8 year old DD wanted to runaway last night !!

[La llorona]

Hello:
I really don't know if to freak out or not...Overall we're a happy family ..me, DH (36), DD (8) and DS (5). I recently started working a couple of nights a week (Counselor) I work at a night school. Last night I came back aroud 10PM and my DD was still awake and we had a long conversation.
She told me that she was planning to run away !!! last night and meet her friends (who live nearby) and come back around 1AM...they were planning to solve a mystery near the school they go to () They are 4-5 girls all of them really nice, quiet, and good students. DD and her friends love to read mystery books (Nancy Drew, Boxcart children) it could be my fault , i love that kind of books too, also ghost stories, but I never thought they could take it that far!!!! she even showed me her backpack (equipped with flashligt and everything).
I guess she got afraid and told me, we had a nice conversation, and I was tired but now I can't believe she was planning to do that. She told me not to tell the other moms, I haven't told anyone, not even my DH.
I'm happy I'm very close to her and she decided to tell me, but I'm freaking out anyway...
Please if you have any advice, or you've been there, I'll appreciate it..I haven't posted in this board in a long time, please help me if you can

Consue
clueless counselor

[MeepyCat]

It's possible I'm missing some information, but it sounds to me like your eight year-old is an imaginative kid who wants some adventure. That's the best kind. I love that she packed a bag with a flashlight and everything.

If it were my kid, I'd have wanted to sit down and get details. What was the mystery? Were there any preliminary clues? And then I'd have told her that as much as I love the plan, it's dangerous for her to sneak out by herself - I can be the sidekick for some investigating, on weekends during the day - and in the mean time, I'm happy to talk to her about the plans for investigations. At breakfast would be a good time to do that. Or if she comes up with something really cool and can't wait, perhaps email?

I would tell the story to DH, because it's a story about how awesome the kid is, and because he should keep an eye out for any possible future sneaking out, and because I would totally want us to be able to play this game with her, to give her the occasional household mystery to solve (maybe with an appropriately designed clue to start off) or to use it as an educational tool (Mysteries at the library! the zoo! the art museum!).

[LaLaLaLa]

It's hard to read books all about adventure and not to want to try to get in on that adventure yourself! If you're a kid reading mystery books, especially, it seems like every time these kids turn around, there's something exciting happening. And in the end, it ALWAYS all works out. When you're 8 years old, it's easy to believe that's the way the world works. When you're the mom of an 8-year-old, it's easy to feel pretty freaked out about the thought of your daughter exploring at night.

I agree with the idea of the PP about encouraging the sense of adventure, but with you along for the ride. Can you create a secret mystery for your DD to solve? Can you take her lead in investigating, maybe explore with her and help her create her own adventure story?

I would definitely make it crystal clear that your DD is not ever to sneak out at night by herself, but I would maybe try to work it so every so often (once a month?) the two of you could have a grand adventure to meet that need. Maybe even at night, in the dark. How cool!

[hillymum]

My brother and I used to do that! As it was getting dark by 6pm we were doing it earlier in evening, but it was just an adventure, not running away. We would sneak through all the backyards of our (friendly) neighbours.
Can you suggest to your dd that she and her friends do it in the early evening? If they really want the excitement of sneaking off to do it you could have them okay in the back yard knowing they are all going to go off in a group. (If your area is safe enough that is). I have started sending my to older boys out on their bikes after talks of what to do if one gets hurt, someone tries to get them near a car etc. Scares the dickens out of me, but then I remember I was riding a bike to the village 4 miles away by the time I was 7.

[La llorona]

Thank you!!

Thank you so much for your replies..I knew what she wanted to do was harmless, but just the way they had everything planned out reaally freaked me out!!!!
The idea of having a group of girls in the early evening in my backyard investigating it's awesome!! I'm gonna talk to DD and see if we organize something, mystery night or whatever....by the way the mystery they wanted to solve is something they found in the school yard, a piece of wood with some inscription on it???
The other thing that I've notice is that DD wants to be more independent. I'm from Chile and when we go visit she notices how different kids lives are there (going to the store by themselves, taking the bus, playing inthe street at night, etc) she envies that . Her friends are in the same situation and talk about it all the time !!!
Anyway..Thank you for the cool ideas, you really made my day!
luv
Consue

[velochic]

I think it's important to note that your dd did not want to "run away". She wanted to act out an adventure. Running away implies that she is not happy and well-adjusted. What you are describing is a very happy child that has a great imagination and wants to have fun.

I would plan a mystery party with her friends and have an adult supervised adventure with the girls. It sounds like she would love this. I've done similar things with dd (scavenger hunts are very safe "mysteries" to solve) and she really enjoys them. GL.

[mum21andtwins]

She didn't want to run away! she wanted an adventure. My ds1 has wanted to do that I did it as a kid. didn't get further than the garden before I ran back inside scared of the dark lol!

I'm not entirely sure I understand you reaction to what has happend.

Ds1 wanted an adventure a few months ago. we kept him up till after his normal bedtime and daddy took him on an adventure to the creek at the end of the road they had a snack and then came home again he was satisfied and I had peace of mind that he wouldn't go on an adventure alone and unprepared

[karne]

Originally Posted by velochic

I would plan a mystery party with her friends and have an adult supervised adventure with the girls. It sounds like she would love this. I've done similar things with dd (scavenger hunts are very safe "mysteries" to solve) and she really enjoys them. GL.

This is a great idea! We have done similar as well. Anything that occurs after dark seems to have the "aura" of mystery about it too!