9-month-old and sleep--help!

[raedog]

This is my first post to the forum. I am a first-time mama to a wonderful baby boy. He smiles and laughs and from all appearances seems as happy as can be. But he's sleeping less now than he did at 4 months, and that's the rub. I can't quite pinpoint what it is that is waking him--hitting developmental milestones?, teething?, separation anxiety? A few things about us: DS slept in a co-sleeper for the first three months, until he started turning over and outgrew it. Now he sleeps in a crib right beside the bed. Since he was 4 months old, we have had the same nighttime routine: bath at 6, book, nursing down. At 6 months, he began eating solid food; he eats solids three times a day and still nurses quite a bit. So, the nighttime routine is now solids, bath, book, nursing down (he usually goes to sleep while nursing around 7/7:15/7:30 p.m. But he no longer goes easily into the crib; 9 times out of 10 he wakes just as he is put into the crib and cries until he is picked up again. Sometimes we (he and I) go through this routine five or more times until DH steps in and manages to put DS into the crib and keep him asleep. The baby wakes anywhere from two to six times a night, and it's anybody's guess when it might be. (When he was 4 months old, he pretty regularly got up around 2:30 to nurse and then settled back into sleep till he woke up for good in the morning.) DH can sometimes manage to soothe him back to sleep by lying beside him and softly singing; if I pick up the baby, he must nurse. I'm exhausted and starting to feel completely depleted, both emotionally and physically. The other issue is that he has never been a great napper--in general he might take two naps a day, but most are never longer than 30 minutes. AND I nurse him down for most naps--or he naps on the fly in the car seat or stroller or Ergo--and I usually end up sleeping with him on the bed. So I'm not able to take advantage of the time when he does nap, because I can't leave him on the bed by himself (plus, I have to say that I do love nestling up against him!). I am looking for ways to get him to nap on a more regular basis and ideas as to why he might be waking so much at night these days--and how I might teach him to self-soothe more, since I have basically taught him to expect the breast whenever he wakes up or goes to sleep....I love our nursing relationship--and I have been adamantly against CIO--but I am getting to the point where I really need more sleep to deal with his increasing activity during the day (he's going to walk any day now!), and to feel like a functioning human being.

[voxana]

It's probably a developmental phase. I've got no advice for you, but I can relate. My 9mo is also having a harder time to settle both at night and for naps. He sleeps okay during the night (so far), but getting him to fall asleep is the trick. Also, my two good friends with 9mo babies are also dealing with the exact same thing. So, I'm thinking (and hoping) that this is a developmental stage and that it won't last...it is so frustrating though.

BTW, a number of my mama friends have tried CIO with their babies and even that doesn't always work, or they have to do it again every time the baby hits a new developmental milestone. That's totally not worth it!

[Louisep]

Hugs. 9 months seems to be a breaking point for a lot of mamas on here. It could be any number of things and I went nuts trying to figure out the cause and never did. A few things I do know:

For many babies it's a passing phase and once the tooth pops through or they learn to walk, they start sleeping again. Look up threads on here about "sleep regressions".

Babies go through different sleep needs. It may be that you need to change things up. Would you be open to having him in your bed? There are ways to make it safe without you there. You all might get more sleep that way.

I've coslept since day one and when ds hit his sleep regression, I figured out the easiest way to get him back to sleep and for me to feel most rested was to nurse laying down. We now cuddle back to sleep mostly.

Finally, my main advice would be for you to manage your own sleep deprivation. Sounds like you're a sahm? Definitely nap with baby (this is how I get my son to take 2 hour naps. I nap for a bit and then get things done on my iPhone so feel like I get me time too). Can your dh take your son in the morning for a bit so you can get more sleep? At least do this on the weekends.

Believe it or not, waking a max of 6 times isn't the worst! We've had every hour as have others. If you take care of yourself, you'll get used to it. I feel pretty good mostly even with ds waking every two hours. I know it's tough though so hang in there, you're not alone.

[voxana]

Originally Posted by Louisep

when ds hit his sleep regression, I figured out the easiest way to get him back to sleep and for me to feel most rested was to nurse laying down.

This helps me too because it saves having to transfer the baby after he falls asleep. We attached the crib to our bed.

[allical1284]

No advice, just and to let you know that we are going through the exact.same.thing! I am exhausted; DD (also 9 months) wakes nearly every hour and will only nurse back to sleep. Even with co-sleeping, I am unable to sleep while she nurses.
I am just trying to focus on the hope that she will outgrow this soon!!!

[Icehockey18]

I think maybe you should try co-sleeping. That would take away the stress ( for you and your ds) of trying to get him in the crib. I don't think there is anything wrong with your ds needing to be nursed to sleep. I personally think it's like having a super power, but I love nursing ds.. Anyway, side laying nursing gives you more rest, plus you don't have to get in and out of bed. I know how it feels to feel trapped during naps and bed time when you have a million things to do, ds WILL NOT sleep alone, ever. I have just learned to take advatage of the down time to rest myself (if you knew my pre-ds you wouldn't believe it! I couldn't sit still for 5 minutes!)
hopefully you will find a solution. Good luck