I don't know, I'm really torn right now. Part of me LOVES being a Mother, it is like my life calling but the other part is like...that's it? You are just a Mom?
I already had a career. A really good one.
Now, I guess I just don't really think about it. But I still do a lot of non-mom (albeit non-paying) "stuff". When my son was special needs, the management of his care, therapies, etc. provided me with a lot of mental gymnastics. But now that my kids don't require that level of juggling or "work", I definitely seek it out elsewhere.
Here's my story: I married after college, but didn't have children until my 30s. So, I built a pretty decent career in all those years and worked long hours. My pay check was always pretty close to 50% of our income, but we were very smart and frugal with money.
So we were able to save up a nest egg that allowed me to stay home for a couple of years after having a child.
But some people took advantage of us, the economy sort of went south, and DH never really wanted to be a sole provider long term...so when the funds became lower, I didn't have much choice, and I went back to work.
Also, my marriage became something I never imagined. See, if you and your husband don't agree on things as simple as whether one wants to be a sole provider and one wants to be a SAHP for a while you probably disagree on other things too (values, how to spend time, equal parenting duties, discipline, attachment parenting). When we had a child, DH and I started to disagree about a lot of things, and I really started to see his use of harsh and swear words sort of inappropriate.
Anyway, working with children?? Hard! My husband sort of helps out, but really not much has changed in his world and habits, and I have to ask for every little thing and schedule his help way in advance, and I get tired of juggling everything.
And I'm not entirely convinced that this arrangement is the best.
I have a lot of self-doubt about it, and I hope that 20 years from now, I don't come to realize that juggling work and child rearing was a huge mistake and I should have been a SAHM.
But then I might end up divorced, or my husband could have a career change, especially in this economy, and I'll be happy in that event that I have a career to keep me going.
And sometimes I'm really inspired by my career, and love it, but really not enough to make all the struggle worth it.
It's so hard. It's really exhausting.