushed back again, as we're now expecting Baby #4!

IMO, the first baby is the HARDEST. Of course mine was just not an easy baby, but everything is new and there can be a lot of self-doubt if things aren't going well, and you don't have the perspective to know that it won't be just like this forever. I've also been told that having three is as hard as it gets, and if you can do three you can do any number. I'm hoping this is true, but I suppose I'll find out soon enough.
post #26 of 50
I have 22 months between DS and DD1, 24 months between DD1 and DD2, will be ~22/23 months between DD2 and #4.

For me, going from 1 to 2 was the hardest, and DD1 is still the most challenging. The drama, screaming and whining - ahhhhhhhhh! And while I love her dearly, the words "quiet" and "sweet" have never been used to describe her. (Well, maybe while she is sleeping?) It was easy going from 2 to 3, DD2 is now 18 months and also developing a, shall we say, very strong personality. I'm still waiting to see how it is going from 3 to 4.
post #27 of 50
There were three of us in my family, and we were all fairly well behaved children. Then again, our parents split up 7 or 8 years after the youngest of us was born, so it mightve put a strain on our parents (especially financially).
post #28 of 50
Haven't read the other responses, but my third was the easiest. Everyone was already used to sharing Mom and Dad, and adapted much easier to the next kid. It might have been the ages between the kids, too, as ds1 was only 19 months old when ds2 was born. When ds1 was born, dd was 2y 2mo, and she had a tough transition.

When I was pg with #3, my cousin told me that when you have your third kid you go from man-on-man to zone defense. I liked that analogy, as a former basketballer.
post #29 of 50
I have a 6 yr old, 4.5 yr old and 6 mo old boys. Transitioning to two kids was HELL, b/c they were only 18 mo apart and DS2 was a very unhappy, high needs child who sucked the life out of me. DS1 was very spirited and all over the place, so I was pulling out my hair trying to keep one out of danger while having one who cried all day. Right now 3 is hard, but manageable. The older two are much more indep and able to occupy one another and DS3 has a good personality. I think it really depends on your kids' ages and temperment. We always joke that had DS2 been our first child, there would have been a really large gap before we had another child, and that is exactly what happened (4 yr gap btwn DS2 and DS3).
post #30 of 50
Originally Posted by sewchris2642 View Post
For us, it was the personality of the child that made it hard, not their postion in the family. Angela, our 3rd, was easy to add into the family dynamics. It was Erica, our 2nd, that was hard. Erica is the reason why there is 4 years between her and Angela but only 2.5 years between Joy and Erica. Dylan also upset the dynamics. MOre because of his personality, than the age span. If we had had Erica first, chances are she would have been an only child.
: My second was also THAT child in my family, and would probably be happier as an only child. It's a bit soon to tell, but I think our newbie (number 5) may be the same way.

I will say, though, that having three kids under 5 is far harder than having five overall. Spacing counts for a lot.
post #31 of 50
#3 wasn't the hardest for us, I don't think. I mean sure, it made things a little more challenging as we were outnumbered and all that, but it wasn't as frightening as some make it out to be. #4 was a breeze. At that point, what's one more? LOL. I have been super lucky to have easy-going babies, so I'm sure my feelings would be different if even one had been high-needs.
post #32 of 50
I have three boys, ages 5.5, 4 and 10 weeks. #2 was by far the hardest transition in our family...my DH and I nearly split after #2. Now the first two were 17 months apart and I tandem nursed for over 2 years, so I was very focused on the kids and not much else (like DH).

In the just about 10 weeks we've lived with our sweet #3, we have wavered on our 'being done' stance. He's a fabulous baby and I think that this is partly him and partly that we're much more relaxed as parents. I still have to carry him around the house to stop the fussies, but now I just pop him in the sling, unload the dishwasher and enjoy being close to him. So far for us, #3 has been the best and easiest transition ....and brought us closer as a couple, too.

Ask me again when he begins to crawl, though!
post #33 of 50
from what you guys have said, i guess my "quiet little girl" dream is a little unrealistic. i don't know anything about having girls but i always thought there was no way that they could be louder than my boys. now i'm scared.
for us, #2 was THAT child. he's been extremely difficult, he doesn't sleep through the night, throws fits, gets into pickles all of the time, bites his brother. DS1 was a breezy baby/toddler but now that he's older he TALKS ALL OF THE TIME, LOUDLY. but i've always hoped that after DS2, any baby would seem like a breeze in comparison. i guess i'll soon find out. maybe #3 will be a "quiet little boy" like DS1 was when he was smaller.
post #34 of 50
I have 4 kids. Honestly, going from 0 to 1 child was the hardest transition for me.

By the time my 3rd child came, I was really getting good at the whole parenting thing. I knew how to divide my time between children. I'd learned lots of good tricks through trial and error. I was confident in my parenting.

Adding child #4 to our family was really difficult, but that had more to do with family dynamics and personality than anything else (DS was adopted at age 5, which is WAY different than adding a baby to the family!)
post #35 of 50

My first two are 19 months apart. DS has been super high-strung and demanding from the day he was born and DD is such a "mama's girl". If the transition from 2-3 is worse than 1-2, I will be needing lots of prayers.
post #36 of 50
#3 was my easiest. a lot of this was her personality. she is an easy child. even her birth was easy. and I have all girls. I mean there was the normal stuff that having a baby and toddler in the house entails but for the most part Ava was the bomb. I was confident in my parenting. #2 was finally coming out of her evil baby phase (she was not an easy baby......really, tripplets would have been easy after her) and everything just sorta clicked into place.
post #37 of 50
I should point out, #2 was a delightful, amazing, toddler and is still an amazing young lady. Her baby chaos was totally worth it.
post #38 of 50
#2 was the hardest. #3 and #4 just fit right in and we didn't really miss a beat.
post #39 of 50
The third has definitely been the hardest for us, but then there are so many other factors that could be related to that, it was an unplanned pregnancy, when the others weren't, c-section when the others weren't, NICU which we've never done before, major problems with breastfeeding, living 5000 miles away from family etc. it's worth it though!
post #40 of 50
Its not that my youngest is harder, he is actually an easy-going baby most of the time. Its just that I'm really tired. We may have had more kids if I had the chance to miss the baby years.
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