Why does it irritate people so much if you don't find out the sex? - Page 2

[twead]

we didn't find out last time and won't this time either. We didn't get a lot of flac, but then I don't seem to be a magnet for rude unsolicited baby advise. Don't know why, but that is just the way it seems to be.
However, my sister who has no children had a cow. She took my mom shopping with her so they could pick up baby shower gift and had to call me during the shopping excursion to tell me that I HAD to find out RIGHT NOW so she would know what to buy. So I after explaining that I couldn't possible find out right now I asked her if they had anything yellow, green, orange or white. Those were all good gn colors. Then, the back story was that she had told my mom, who has 4 kids, 'you can't buy that because it is a boy/girl color'. I guess the shopping trip was a bust, she ended up going shopping w/ my other sister and they opted to only buy bath supplies. I mean a TON of bath supplies. They could have bought the stroller I had registered for instead. My sister is LOADED but her portion of the stroller (they would have split 3 ways) was $5 over her budget. I ended up returning $80+ of bath supplies and still didn't buy any until ds was well over a 18mo old.

[KaylaBeanie]

My parents and grandparents are excited that I won't find out in advance when the time comes. My mom didn't find out with me and did find out with my sister, and says it's much more exciting to keep it a surprise. I also plan to keep names a secret until after the birth. It seems like everyone finds out and announces the name wayyy before birth, and it's almost anti-climatic when baby arrives. With my nieces, it was like a long-lost family member arrived at the airport, since we knew their name/sex for months before they were born. I look forward to being able to surprise everyone with the sex and name after (s)he is here!

[mammabunny]

I've run into the same treatment. And we haven't gotten one gift for the baby yet. I was told by a family member they couldn't buy anything b/c they didn't know if it was a boy or girl. And I replied, "feel free to buy anything in any color of the rainbow, except pink or blue." And to be honest, boy or girl, I don't want all pink or blue anyway. When we had our first, we found out the sex, since my husband's grandma was dying and we wanted to give her some hope to hold onto, we named our son after her husband. She didn't make it to my son's birth, so we're glad we told ahead of time. My son got tons of gifts, everything baby blue. This baby hasn't gotten anything. And it's partly b/c its our second child, we really don't need a lot. But I gaurantee if I announced the sex, we'd have gifts by now. Why does it matter? Ive been able to find yellow, green, tan, white, etc, everything!

[Gray's Mommy]

We've gotten more people upset that we haven't selected a name yet than not finding out the sex of our 3rd. We didn't find out with the other 2, so why would we go the other way this time around. That seems to shut people up fairly quick

Good for you for not finding out I swear it makes pushing a bit more fun!

[Kontessa]

Last baby we did not want to know. I was so happy in the not knowing and the waiting to know. However it seemed like torture for friends and family and so when the midwife wanted me to get an ultra sound because of all the weight I had lost to just make certain we would not have any other surprises at the homebirth I had them write the sex down on a paper for one of my best friends. Anyone that wanted to know could ask her with the understanding that DH and I and the kids did not want to be told. They all enjoyed it and so did we. Best friend slipped up just days before the delivery but I was just so happy I did not care, I was happy to be out shopping with her actually. It was wonderful!


This baby, we just had to know for some reason, no joy in not knowing this time.

My thinking is that others that care about us and our family want to feel close to the pregnancy and they unlike us can not be kicked by baby all day long. I think they bond with information about baby, what every they can get. I understand it just as much as I understand the need to not know!

[claddaghmom]

It would bother the heck out me not to know about my own baby. But I would never be mean to someone who was keeping it a surprise. I think it's respectable in its own right.


I just can't waaaaiiit lol.

[dollysods]

last pregnancy my mom got me a tank top that said "not finding out"... i will wear it again this time. we got a lot of gender neutral stuff at the last shower but were told by everyone we were no fun. everyone i know around here finds out.

[1babysmom]

Originally Posted by dollysods

but were told by everyone we were no fun.

That's exactly the phrase people use about us!! Personally, I think it'd be no fun the OTHER way around. But I'm not about to go telling everybody that!

[Carma]

We are also keeping it a surprise this time. One of the reactions was, "but then you have to come up with two names" .
I do think that when you know maybe some would feel a little closer to the baby in your belly, it is no longer 'it'.
But I love that it is a surprise this time, it is exciting, we are extra looking forward to the birth now.

Carma