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When did you know you wanted a homebirth? - Page 3

post #41 of 55
I decided to HB several weeks into my first pregnancy. I was going to use a CNM who only delivered in the hospital, but I just became increasingly freaked out by the thought of having my baby in that dirty place. I knew that she would keep any unnecessary interventions away, but I have only seen bad things happen in hospitals - mainly people I loved dying. Then you're always hearing about all the scary germs in hospitals, etc. I just couldn't do it. She referred me to my current homebirth midwife and we totally hit it off - I had a wonderful homebirth with DS and I hope that I can be so lucky this time around.
I shouldn't totally dis hospitals - they did save me when I had a scarlet fever (yes, as an adult, I got it- thank you strep A) and pneumonia after an overseas trip. They're great when you need them.
post #42 of 55
I am more similar to the OP, in that I constantly have had people looking at my the past few years wondering, "Why the heck does she already have a semi-formed birth plan?" lol.

Anyways, I had always been interested in obstetrics, but a lot less interested in babies themselves, so never went into the field lol. When I came up to a new city for university, I came across the lil' magazine called Birth Issues. I came online learned more about homebirth, specifically water birth. I decided I definitely wanted a homebirth when I heard about waterbirthing. Whenever I am sick or in pain or in need of a lil' relaxation, I head straight for the bathtub. It heals me :-D!

I then found Mothering and The Business of Being Born, both of which took my conviction to have a homebirth and stepped it up to a conviction that most hospital births were done all wrong... at least in the US. I never thought here in Alberta they could have crazy high c-section rates. After all, we even have one hospital outside my city that works with midwives!

However, I then was taking a human sexuality course and a nurse came in who mentioned the c-section rate of Edmonton hospitals. It was something insanely high.... I can't remember what it was, but I was just shocked.


I am now married, and as you may have guessed, my husband didn't really know much about birth. Can't really blame the guy, as his closest sister had three basically non-medicated births in the hospital setting without complications.

However, I never really had to "convince" him about homebirth. He was nervous about the idea at first (I am a major wimp, and he has seen me when I am in pain due to some lovely gall bladder attacks lol) and wasn't sure it would work. Now he wants to give it a try, at the very least because so many of our friends have recently had c-sections. It is hard to believe that some many healthy women in their twenties would actually *need* c-secs.
post #43 of 55
I can't pinpoint the exact moment when I knew, but it came on gradually between when I was 13 and when I was 25.

I grew up with a very crunchy mom... she breastfed us until age 2, didn't vaccinate, never took us to doctors or gave us medication, and we always ate super healthy food that my friends thought was wierd and gross. So I have always been kind of anti-hospitals/doctors/drugs etc. However my mom gave birth to all 4 of us in the hospital.

I remember when I was 13 or so hearing my mom talking to one of her friends about a home birth that the friend had. That was the first time I ever heard of the idea and I remember being surprised at the time that my mom hadn't done it because she was so crunchy about everything else!

I've been really looking forward to having babies for a long time... it started when I was 8 and my youngest sister was born. For years after that I kept begging my mom to have another kid so we could have more babies around. When I was 18 I caught the baby bug for real but I wasn't in a serious relationship at the time. Finally when I was 23 I met my DP, and when I was 25 we moved in together and I started really obsessing about babies cause I could definitely see myself having kids with him!

That is when I started reading every single book about childbirth I could get my hands on and that is when it became obvious to me that I really wanted a homebirth.

I also have a cousin who is a doula and studying to be a midwife and as part of her training has been to births both at home and in the hospital and says she would choose a home birth hands down (though due to circumstances none of her 3 births so far have been at home).

I am now 28 and DP and I are getting married this summer and I have convinced him to start TTC as soon as we get married (well more accurately he has convinced me we should wait until after the wedding)! I have talked to DP a lot about homebirth, but he is not 100% convinced. He is a pharmacist (talk about opposites attracting as I really avoid medication) and there are a lot of doctors in his family, he has never known anyone before me who questioned the medical establishment and he always thought those people were crazy hippies. Anyways it may not even be an issue as there is a huge waiting list for midwives here and not everyone gets a spot so I may end up giving birth in the hospital after all. But in the event that I do need to convince him I plan to rely on all those studies out there that prove that homebirth is safe.
post #44 of 55
I switched to a HB at 30 weeks with my first pregnancy. I was previously seeing some CNMs in the only hospital in town, but my Bradley class convinced me there were other options. I didn't even think about home birth before that! Switching was great, even that late in the game.

Now that I'm pregnant again (28 weeks), we've been signed up for a HB all along.
post #45 of 55
I had thought about it when pregnant w/DD (now 1.) I dismissed it b/c I don't think of this house as my "forever home," and thought I might not be comfortable, and DH wasn't...

Then DD was given formula- twice- in the nursery, when her bassinet had a "Breast Only" card taped to it, and was being nursed frequently by me. There was no reason for it. I had asked for my baby to room in, and she did, except for the 5 hours both nights that she just "had" to be in the nursery...

Finally, I had to fight to get her released w/a little physiologic jaundice. They wanted to keep her another day under the lights, and give formula. My milk was in by then and I cried as I fed her a 3rd ounce of formula since her birth, b/c the pediatrician didn't want to let her go without it. I feel very, very lucky that she still nursed well, even w/those bottles.

Never again!
post #46 of 55
In 1977 I discovered I was expecting our first child. I have always researched things I was learning(gardening, homesteading, etc) so the library was where I first saw Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin. I inquired about a homebirth then, and my doc looked at me like I was nuts. I obediently(sort of ) had a fast hospital birth. Walked in, and 4.5 hrs later I was holding my baby, and she had bruises on her face to prove it. But in my heart, I said I would NOT do that again in a hospital. I still ended up with interventions I knew i didn't need (enema, shave,(yes, they still did that then) and they hadn't gotten around to using Electronic Fetal Monitoring on everybody yet. But I still wonder if they gave me pit, after they broke my water.
Anyway, 3 years later, at 5.5 months I found a midwife thru some church friends, and had my wonderful, FAST(2.5 hrs) homebirth, and it set me on the path toward more holistic health, including becoming a midwife myself, to be able to offer better choices for more women! Homebirth ROCKS! (and thank you to all the midwives who have gone before, to light the way!)
post #47 of 55
I decided around 16 weeks (this is my first pregnancy) that I REALLY did not want to be in a hospital. I know my personality and I know that I would be really uncomfortable in that type of setting. My husband took some convincing though. I think he thought I was crazy for considering it. But after presenting him with some studies and statistics and watching a few videos he was more open and willing to meet with a homebirth midwife. When we first met with the midwife (around 25 weeks I believe) he was able to ask every question he had and get some honest answers. I think he was expecting the midwife to be a crazy hippy but when he saw how intelligent and open and honest she was he was onboard pretty much immediately. Now he says he can't imagine going about birth any other way.

That said I had been thinking about homebirth for awhile (it took us 3.5 years to get pregnant) but I never thought DH would go for it, I am so happy he decided to have an open mind and honestly look at other options.
post #48 of 55
For me it was when i was about 7-8weeks pregnant with my dd chloe i remember reading a book about births and it was saying how much nicer and calmer homebirths where and it described hospital births as bright and noisey not nice at all, also i remember having to go into hospital quite a few times when i was younger for various things and i really find it hard to get past the notion that hospital are for people who are sick or injured and to me labour falls into neither of these 2.
post #49 of 55
After having two hospital births I decided that I wanted to have my next baby at home. I knew that I could trust my body and the thought of going to a hosptial just made me feel uneasy.

It was the best birth experience I ever had .
post #50 of 55
Before I had kids, I had heard about homebirth, but didn't want one. I did want a natural birth and had no clue that the hospital would make that difficult. My first birth was "an experience". But, I didn't think much of it. When I pg with my second, I suddenly became very upset at the prospect of going through it again. So, I read everything I could and wanted a hb. DH was NOT on board. Our compromise was a midwife at a stand alone (no ob in sight) clinic. The group delivered at a local hospital (same one actually as dd1). Anyways, they were completely awesome! They loved that I came to them instead of one of the ob clinics that have a mw on staff because I wanted a "real midwife". Most their clients were on assistance and weren't there because they wanted a natural birth. My dh was telling everyone afterwards about how much better mw care was, etc. So, that birth was phenomenal. I was more irritated with my mother than anything else. So, then I pg with #3. I told dh that unless there were complications, that the baby would be delivered at home. I think the smooth birth with midwives from before helped him accept this. He is however, more comfortable in a hospital. So, baby #3 was born at home. My specific reasons were revolved around the fact that I didn't want to be required to "stay" at the hospital again when I was done. I also wanted a water birth. (That didn't happen, but I did enjoy laboring in the large birthing tub). I also wanted my mom to have nothing to do but stay at her own home. I didn't want her watching the older ones, because the last time she didn't feel it was necessary to bring dd1 to the hospital until MANY HOURS after the baby was born. So, my kids were there, my closest friends were there, my dh, mw, and her assistant. It was great.

post #51 of 55
Before having kids I thought it would be kinda nice to give birth off in the middle of nowhere. When DH and I were dating I saw a history channel thing on ghengis khan or something with a scene of bringing the baby out of the birthing tent and thought wow wouldn't that be cool, to avoid all the scary doctor stuff and have a baby. That same night, before I'd mentioned this, my future DH had a dream we were at an event, camping, I was pregnant and I went into labor and this lady he knows acted as midwife and I gave birth in a tent. We ended up discussing it and thought out-of-hospital birth would really be awesome, though literally in a tent would be awfully uncomfortable.

Fast forward 2 years, we were married and I got pregnant with our first. I knew women had natural births and I'd want that. I can't stand treating symptoms of anything just to drown them out especially when they have purpose. Plus neither DH or I trust doctors and allopathic medicine much. No birth centers here or I would have considered that. I bought insurance just to pay for an OB so no switching to a midwife (those aren't covered here, not licensed). But I read Laura Shanley's UC site and found out people just gave birth alone sometimes and it was generally safe. We learned the process of birth, variations and complications, things to correct stuff that could happen, signs of real problems to transfer for, and planned to just stay home and let it happen so long as no issues arose. Well it turns out I have long, long early labors and intense urge to push before second stage. That was enough to send us seeking reassurance, and I birthed DS1 "naturally" in the hospital.

Second child I had crummy insurance through DH's work and no desire to buy anything the hospital was selling, so we hired a midwife, paid out of pocket. Totally laid back, knowledgeable and intelligent, friendly, tiny woman, almost as young as me. Perfect kind of person to reassure me without being the least bit overbearing. We were completely informed so basically she just agreed with us and backed us up, checked on my health and DS2's prenatally and through labor and after. The pregnancy just happened, labor just happened, again drawn out and the end was again extremely intense, but everything was perfect anyhow.
post #52 of 55
The seed was planted when I first saw the business of being born, about 2 years ago. Midwives weren't covered where I am at that time, and I had no problem in my mind with delivering at the hospital. I was supposedly with a very natural birth friendly doctor, had a doula, and a birthing pool for labour. Then I ended up with a c-section after the cascade of interventions and failure to descend/progress. So in my pursuit of a VBAC, I did a ton of research and decided my best odds for success and a healing birth experience were with a homebirth, which will hopefully happen next month! I'm slightly terrified it won't work out, but for the most part i'm excited!
post #53 of 55
I knew I wanted a homebirth when my mom birthed #8. She transferred for stitches and we held the baby at home...let's see that means I was....14 I think. She was so adorable.

Then I really really knew I was going to birth at home when I was more involved in her last birth. I was 19 and present during labor. My dad went to wash his hands and I was at my mom's side when the baby of the family came flying out. She had a little squished noise b/c she came out so fast. Just watching my mom catch her baby and the love in the silence of that morning was precious to me.
post #54 of 55
After I had my DD in a hospital and all I wanted the whole time while in the hospital was to be home... I started researching homebirth a lot after she was born in hopes that one day if I was blessed with a nother little one, I'd do things differently and birth at home. So here's hoping.
post #55 of 55
HB never even occured to me until I found this community. By then I had my second son (in the hospital) and I knew that DX and I were done having kids. Even if we weren't he would not be supportive of a HB so it wouldn't happen anyway. then when I got with DP and we got PG I knew I was having a HB, he was born at home so he was very supportive of it although he wasn't so sure about a UC yet. It didn't take long for him to be comfortable with that idea either.

I hated being in the hospital, they made us stay for 3 days both times and it totally sucked.
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