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Would you use this name?

post #1 of 40
Thread Starter 
I put this here since I'm more interested in the reasons why/why not and the debate itself, than whether it's a good name.

Feel free to insert your own personal favorite boys' name if you don't like the one I'm talking about.

Several members of your family (though further back than anyone currently living) share the name Sebastian. Your husband also chose Sebastian as his confirmation name years ago. Your SIL considered it when she was having a son, but chose another name, mostly because of pressure from her own ILs. Your BIL named his second son Sebastian. We've pretty much established that everybody likes Sebastian, but it's taken now, right?

What if your BIL doesn't call his son Sebastian? He is addressed exclusively by his middle name, which is unrelated and sounds very different. His first name is used only on official documents.

Would you consider naming a hypothetical future son Sebastian? What if they attended different schools, lived in different towns (nearby though, and many people would know both), had different last names, and only saw each other on birthdays/holidays? What if you were finding it near impossible to agree on another name? If not, would it be more acceptable to use as a middle name?

We debated this for months since we didn't know what we were having! And I'm sure we'll debate it again someday.
post #2 of 40
we considered sebastian- DH's grandfather's name.

In your situation, yes, I would use it.
post #3 of 40
yeah, i would. a family name can be used more than once per generation, especially when the other one goes by his middle name. we have cousins both named kenneth: one is kenny, the other goes by his middle name. also, i have friends who are first cousins, both named ryan, went to school together in the same grade and everything! (different last names though.) i sometimes wonder what their parents were thinking, but the ryans didn't seem to mind.

eta: sil had a name chosen for her second child, if it was a girl, but it was a boy. when her sister got pg with a girl, she convinced her to use that name because she wanted *someone* in the family to use it!
post #4 of 40
Yes, I would use it, if that's the name I liked. I probably wouldn't if a close family member or friend used the same name and they lived nearby and we saw them frequently.

OTOH, we chose a fairly popular name for our dd, and we knew it was likely that there would eventually be some other girl with the same name in her life, even if we didn't know anyone at the time. Sure enough, her BFF has the same name, and they go through life being called "Firstname Lastname" or "Firstname Surname Initial" by everyone - including me and the other mom when they are together.

If you really like it and it's agreeable to your partner too, I would go ahead and use it.
post #5 of 40
I have a Sebastian in my life. It's a good name.
post #6 of 40
The names Joseph, Matthew and Donald are used by several men and boys in my husbands family. There are currently 4 Donalds - Don, D. Mark, Jared D. and DJ (Donald Joseph, but goes exclusively by his initials).

I would definitely use it if I loved it.
post #7 of 40
Yes, I would use it. Since it's so ubiquitous in your family, I don't see it as being "taken," I see it as upholding the family tradition to use it.

ETA: I don't really get the whole "taken" name thing though. I honestly wouldn't care if a close friend or family member used the same name for their kids that we used for ours -- it wouldn't diminish my kid in any way, you know?
post #8 of 40
Yes I would use it, I don't think its a big deal. I have a Sebastian, it is a pretty great name
post #9 of 40
Yes, I would use it. Especially as it is a family name.

My husband and my brother have the same first and middle name. The names go back several generations on both mine and my DH's family tree. We didn't feel that anyone had a greater claim on the name, so guess what? Both my son and my nephew have the same name and they go by the same nickname. If my sister has a boy, chances are she will use one of the names. Same goes for my SIL. I think it is a wonderful tradition that the kids will all be able to share.
post #10 of 40
Sure, I'd use it under those circumstances. A family name will often be used by more than one cousin.

My dh had one sister and only 2 female cousins (close...growing up together on the same block). Not using their real names, the pattern is: Margaret, Christina, and Margaret Christina + same last name. Obviously no one considered the names "taken"!
post #11 of 40
I wouldn't use it. i don't even like Junior-ing, and the idea of repeating a name when there are so many other great choices just doesn't work for me.

I have a cousin with the same name as me (first and last). We never see each other, but it can be confusing when people google us (we're both writers, too). I've had people add me on facebook thinking I was her, received emails that were meant for her, etc. Nothing that's a big deal, but SO unnecessary. Her parents didn't have to use a name that was already in use in the family.

Sebastian is a great name -- I really like it on its own. But personally, enough is enough, and I wouldn't use it if so many others in my or my partner's family were using it.
post #12 of 40
Given the information provided, I would use the name.
post #13 of 40
I would.
We have three cousins right now that have a variation of the same name, ages 16, 12 and 5. One is Alexander (who is called Alex) One is named Alex, not shortened and one is called Alec. Doesn't bother me in the least. They all have different surnames.
post #14 of 40
I'm of the "you shoudl use whatever name you like, regardless of every single other family in existence has used that name fo rtheir child"
Having a family member, or friend, name their child a name doesn't mean that name is "taken". They don't "own" it. Thats just insane. If you like it, use it. If you dont like it, don't use it.
The only exception to that rule is if a childs own sibling also has that name. (a la george foreman, lol) I don't think 2 brothers should both be named "jack" for example. thats just lame. But any relation less than actual sibling is fine.
post #15 of 40
Yes, I would definitely be willing to use it under those circumstances. My parents avoided a family name because a cousin, born just months before my brother, got it. We NEVER see that cousin. I wouldn't recognize him if he knocked on my front door. Even if it's a close family, since the other child goes by his middle name, I think you are fine to use it. If you are worried about it, you could ask the BIL if he would mind.

Oh, and Sebastian is a great name!

post #16 of 40
I wouldn't, personally, but it's totally up to you
post #17 of 40
[QUOTE=Jessy1019;15021744]I wouldn't use it. i don't even like Junior-ing, and the idea of repeating a name when there are so many other great choices just doesn't work for me. /QUOTE]

I feel the same way. Use another name and if you must.... stick Sebastian in as the middle name.
post #18 of 40
Sure, if that's the name you like and want to give your (hypothetical) ds.

Of course in the name of full disclosure, both of my little brothers are named Robert. Robert Glenn is called Glenn and Robert William is called Bobby. We also have an Uncle Bobby and our grandfather is Glenn.

I'm Kristina called Kristy and so is my aunt.

Also my cousin and I both have daughters named Katherine and called Katie though there is a big age difference. My Katie is nearly 2 while my cousin's Katie is in college.

Originally Posted by doubledutch View Post
eta: sil had a name chosen for her second child, if it was a girl, but it was a boy. when her sister got pg with a girl, she convinced her to use that name because she wanted *someone* in the family to use it!
That's how my sister got her first name. My dad's brother had all boys and loved the name Wendy. So my parents used the name for my sister.
post #19 of 40
i need opinions on this too- and it's a pretty similar situation..

for us, it's the first name of my fil, and the middle name of ds1 and my bil.. but the only other name dh and i agree on is "Simon"

really don't know what to do..
post #20 of 40
Yes, I would use it.
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