Almost 2 hits and pushes other children all the time.

[cherubf]

I have 2 boys and have another child due at the end f July but am having issues with DS#2 who will be 2 on March 12th.
He constantly hits and pushes other children - usually for no reason at all. He just goes up to them and whacks them on the head or pushes them - or snatches toys. It's the hitting and pushing that really concerns me. Unfortunately he had some "rough" treatment at times (pushing or hitting) from DS#1 and I fear that he's getting his own back - or at least that's where he's learnt it.
People have said to me it's his way of communicating - but most of the time I cannot see that. He seems to want to deliberately antagonise other children (usually kids his own age but he will try to hit kids 2 years older than him!)
I have tried time-out but it doesn't seem to be doing anything. I get down to his level to say that it's not nice to hit/push, you made "him" or "her" cry, you hurt them etc....
It's getting to the point where I don't even want to mix him with other children as the other kids are nervous of him.
He's such a nice little boy, loving, affectionate but he's just developed this very annoying thing and I want to nip it in the bud now.
Thanks for any suggestions.

[Snapdragon]

Do you have somewhere you can bring him to chanel that hitting energy somewhere where it was acceptable? Maybe he just has a brute stregth that he wants to get out- so some form of martial art or something? Or is he too young for that, maybe. I think just finding somewhere else for him to put that energy where it was okay to use it in a controlled environment- a sport or martial art.

[cherubf]

I think he's too young for that - he's not even 2 yet. There wouldn't be anything for kids that young where I live. He does love hitting a ball around with a plastic golf club - but he gets plenty of that. I kind of wish the other kids would hit him back and give him a bit of a shock and perhaps he'd stop (is that wrong?!) They just cry and that seems to be the reaction he likes!

[cherubf]

bump - any other suggestions?

[BetsyNY]

He's a baby, really. If it's that severe of a problem, you might have to just lay low for a while. Or be right on top of him in situations where there are other kids around, so you can intervene before he hurts someone. If that's not feasible, skip situations where there are going to be lots of other kids around and stick to smaller playdates with just one or two kids.

The idea that you can "nip it in the bud" is a misconception; plenty of kids at about his age go through a hitting phase.

[Tjej]

Emphasize being "gentle". Have him stroke them gently with his hand. Don't let him play with hard/dangerous objects around kids.

My son was like this and as he gets older it gets a lot better. The big thing in this is YOU. You have to be totally on your toes all the time when he is around other kids and see what he is thinking before he thinks it. If my son had a hard object in his hands I was there instantly - first saying "gentle" and then my body was right there beside him getting him to use the toy properly.

I also sit eye-to-eye with him say "be gentle", get him to say "be gentle" and then go say "sorry" to the person he has injured (or tried to injure - it's about intent, right?). Some people don't do the forced apologies here, but that is one tool I have used and I think it does help him understand that it hurts others and it recognizes the other person's feelings.

My son is really sweet too. He really just likes to hit things and throw. At least in our case I don't think he was trying to hurt others, but he sure was trying to clock them as hard as he could with things or throw just about anything at their heads.

It gets better, and it is totally exhuasting for a little while. Giving him good ideas for things to do helps keep him from coming up with his own creative (and dangerous) ideas. I don't micromanage, but I do watch like a hawk around other kids (especially smaller ones or ones I know he has experimented on before).

Like I said it is much better now (2 years 1 1/2 months), and after months of intervening I rarely have to anymore.

Tjej