When did you know you wanted a homebirth? - Page 2

[MammaB21]

It was kind of a process for me. I've always been more natural minded with everything. I've also always been turned off by doctors in general.

Around the age of 18 a couple of my friends had babies. One of them was scheduled for an induction. To her it was the best thing in the world to know the exact day you were to give birth. She told me the story (which ended in a csection) and it scared the poop out of me. The other friend told me a story of how she wanted to try and do it naturally. I found myself proud of her for making that choice. Her hospital birth went much better, but it still scared me. I think most of my teen years I was afraid of birth. But not in the way most people were. I was not afraid of the pain, but of the loss of control. I started asking my mom questions about her births. I asked questions like, "do they have to catheterize you if you get an epideral?" "Will they let you get up and walk around?" I was shocked by the fact that you were bed ridden and literally numb from the waist down. I was scared of pooping in labor and I didn't like the idea of that just happening without my control. I didn't want to be naked in front of everyone. I feared an episiotomy. I feared a csection. I feared forecepts and the vacuum. I was just scared of it all so I put it out of my mind.

When I was 20 I became pregnant with DD. My sister and SIL both had kids as well. They are all within a year of each other, so I had their experiences to go by. Suddenly birth was all around me. My SIL had a birth that is the kind I have nightmares about. But my sister and my mom were extremely supportive of natural birth and taught me a lot. I still couldn't shake the fear of the unknown so I ended up at a hospital with midwives. I pretty much knew as soon as I checked in that next time I was staying home. But I still don't regret going. I think it was a necessary step to bring me to where I am now.

[lynsage]

I was 18, the same age I decided I wanted to pursue midwifery as a career after my dad told me his great-grandma had been a HB midwife. Had a HB at 27.

ETA: In the intervening nine years, I had MANY people tell me I would change my mind on HB, NFL, not vaxing, etc. when I grew up/got pregnant/had a baby. Wrong!

I eventually became a massage therapist, started working on doula certification, and am still planning on being a midwife one day.

[cheeqz]

I knew that I wanted a "drug free" birth, but assumed that I would have it in the hospital, close to all the things that I might need should something go wrong. AND in a hospital where I knew my insurance would be paying for most of it.

Sometime around 6 months in, I discovered that the practice that I was going to, although they SAID they supported my decision to go natural, had very different ideas about my labor, and wouldn't honor some of my requests.

So I set about interviewing a midwife at a birth center and a midwife that did home births and birth center births. I LOVED the midwife that did home births, and after learning a lot more in my childbirth education classes, decided that home was a good place to have my boy.

In the end, the pleasant surprise was that my insurance DID cover the entire cost. And the birth was an amazing (albeit painful) experience.

[velveeta]

I always knew I would have a natural birth, so when preg with my first, I went to a birth center for my prenatals. I wasn't happy there since they couldn't remember my name, so I found another BC. The midwife there explained that the BC didn't have anything special there that I don't have at home, so we decided on HB! This will be our third baby and home birth, and I am already SO excited! I have around 4 weeks to go, and I feel like a little kid waiting for Christmas!

It's funny that I didn't necessarily think of HB on my own b/c I am so into it. It is a perfect fit for my family -- I can't imagine having more children away from my current children. I just think it is the best! I subscribed to Mothering mag at 19, and didn't get married until 28/have a baby at 29! How about that?

[mountainborn]

I had an unmedicated hospital birth with my first, in 2005. It was what some other mamas have referred to as "very good, compared to the standard hospital birth". I really did have a birth high afterwards, and somehow as a result picked up a copy of Ina May's Guide & Spiritual Midwifery. Suddenly I realized how very lucky I was, that my favorite (and least interventive) CNM had been on call, that I had known to stay home until almost 7cm, that I had "toed the line" by not being too early, too late, too heavy, or any other number of variables that could have drastically changed things. I kept reading, and thinking, and came to the conclusion that we shouldn't have to be "lucky" to receive evidence based care during birth!

What really lit the fire for me and prompted me to become a doula was the treatment I received during my subsequent miscarriages. I longed for the kind of personal care that I now knew many midwives were providing, and that my large CNM group was unable to give. When I chose to stay home rather than miscarry in the E.R. (I was only 6 weeks or so), I had to defend this choice to the CNM on call, who seemed more concerned with her own liability than my situation. (long story) In the end I had 4 losses, and with each one the choice to stay in my own home with DH and dear friends nearby was so right for me. Combined with the strength I found during my first birth, these choices gave me the courage to continue to advocate for myself and others. We are expecting our rainbow baby now, and over 5 months along! I'm so thankful to be with midwives who have the time and desire to really connect with me during this pregnancy, and feel relieved beyond belief that any intervention or alteration of normal will be dealt with with my safety and my baby's safety as the first priority - we won't be competing with the hospital's best interest. For lengthy reasons I will be having a "home away from home" birth at a friend's house, but I'm so looking forward to it!

After the first loss I started training as a doula, and have attended births at home and in hospital. There's just no place like home! Some of the hospital births I've attended have been (lucky) unmedicated, positive experiences, like mine - but I think the starkest contrast for me is the immediate postpartum. At a healthy homebirth, no one takes the baby, or stands tapping their foot impatiently for some prescribed amount of "bonding time". No one grabs the mother's breast and forces it into the baby's mouth to get this "important 1st feeding" over with. The connection between mama and baby continues on, and the family is the center and the focus, not the nurse/doc/peds schedule. So beautiful.

[fruitfulmomma]

So, when did you know you wanted a home birth? Before ever having kids? After one kid?

When I was 15, I think. I was working in the church nursery and a couple of moms were talking about their births. One of them had had several children at home. That was the first time I consciously remember hearing about it and thinking it sounded lovely, especially the idea of avoiding doctors and the hospital.

I was married when I was 18 and our first child was born at home when I was 20.

We do have several people in our family still alive that were born at home, including my grandfather, mil, and great aunts and uncles. Then there is a gap of one or two generations where all the women, as far as I know, birthed in the hospital. Currently myself and one of my nieces (who was 16 or so at the time) have birthed at home.

[Night_Nurse]

I think I knew I wanted to homebirth on some level all of my adult life. I remember talking about it when I was in nursing school years ago and one of my classmates just told me that idea was the hillbilly in me.
I had my first child at a hospital w/ an OB, I'm not sure why, maybe because I was unsure or scared after having medical interventions drilled into my head during many years of being a nurse. My hospital birth was horrific and led to many problems, I believe, for both me and my child.
When I got pregnant w/ my second I started mt prenatal care with an OB but quickly realized I didn't want to go down that path again and really followed my heart. My dh worked with someone who has birthed all babies at home and we talked with them and then quickly set up an interview with a midwife.
I've never regretted my decision.
The two births were so different and I wish I would have had the confidence to birth my first one at home. I think I could live to be 1,000 and still wouldn't have such a wonderful experience as my homebirth.

[SilverFish]

i've wanted a homebirth since i was 3 1/2 and witnessed my sister being born at home in bed. i mean, i didn't know i wanted one, but i guess the seed was planted then, even though my mom totally isn't a earthy type at all... we were living overseas in a very poor country and it was a heck of a lot scarier to go the hospital there than it was for her to just stay home and have a doctor friend come and be her midwife. she later went on to have other siblings in the hospital, and even somewhat pooh poohs my decision to have a birth at home. so it's sort of weird that something she did that she doesn't even think was that great has had such an impact on me. to me, that birth was such an exciting, positive experience, that as soon as i started thinking consciously about having kids (when i was 19 or so) i knew it was something i wanted to do. and when we did start trying actively to have kids, it wasn't even a decision that needed to be thought about! i was having a homebirth and that was it!

[gfreelishy]

Thanks for mentioning that you WILL be my midwife, dearest Kayla!

I never really thought about having kids, let alone birthing techniques, until Kayla (the girl who wrote the post, haha) and I became closer friends. Despite the fact that I'm going to work with people with disabilities, I tend to lose patience with little kids; so kids haven't really been on my mind at all. =P But learning about all the natural births/ home births (and hearing about one of my aunts having two at home bath births) has definitely sparked my interest!

First of all, I hate hospitals. I've been in two, maybe three, hospitals my whole life, and they were NOT good experiences. They make me cringe, to say the least. So, what better environment for a baby to be welcomed in than his/ her own home, being surrounded by his/ her loving family?

Second of all, I am very opposed to unnecessary drugs/ medicines. My mom and I both have chronic back and neck pain, thyroid issues, and are currently on gluten free diets. We started seeing a nutritionist about two or so years ago, and he really changed our lives for the better. Also, I have had chronic nasal problems for about 4+ years; had surgery to "fix" it and the symptoms are still here. After trying millions of anti-allergy meds, nasal sprays, etc., I've finally just accepted my issue and do not feel like risking my health anymore by intoxicating my body with all the unnatural/ unnecessary chemicals. Anyhow, (sorry for my mini background story ) hospitals, and drugs!, scare me. So why would I want my baby to have them if even I don't like them?

Third, I love baths. They are one of the most calming/ stress relieving things out there for me (after sex, of course ). So obviously, I would love to have my child in a tub where it will (potentially) be a much more comfortable and relaxing environment for me (and the little one!).

Fourth, I guess I didn't really answer the question yet, huh? Around the prime age of 19 years old is when I decided I want a homebirth. Hehe.

~ Lisha

[earthboundmisfit]

It sounds cliche..but after watching Business of Being Born. I didn't even consider a homebirth with my DD and just thought that it was something "weirdos" did...well, now I am one of those weirdos =) I seriously started considering it when we talked about TTC again, and had my mind made up when we got pregnant with our 2nd. I've never been more excited about something.

[Engineering_Mama]

When I was a teenager I knew I wanted to have an unmedicated birth. I was fascinated with the entire experience of giving birth and feeling my child be born. Somehow, subconsciously, that desire to birth unmedicated became a desire to birth at home. When I was working on my PhD I began to really, really want to have a child. I was finally ready. But I couldn't TTC because the research I was doing involved chemicals known to cause birth defects. So instead I started reading everything I could about birth and homebirth. When I finished my research we started TTC and I started planning my homebirth. Even though my homebirth ended in a transfer I am so glad I got to spend the majority of my labor at home (we transferred while I was pushing, not the funnest thing I've ever done). And if we have another we'll be planning another homebirth.

[ann_of_loxley]

I knew I wanted a homebirth ('next time') as I lay there having my son cut out of me.

[ShwarmaQueen]

Originally Posted by ann_of_loxley

I knew I wanted a homebirth ('next time') as I lay there having my son cut out of me.

Substitute 'daughter' for 'son'.

[sdbeachy]

Probably since I was 2 or 3 and heard my/my brother's birth stories. I'm another 2nd generation homebirther. I watched my baby brother being born when I was 5. I used to put my teddy bear under my shirt and pretend I was giving birth. I never considered birthing anywhere else but my home.

[filiadeluna]

I wanted one with DD, but I chose a hospital based nurse-midwifery because DH was more comfortable with it, plus our insurance covered it (or so I thought: came to find out it covered all but $1000 after the fact).

I finally convinced DH to let me have a HB when I have baby #2 b/c he realized how out-of-control a hospital experience can be even with the most well-meaning CNMs. I was induced at 42 weeks with a posterior baby, and it was NOT a good experience (36+ hours of cytotec + pitocin-induced back labor).

Yeah. I am SO not going through that again. NO WAY. I will never birth at a hospital again unless it is for a homebirth emergency transfer. There are no birth centers around here, but I realized that laboring at home would be much more comfortable and relaxing anyhow.

Why would anyone whom has gone through a traumatic hospital birth and educates themselves NOT want a homebirth?

[KaylaBeanie]

I'm so glad that you ladies made the decision to HBAC! It must be so comforting to know that even in event of a transfer, you are in control of what others are doing to you.

I've been thinking more, and I really like the thought that my birth will be a non-event. There won't be a big rush to the hospital. I'll just get to chill in my house, eating what I want, doing what my body lets me. It's comforting knowing that I can sleep, walk around the block, sit outside, be on my computer, whatever I want, during labor and after birth. There will be no fighting hospital staff, no mention of "letting" me do things that are my right, etc.

[oiseau]

When I was a teen, I was a big fan of all things related to babies. I used to baby sit all the time and every Sunday at church, I'd skip out on the sermon to help in the nursery. I think it was around that time that A Baby Story started showing on TLC all the time. I loved watching that show (and A Wedding Story) and thinking about when I'd be grown up and get married and have kids of my own. At the time, I knew very little about birth and all the unnecessary interventions, but I always liked the episodes that happened at birth centers. It seemed so much calmer and more peaceful. My mom had unmedicated hospital births will me and my brothers, so I just assumed that's what I'd do too. Once I knew about birth centers though, I decided I'd rather have my kids in a birth center. I always had the idea in the back of my head that a woman should be able to give birth alone, without medical help because women have been giving birth forever....a lot longer than birth centers and hospitals have been around. At some point, I decided that I'd probably be ok giving birth at home (I think, in my head, I was probably thinking more along the lines of UC than HB), but I'd want my first child to be born at a birth center since I wouldn't really know what I was doing the first time around. I took a break from being obsessed with babies for a few years during HS and college, but a feew years about, I started babysitting for an AP family and I slowly got introduced to AP. I started thinking seriously about having kids and getting obsessed with babies again and this time around, I discovered MDC and what homebirthing is really about (and UC). It just seemed to make sense to me.....it just seems natural. The more I learned, the more I realized that homebirth really appealed to me and I decided that that was what I wanted, for all my kids, even the first one. My partner and I talked about it and he totally agreed with me, so homebirth is our plan whenever we have kids. I'm still toying around with the idea of UC, but something about the female support of a midwife and a doula seems really comforting to me (ie. women taking care of women).

[JennTheMomma]

I knew I wanted a homebirth after having my first son in a Hospital Birth Center with an OB. Birth was uneventful, but complications arose during recovery of my vaginal birth. I knew next time I wanted something different. After DS' birth I started reading natrual pregnancy books and decided I was going to homebirth next time and start studying to be a Midwife.

[tygrss]

Well, when I was a medical student on my OB rotation one of the OB residents planned and had a home birth. so I've been aware of it for awhile. When pregnant with DS1 I decided to go the hospital route because I figured that as a physician I'd be able to avoid unnecessary interventions easily. However, the further along in the pregnancy I progressed the more uneasy I became. I ended up switching care to midwives at a birth center at 37 weeks. I had a super-fast, uncomplicated birth and my midwives were fabulous.. Fast-forward 2 years I found out that I was pregnant with DS2. I immediately called my midwife at the birth center from before. She remembered how fast I went the first time and said "Congratulations! So ya wanna have a home birth this time?" I immediately said "Yes." I had a beautiful pregnancy.
I just had my baby last Friday and had a fabulous home birth experience. It was absolutely one of the most peaceful, beautiful things that I've ever experienced. I can't imagine doing it any other way (and I loved my birth center birth). Nothing can compare.

[gfreelishy]

Originally Posted by tygrss

Well, when I was a medical student on my OB rotation one of the OB residents planned and had a home birth. so I've been aware of it for awhile. When pregnant with DS1 I decided to go the hospital route because I figured that as a physician I'd be able to avoid unnecessary interventions easily. However, the further along in the pregnancy I progressed the more uneasy I became. I ended up switching care to midwives at a birth center at 37 weeks. I had a super-fast, uncomplicated birth and my midwives were fabulous.. Fast-forward 2 years I found out that I was pregnant with DS2. I immediately called my midwife at the birth center from before. She remembered how fast I went the first time and said "Congratulations! So ya wanna have a home birth this time?" I immediately said "Yes." I had a beautiful pregnancy.
I just had my baby last Friday and had a fabulous home birth experience. It was absolutely one of the most peaceful, beautiful things that I've ever experienced. I can't imagine doing it any other way (and I loved my birth center birth). Nothing can compare.

Awww!!!!! What a great story. So glad you had such a peaceful, beauitful experience!!!