one child with autism = 90% divorce rate in parents?

[flowmom]

If you have ONE child with autism you are 90% likely to divorce.

Really?? Anyone have a more credible link for this statistic?

[joensally]

I did some light googling. Found a number of posts from people claiming to have PhDs stating that there is actually no data that can solidly back this claim. Also this:
http://www.opposingviews.com/i/what-...utism-families

search terms:
special needs child + divorce rate
autistic child + divorce rate

[flowmom]

Thanks joensally, I'm embarassed that I didn't google it myself . I'd be curious to read the read stats so I'll go and do some googling.

[joensally]

Originally Posted by flowmom

Thanks joensally, I'm embarassed that I didn't google it myself . I'd be curious to read the read stats so I'll go and do some googling.

I don't think there are real stats, although I did see somewhere in there that in some study or other 30% of parents stated that having a child with SN was not part of the reason for divorce (as in even a reason). IIRC!

I think this would be an impossible stat to actually nail down.

ETA: I saw a number of references to it being an urban legend, and the sites I saw citing it seemed to be preoccupied with the plight of autism.

[NightOwlwithowlet]

I have never been able to find a reliable link, study, or article, though I've usually heard it placed at 80% and as special needs kids, not kids with autism.

My experience, that I readily is admit is anecdotal, is the opposite. My son is 7 and we've reached the point where a lot of our friends and acquaintances with same age kids are divorcing. They mostly have typical kids, one has a kid with mild ADHD. The friends with special needs kids (ADHD, ASD, SPD, cystic fibrosis, bipolar) are not divorcing. I do have one friend who is a single mom with a son with ASD, but they split when he was 6 weeks old.

I'm not sure why, though an informal survey, revealed a lot mothers snorting and saying "Who can afford to?" I'm not sure if my life and the people in are typical or not, but I think people divorce because there are underlying issues in the relationship Maybe, a child's disability brings those issues into focus, but doesn't cause them.

My husband and I have some major difference in how we parent our child. Those would be an issue with any kid, but with a kid with a disability, DH's go with the flow attitude and lack of consistency were a bigger deal to me, especially when our son was small. My control freak, research everything nature is better suited for our son at this time. I guess what I'm saying is our son's issues made this a bigger issue, but didn't cause it. I think that could be true of any stresses in a marriage; finances, in-laws, careers, death of a child.

[KatWrangler]

Hmm my marriage is screwed then. Let's see my husband is Bipolar II. Divorce rate for Bipolars is like 90%.

We have a special needs child too. Divorce rate someone mentioned is 80%.

Sigh....Good thing we are in therapy.

[pixiekisses]

The divorce rate for parents with one special needs kid here is 70%. (No matter what the SN is.)

Yeah well, we're the other 30%.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by NightOwlwithowlet

I'm not sure why, though an informal survey, revealed a lot mothers snorting and saying "Who can afford to?"

I think good health insurance helps hold some marriages together.

Raising a SN child puts a lot of extra stress on a marriage. At the same time, it can also add to the reasons to always work things out and to keep trying even when it seem impossible.

[oceanbluemomma]

Check Age of Autism or Generation Rescue - it is a sad truth..Autism families have a higher rate of divorce than multiples and other families with special need kids.

I remember reading this statistic and my jaw dropped. How the heck would I handle a divorce - stay at home mom, homeschooling, vaccine injured child with autistic like symptoms and I haven't worked in 10 years! Thank god I have a very supportive husband.

Linda
Warrior Mom to Nick and 3 more!

[Eyelet]

Sadly, I'm prone to believe it. In the circle of ASD parents I know through our chapter, it seems that most are either divorced, separated, or have serious relationship issues. I can see stress, not enough support, and money being a huge part of it.

I also recall reading a survey somewhere (I'll have to dig it up to find it again), that ASD parents also have a higher incidence of substance abuse, suicide, and mental health issues (depression, anxiety, etc.).

Talk about uplifting...

[auraorigin]

I do not have a link but if you have problems per say they are sure brought to light with any stressors, especially child rearing and any sense of "nonnormalcy" although I ascribe to the belief that if you can survive these stressors whether small or large, whatever curveballs life throws you, than you can make make it. But if not than f*** him, its a little uncomfortable, but we are capable of doing it on our own. Its a little easier with support and companionship and keeping up the societal image, but oh well, why do 1 in two marriages end in divorce? Whether or not your child has special needs? Hope you stay together but if not...you and your child will still be okay.. although its nice if he can pay for the insurance.

[CAKJNH]

Numbers change...studies are still too "young" to be understood

In my opinion, having 2 special needs children (oldest DD has Tourette's middle DD is autistic), statistics don't matter. Autism is still a relatively young "disorder" and it is so complex that I don't feel they'll ever really get the numbers down anyway. Being a very broad spectrum of disorders, no one will be able to say really "Aspbergers parents...blah bah" or "Autistic Disorder..." Each child who has autistic like characteristics is not even diagnosed. Many don't "qualify" for a certain disorder or it is mis-diagnosed.

If we let the numbers into our heads, our children wouldn't be doing so well. All of our children have exceeded everyone's expectations. But then, my husband don't do anything "normal" so why start now?

We DEFINITELY have our issues, but we tell everyone who asks "how do you do it with 2 special needs kids PLUS 2 others?": This is OUR normal! It's never been any other way for us...so why wouldn't we "do it?". (Side note: Homeschooling helps us a lot because we only use the labels when we need to help someone understand us a little more.)