keeping his glasses on his face

[JollyGG]

We are having a real problem with our son coming home from school without his glasses. He will be seven in April. He has a correctable eye condition that requires glasses. He got the glasses nine months ago due some headaches and eye strain he was experiencing. If her wears his glasses consistently we have a good chance of correcting the eye issue and not requiring glasses after a couple of years. If we don't get it corrected the condition will become permanent and he will likely require glasses the rest of his life. The first several months he had the glasses he did really well with wearing them and taking good care of them.

This summer he lost his glasses in August and we replaced them. Covering the whole cost of the new glasses as our warranty covers repair, but not loss. Since early summer we have had continued problems with him not wearing them consistently and him losing them.

We have explained the fact that with consistent wear the glasses are only for a couple of years and without consistent wear could be permanent.

We have explained to him that they are costly to replace and we would honestly rather he risked them getting broken than lost due to the warranty.

We have reiterated time and time again that his glasses belong on his face and then if he is sleeping or bathing or otherwise not wearing them (gym teacher won't let him wear them in gym class, whatever) they are to be in there case.

I will admit that my husband who wears glasses does not take as good of care of his glasses as I would like either. However, when I point out to my husband that he isn't the best role model of good glass care he honestly doesn't see what I'm talking about. He basically sees that he's never completely lost a pair or lost a pair for more than a coup;e of hours as evidence that he is a not part of the problem. It's a battle I don't feel I will win. He really doesn't see where he is careless with his glasses as well sometimes.

I'm at the point where I don't know what to do.

Nothing is getting through to my son.

He needs to wear his glasses. However, I can't go to school with him and make sure he keeps them on and ensure he puts them back on if they are removed. He's in second grade so this is something the teacher really considers his responsibility not hers. If they don't come home from school with him I can't go and get them as I'm not home until after 5pm (I WOH).

Please give me some ideas to help him take more responsibility for his glasses and making sure he is wearing them consistently.

[MusicianDad]

My first thought is that there is something about the new glasses that make them unpleasant to wear. I say this because he had no problem with keeping the first pair of glasses on, but had a problem with the second pair right from the start.

I would start by asking him why he doesn't wear them all the time.

I'd also ask the gym teacher why he's not allowed to wear glasses in gym, but that would be a different thread.

[JollyGG]

He lost the old pair the weekend before school started. So I think most of the issue with the new pair vs old pair is a different routine. He got the old pair in May, only a couple of weeks before school let out.

That's not saying I think the problem is school, just saying that the problem is probably in part due to a new routine.

He does not report them being uncomfortable and we are sure to get them adjusted frequently to make sure they aren't slipping down, sitting funny on the ears, whatever.

I will ask him about the comfort of the glasses however.

I may also need to figure something out about working his glasses into his routine better. Though to me, someone who admittedly doesn't wear glasses, it seems like once they are on they should stay on unless there is a reason to remove them so his daytime routine shouldn't matter. But maybe we need to work out someplace more visual to put them such as in the case on top of his desk vs. in his desk when he goes to gym, or some other way to make putting them back on his face when they come off more into his routine.

I appreciate the suggestion.

[One_Girl]

Would the teacher be willing to make sure he keeps his glasses on when she notices they are off? She may be more willing to if you get a doctors note and explain to her that this is only a temporary thing that can be corrected with the glasses. If you get a doctor's note and ask the nurse to check in on him a few times a week to make sure the glasses are on, or mention to the teacher that you are going to do this since he is having such a hard time and you don't want his eye condition to be permanent just because he is seven and forgetful sometimes, you may find that his teacher is much more willing to help him get into the routine of the new glasses.

[Ravenlunatic]

I have worn my glasses all of my life since 4 years old. My insight, and of coarse I don't really remember my thoughts at 7 years old, but...

The glasses are being ditched because of school.

Did your son lose his glasses deliberately? I am in no way suggesting that your child is a bad kid. He is an innocent child that doesn't really understand all that is going on, he may be reacting to his emotions stronger in the case of his glasses. He may confused about wanting to please his parents and not wanting to be teased (oh yes, all the time by some) at school. I mean really confused.

I think it is too much for you to burden him with adult notions of the worth of the glasses and future prospect of wearing glasses 'forever'. (I actually don't know if I am correct about this, but even if he does understand all of the implications it is just complicating the situation for him.) Speak to him in terms that speak to him.

If you wear your glasses all day and have them in your possession when you leave school you will get... pick a point system or a favorite movie or extra media time or money.

If you lose your glasses you have to do this.... If you don't wear your glasses you lose this or have to do that.

Make it simple and to the point. Reward him big when he succeeds. Wearing glasses sucks and sucks big time.

YOur DH must set a perfect example at this point, but of coarse you can't make him so you will also have to do a little letting go here. With your son too if he doesn't comply.

[Ornery]

My oldest son started wearing glasses in the 2nd grade. It was a really tough transition for him. I would agree exploring the notion that your son might be taking off his glasses due to peer influence. My son had a lot of teasing that happened and I had to work with him on a daily basis about how to respond. We did a lot of role playing and that seemed to work. We also went to the school counselor about a few specific kids who were constant bullies and they and my son did friendship class for awhile. It really worked.

For us, once the glasses went on in the morning, they did not come off. Not for recess, not for bathroom breaks, nothing. I was an extremely low income single young mother with no insurance. I simply did not have the money to replace lost glasses. It is really easy to set a pair of glasses down and forget them.

I would probably approach the gym teacher and make sure he/she understands that my child is required to wear the glasses at all times. My son is very active in sports and he still wore his glasses at all times. He now wears contacts which makes it much easier but he has played baseball, football and soccer with glasses. I would make sure there is no excuse for my son to be removing his glasses and then I would enforce the expectation that he keeps his glasses on his face at all times. How you enforce that is up to your parenting style and your son's temperment.

[JollyGG]

I emailed his teacher letting her know why he wears his glasses and letting her know that I will be sending his glasses case into school. If he absolutely must take his glasses off I let her know he is supposed to put the glasses in the case on top of his desk so that he sees them and remembers to put them back on.

Tomorrow my husband will take him in and get the glasses adjusted and buy a strap for the back so he doesn't deal with the glasses slipping during running in gym and yoga.

I have asked him about teasing and he says that there isn't any.

I have parent/teacher conferences next week I'll ask his teacher then if she's noticed any teasing and ask her if she has any additional ideas.

My husband and I did give my son permission to call dad on not wearing his glasses if he isn't wearing them anywhere other than bed or shower.

[eepster]

I've had various glasses at various stages of my life, what has always influenced me the most to either take them off or leave them on was whether they actually helped me see or if they hindered seeing.

When I was a young child, I wore glasses for a lazy eye. I hated wearing these, and took them off any chance I got. They are designed to blur the strong eye in hopes of making the weak/lazy eye work harder. They were especially annoying at school since I needed to see things like th black board.

Later I got glasses to correct my fairly slight nearsightedness. I wore these happily at first, but when they were dirty and started to get scratched (tiny micro scratches build up especially if one cleans them with tissues) the improvement in focus didn't make up for the over all cloudiness.

Later my near sightedness became worse and I learned to clean my lenses properly, so I happily wore my glasses all the time.

For a while I tried bi-focals, but they just drove me batty, so I just take my glasses off if I want to read.


What kind of glasses are they?

[JollyGG]

Originally Posted by eepster

What kind of glasses are they?

He wears them for a pseudo myopia. The correction is small. So there isn't a huge difference in the way he sees with or without the glasses. We got the glasses because the pseudo myopia was causing eye pain and headaches.