CPS says we can't homeschool. FINAL UPDATE (for real) POST #189 - Page 6

[Smithie]

"If CPS was trying to remove a local family's right to homeschool, I would want to know, and I would do whatever I could to get down to the courthouse and support them. This would be especially important if the judge is elected-- if s/he knows lots of people are watching, s/he might be more careful about following the letter of the law, which would be good for you."

Ditto.

I'm so sorry for your trouble, mama. The role that CPS plays in our society is a necessary and vital one - WHY can't they seem to concentrate on dealing with the clear-cut abuse and neglect cases? Why are they always attempting to expand their authority into the lifestyle-choice realm?

A long time ago in this thread, I advised you to move. I hereby renew this advice. Once you are legally cleared of your CPS case (and now you have a lawyer who can advise you of exactly when that will be), FLEE. You are on the radar of the local bully, and you are never going to get off it.

[mykdsmomy]

Oh mama, you are living my worst nightmare come true I have been following your story and will continue to pray for you this week.
It is unimaginable how a family who is trying to do what's BEST for their children, can be put under the microscope and torn apart like this.
Stay strong and remember you have tons of support here. We're all cheering for you and sending you strong positive vibes and prayers

PS. Have you thought about contacting a reputable newspaper or news station? Check with your attorney about this, but it may be something the media would be interested in. Oh also, what about the ACLU?

[member234098]

I have not read the other posts, but my personal experience with CPS is that they are NEVER honest with the parents about anything and bully parents all of the time. Co-operation means nothing to them. Show up with lots of mean looking relatives and have all of your papers ready and evidence ready.

Is the lawyer yours or is he court appointed?

Have you contacted HSLDF? I have never really known of anyone who was helped by them, but they should be able to help you or direct you to wherever you can get help.

Good luck and G-d bless you on Tuesday!

[Kristin0105]

First just wanted to say good luck tomorrow. As I read your first post I have to say my first instinct was that CPS was not being forth coming and they were going to go after your homeschooling. I would ask Brian to consult with HSLDF. Because you are going to need as much legal support as possible. I would also not rely on the fact that a psychologist might give your girls a favorable assessment regarding homeschool. My experience is that psychologists don't necessarily understand or support homeschooling. They see "socialization" as the be all and end all and they often only see that as possible within the school system.

FWIW, I am a psychologist who saw too many families that had abuse issues and hs'd to hide them so I had a less than favorable view of HS for a long time. I now HS my dd and have to listen to friends and collegues tell me my dd "needs to go to school for socialization and to learn how other kids her age act." This because she is deemed "too mature for her age." It's as if they think we live in a cave and never see other kids. My point being even the best intentioned of us may get it wrong from time to time. Get all the legal support possible, this may not be pretty and you have too much to lose. Good luck.

[Violet2]

Good luck momma.

Also,are you sure you want to leave your posts up with the whole story????? I would hate for someone to connect the dots against you based on this forum.

V

[maybemom05]

I just wanted to wish you the best of luck tomorrow! Please know that I will be thinking of you!!

[GuestMama42]

Originally Posted by Violet2

Good luck momma.

Also,are you sure you want to leave your posts up with the whole story????? I would hate for someone to connect the dots against you based on this forum.

Thanks for your concern. DH and I were rereading what I wrote and if someone did figure it out, then I haven't said anything I wouldn't say in court. Honestly I don't know what they would do to me based on any of this when I have said all of this and more to our lawyer, our CPS worker, and many friends in the community.

Basically our lawyer is going to say tomorrow - that we are willing to follow the recommendations (continuing therapy, some dose of an SSRI, DH more involved in DD's care, girls' pediatrician in charge of tests and hospital admissions) in fact we would do them whether CPS was involved or not. And have been doing them for almost a year. Except for the homeschooling recommendation - and he's going to explain how we homeschool and show the testimonies from my therapist and the girls' teacher that there are no separation issues there. Also it's our constitutional right. Also he's going to say that despite our willingness to cooperate with most of this, this is still a bunch of crap.

Our hope is that, as our lawyer says, this is a judge that sees horrendous abuse and that ours is a case where we were parents who were too worried, too concerned about our kids. So hopefully that will be the attitude. Here we go. Wish us luck.

[jeliphish]

What is the allegation specifically... Medical neglect, mental abuse, etc? If you need to PM me that's fine and I know we have talked before but I'd like to know more info before giving advice as a social worker. Are they saying no homeschooling bc they are concerned about inadequate supervision?

[kwg]

[Dr.Worm]

[happy1nluv]

good luck today!!! i hope you get a great judge who sees this as the bs it is!!!!!!

[lotusdebi]

Thinking of you today. Hoping for the best!

[ambersrose]

thinking of you and your family today.

[ebethmom]

Thinking of you today.

[GuestMama42]

Court

It went about as well as it could have.

We were the first case called which meant almost no time for me to sit and worry. My MIL, best friend, and the girls' teacher were there and the hearing began with the three attorneys arguing about whether they could be in the courtroom. The judge looked down at his info on the case and you could almost see a look on his face like, "really? this is why we're here?" and called for counsel to meet in his chambers.

They were in there ten minutes and someone came out and got the CPS worker and they were in there ten more minutes. They came out and the judge said that as we were willing to follow all the recommendations except homeschooling and since we had been cooperative we would just see how things went til the adjudication hearing (on April 20) and if things continue as well as they are we would hope for a dismissal then.

That was it.

Brian, our lawyer, said that behind closed doors the guardian ad litem for the girls really pushed for public school until he explained what homeschooling meant for us. At that point the judge said that unless the CPS folks could prove educational neglect (and that is SO not an issue - my kids are both smart and evidently above grade level) he was not about to infringe on that constitutional right (and as Brian said in the meeting, "when the judge starts arguing your case for you, you just shut up."). The judge asked what the concerns were and CPS said that unbiased adults lay eyes on the girls most days to see how they were - especially medically. Brian offered other ways to meet this and also said that there are many adults who do already but CPS says that those adults have all become friends of the family (the girls' teacher who is one of those friends said, "that used to be called community and used to be considered a good thing."). But the judge seemed to find that ridiculous. He evidently said, "Well we are going to work toward dismissal on April 20."

Except for the unreasonable hope that the judge was going to stand up and castigate the CPS folks and the psych evaluator for being way out of line and bureaucrats run amok, it went as well as it could have.

I feel a little but more I feel tired and pained that we have gone through this at all and hope that it truly will be over in April. I will continue to update you all and be grateful for the support of this community!!

[Callimom]

WONDERFUL!
Such good news that the judge is reasonable.
Here's to a dismissal next month!

[Storm Bride]

I've been following your thread, without knowing what to say (and unable to contribute anything to the legal side, as I'm not American). I just wanted to say I'm sooooo happy that it went so well. I'll be hoping for the dismissal, as well. And, good for the judge. I'm glad he seems to have seen this for what it is...ridiculous.

[Chamomile Girl]

I have been (silently) following this thread with you the whole time, and I wish you peace and strength.

And its nice to see that in such a crazy, crazy situation that the justice system is sometimes functional!

[Kailey's mom]

Glad it went as well as I could have. Praying that it is dismissed FOREVER in April.

[mama_ani]

I have been following your thread and just want to say how happy I am for you that it is all turning out well!