A Bit Anxious

[sweetiebird]

Hi
I haven't been on much lately as I was starting to freak out a bit and had to get away from the early pregnancy talk and all that it entails. Yesterday I had my first midwife appointment. It was great. It was basically a meet'n'greet, I think where they like to confirm that this will be a good fit for you. As I'm about 12 weeks, I asked if we could try to listen to the heartbeat on dopplar. She couldn't find it. She looked only for a couple of minutes, and didn't seem too worried about it.

I'm starting to panic a bit. My next appointment is in two weeks, when we do the full physical and all that. I have a requisition for bloodwork that I'll do either tomorrow or Monday. She added betaHCG to that test after we didn't find the heartbeat. I know that it is still early not to hear the heartbeat on dopplar and that the babe could be moving like crazy or I have an anterior placenta or something, but I'm still worrying. We heard my DS at about 12 weeks, so I was totally expecting to hear it this time. I was thrown for a bit of a loop. Any words of wisdom out there???

Wendy

[trimestersdoula]

Try not to worry, as hard as that is. My doc tried to find the baby's heartbeat and my uterus is wayyyy out of my pelvic bone already and we couldnt find it. Again, she only tried for a couple mins total. I have heard a lot of people say that it can be difficult to find it even up to 17-18 weeks so try to stay calm. Im sure everything is ok.

[MJB]

I'm a skinny mom, which is supposed to make it easier, but when I went into the ER over the weekend, at 13w5d, neither the nurse or CNM could find the heartbeat on the doppler (and I'd heard it already at my first prenatal a few days prior). They brought an U/S machine in and the baby was fine. It can be hard to find at this point in pregnancy! I think I do have an anterior placenta this time around because I've felt movement a few times since 12 weeks but never right out in front, only in the very top left "corner." I could definitely feel more movement than this at 14 weeks with both of my boys.

[sweetiebird]

Thanks guys

My DH wants me to fake something so I can go to emerg and get an u/s to check on things. I told him that we shouldn't do that. He just wants me to stop worrying and stressing and to put me at ease. It's hard because I had two u/s early with DS where I saw a heartbeat (due to some bleeding and a panicky first time mom) and that was very reassuring. It sucks when the nausea goes away and I basically feel ok, but I'm still having some pretty intense food likes/dislikes and thirsty like crazy. I think. I don't know. This can make a person crazy!!!!

Wendy

[trimestersdoula]

When I was having trouble with anxiety last pregnancy (due to some bleeding), my doula recommended I go sit in a dark quiet room with my own thoughts. She told me to figure out how I felt. Did I truly feel that something was wrong? Did I truly feel that the baby was alright. When I did this I kind of relaxed and only thought of my baby. I came to the realization that I knew everything was alright. I was right and I felt soooo much better afterwards. Mother's usually know if they are allowed to.

So me, as a doula, am recommending you try this too. What does your heart really say? Its sooooo easy to let your mind take over. Especially from reading (hearing) others experiences and from your own past experiences.

[naturalmomma1]

Awwww, it CAN make a person crazy! I like what trimestersdoula said though. Sometimes when I feel anxious, if I really think about it, I feel like I know deep down that everything is alright. That does help. (hugs!)

[sweetiebird]

trimestersdoula, thanks for the idea. I think I'm going to try that tonight after DS is in bed. It'll also be a good time for me to try to figure out if I'm feeling movement or gas I think this will be good for me. I'll let you know how it goes.

[trimestersdoula]

Please do

[lisalulu]

My mw had a very hard time finding the heartbeat when I went in at 12 weeks. Eventually she found for like a second or two and it went away. It was really disconcerting because my other two weren't like that. But she wasn't concerned at all either. She said there's so much space and baby is bouncing around making it difficult to pick up.

[lindsayb]

Originally Posted by trimestersdoula

When I was having trouble with anxiety last pregnancy (due to some bleeding), my doula recommended I go sit in a dark quiet room with my own thoughts. She told me to figure out how I felt. Did I truly feel that something was wrong? Did I truly feel that the baby was alright. When I did this I kind of relaxed and only thought of my baby. I came to the realization that I knew everything was alright. I was right and I felt soooo much better afterwards. Mother's usually know if they are allowed to.

So me, as a doula, am recommending you try this too. What does your heart really say? Its sooooo easy to let your mind take over. Especially from reading (hearing) others experiences and from your own past experiences.

Great and kind advice. Thank you.

[matey]

Aw, hugs mama. Listen, I am 12 weeks. Last night my dh and I dug around for like 10 minutes and finally found a heartbeat with my doppler. This afternoon I wanted my son to hear it, but for the life of me I couldn't find it. I think at this point, these babies just dont make it easy on us. Try and relax!!

[mystify42]

*hugs* and calming thoughts to you, Mama!

I was actually coming on to post about my hilarious OB visit yesterday! Because of all the snow predicted for the mid-Atlantic today, the front office apparently tried to reschedule a bunch of Friday's appointments for yesterday afternoon. I was originally scheduled for the last appt of the day yesterday. The OB came in an hour after I had already been in the exam room. I had read some of my book, skimmed through a few magazines, and even fell asleep after trying some deep breathing! On any other day, I would have been really angry that it had taken so long, but I was in a calm place yesterday - excited to hopefully hear the hb, DS was home sick with DH so I didn't have to rush to pick him up, etc...

Nice little chat with OB and then he said "Let's hear your little rascal." Sure enough, the babe was being quite the rascal. He tried for 10 minutes (I think I stopped breathing after 4-5 minutes) to find the hb. Started out midway between belly button and pubic bone, then tried lower, and finally said "let's try higher and see... you never know!" Sure enough, found a faint but steady hb ABOVE my belly button. Mind you - I'm only 13.5 weeks! WHOA! This explains why I'm having such lovely digestive issues and am short of breath already - I can't believe baby's up there so high.

ANYWAY - long story short, if OB had stopped after the first try, I wouldn't have heard a hb either - and baby's fine. It is still early, you never know where your baby is hanging out in there... higher than expected, lower than expected, behind placenta, etc...

Keep us posted after your next visit - but I'm sure everything is JUST fine!

[lunarlady]

Funny story here too. My OB couldn't find the heartbeat this week, and I've had a lot of bleeding and was very nervous, so "come back in a couple weeks" wasn't going to work for me. So I wrap myself up in the "drape yourself" sheet, tromp over to the procedure room, and we fire up the ultrasound. The OB actually couldn't fine the power switch and I had to help him. Sort of funny. Then he goops me up, and starts looking. Right away he finds the baby. Waving arms and kicking feet, opening and closing hands, bouncing and turning. Still can't find the HB. "Well," he mummers, "there must be a heartbeat if it's waving." Haha. Eventually he does find it, but the little bean was bouncing around so much he had trouble measuring it. Eventually I heard him mummering "one-two, one-two...let's say 150."

It was so comforting to see my bean on the ultrasound that I was ready to forgive the ball park HB. We could see where the bleeding is coming from (an area behind my placenta) and he said that the size and development look perfect. So all's well.

Hang in there! I know it is hard. If I was with my HBMW, I would have been out of luck. I guess there are both positive and negative aspects to not going high tech western medicine. "Wait a few weeks" certianly falls into the negative catagory.

[sweetiebird]

I never did reply... my DS got sick, and then so did I. I can't wait for cold/flu season to be over!!!

I did what Trimesterdoula recommended and I totally felt ok. Still definitely nervous, but that's just in my nature

So, thanks all for the support. It is really appreciated!!

[trimestersdoula]

Oh, Mama, that is so good to hear!!! Not that you and DS were sick of course, but that you felt alright. I am sure everything with your baby is fine and the chance of anything happening now is super super slim. Hugs.