should we do the "scheduling" thing?

[hildare]

Hi, wise mamas:
DD is 3 mos. and is now going to work with DH. He's a little overwhelmed as I had been home with dd and fed on demand, let her nap whenever, etc.
She's not napping for him very well and she's seriously cranky. I have no idea how to go about scheduling or how that would even work, and was wondering if that would make transitions easier for her, to have some framework of a routine to help.. DH is pretty good with reading her signs of hunger, etc. so I think that's going ok.
I don't know, do other people have a schedule during the day for one that little? How does it work? Is that considered non-AP?
many thanks!

[lifeguard]

Some babies do respond well to a loose schedule, others do not. I think you could certainly try creating a bit more of a routine & see how it goes.

For my ds, even now at 15 mos, it never worked so try not to get too upset if she doesn't go for it.

[odoole]

I don't think a sleep schedule is non-AP, and I think it is essential for some babies to be well-rested and happy. (Food schedule, on the other hand ... don't see the point of that.)

3 months is a tad young, but you could try. Just don't stress over it too much, because she is changing so much at that age, once you get it down, it'll change somehow ...

I found a schedule was pretty essential for DS once he hit 5 months. It was mostly for my sake to make sure he was getting enough sleep. It's easy to miss their sleepy cues and then for it to culminate into a meltdown that evening or the next. Sometimes sleep deprivation doesn't hit until a couple days later, at which point it can be impossible to get them to go to sleep (despite the fact that they are desperately tired -- the more they're tired, the more they fight sleep). This happened to us during the holidays and also recently during a hospital stay. A couple days worth of missed naps totally changed the personality of my normally very sweet boy, and it took a few days to correct after it happened. So a sleep schedule can prevent that from happening.

[marispel]

Our DS did GREAT on a schedule and it made our life so much easier too. Here was our typical day:

7am - wake up, bottle and play time
9am - nap time for 2 hrs
11 am - wake up bottle and play time
1 pm - naptime for 2 hrs
3 pm wake up, bottle & play time
5 pm - cat nap for 1/2-1 hr
6pm - bottle & play time
8pm bath routine
8:30 - bottle and bed

Around 5-6 months old he dropped the catnap in the late afternoon and we pushed up the bathtime to 7:30.

He kept 2 naps until 14 months old and then went to an afternoon nap only at 12:00 until 2 or 3pm.

[Mal85]

When DD was that young, we didn't necessarily implement a schedule, but she kind of led us into one. I started to notice that she could handle being awake roughly 2 hours at a time. So she'd wake in the morning, whatever time that was, later on the weekends and earlier during the week. She'd be awake two hours, nurse and play then go back to sleep for 2-3 hours. Same thing after she woke up. In the evening, she took a small cat nap and went to bed for the night around 8:30-9.

Now, at 11 months old she stays awake about 2 hours in the morning, sleeps about 1.5 hours. Wakes for playtime, lunch, nursing and is awake around 3 hours then takes another 1-1.5 hour nap. She has dropped the evening nap and her bedtime has pushed up to 7:30-8 (unless we're out of the house and she's more stimulated then she can handle staying up a little later). On the weekends, we get out quite a bit and she often only takes one nap on those days, shortly after lunch and will sleep 2 hours or so.

I certainly don't think it's non-AP to follow your babies cues for when she's tired. You'll likely start to see a pattern and can flow with that.

[akind1]

DS is 11 weeks, so nearly the same age as your LO. like Mallory, he kind of led us into a schedule:

6-7 AM wake up eat
7-9 sleeps (sometimes he plays for an hour, but usually goes back to sleep)
9 AM eats
9:30 -11 play time
11-12 nap
12 - eats
12:30 - 2 PM - plays
2-3 naps
3 pm - eats
3:30 - 5 plays
5-6 naps
6 eats (you kind of get the picture) the cycle continues until 11 or 12 when he eats one last time before going down for the night, and he'll sleep until 6 or so. Granted, this works best when I am home, but when DH stays with him all day I think he probably naps more, because DH does.

- HTH

[hildare]

thanks!

thanks you guys! looking at your schedules is really helpful.
i think we may give this a go, i am thinking her erratic behavior of the last two days is linked to missing some sleep.

[Llyra]

Our rule at that age, with all my kids, was that baby should be ready for a nap about 90 minutes after waking up, except for one longer stretch in the evening of about 2 hours. I found that if we kept them up longer, they got overstimulated and then couldn't fall asleep at all, and that made for some seriously cranky days. So it's more of a loose routine then a schedule, but it might be a helpful benchmark for judging when to place naptimes.

I don't think there's anything about a napping schedule that's anti-AP, so long as a baby's needs are being met, and you or your caregiver are staying tuned in to how those needs might be changing as baby gets older.

[emmaegbert]

I agree with above. If your DH can find ways to help signal baby that its time to go to sleep, he might find its very effective to do that about 1.5-3 hours after baby wakes up (depending on baby and age of baby). If it was me, I would tell my DH to look at the clock whenever baby wakes up, and try to start a sleep routine about 1.5/2 hours later. Then adjust timing to suit baby's needs.

We have the issue that baby doesn't really think other people can put her to sleep, she'll "tell" them that she's tired, (crawl to them, ask to be picked up, put her head down) but has a hard time settling if its not me. She's older though!

I think if papa can get a very simple routine that works w/ baby's sleep needs, it will be very good for them. So, papa figures out when baby is tired but before baby gets OVERtired, and baby learns that swaddle/baby carrier + paci/bottle/singing/whatever is comforting + rocking/walking/movement = sleep time.

Too bad my DH didn't get the chance to be with our DD much when she was that small.

GL! Baby will settle into a good pattern with dad.

[Abraisme]

Originally Posted by Llyra

Our rule at that age, with all my kids, was that baby should be ready for a nap about 90 minutes after waking up, except for one longer stretch in the evening of about 2 hours. I found that if we kept them up longer, they got overstimulated and then couldn't fall asleep at all, and that made for some seriously cranky days. So it's more of a loose routine then a schedule, but it might be a helpful benchmark for judging when to place naptimes.

I don't think there's anything about a napping schedule that's anti-AP, so long as a baby's needs are being met, and you or your caregiver are staying tuned in to how those needs might be changing as baby gets older.