Moving to Japan

[seattlemamma]

Here is the scoop. I am a military wife and just found out we are PCSing to Japan. I believe after my due date? August 23rd. I have the option of moving to Washington State very friendly to our type of birthing choices plus both sides of our family live there or to Georgia while my Dh trains. If I go to Washington MY Dh will not be able to be at the birth. This is my fifth baby and he as been at all the births. He is my rock my grounding wire. I do not know what the laws are in Georgia yet. Any input would be great. Just at a loss for clear thinking right now.

[Serenyd]

OMG ... pretty earth-shaking news ... and hard decision to make. What does your DH think about it?

[zoebird]

i think that it is helpful to recall that UC is not illegal in the US, and therefore wouldn't be in Georgia.

the next question would be what you want/like your UC to look like--whether or not you require back up care and whether or not that can be provided in Georgia.

for my own part, i would go with my husband.

[ferndoula]

Hummm, well, how have your previous births been? do you expect a long haul or a shorter easier labor... not that we always get what we expect I know, but how you labor will factor into your decission. With it being baby number 5 you likely have a sense of what you need. If your husband has been an essencial part of your previous labors, and a source of strength, maybe you will decide to birth where he can attend? If you think you may be looking at a relitavely short and uncomplicated birth, you may well be able to have this birth anywhere. You can focus on your husband, and let the other things go.

If however, you had longer labors, or maybe very hard labors, and felt that your choice of birth place played a very strong roll in how the birth went, how your felt, or how it was resolved, then you may need to think harder about how to have the environment you need, and maybe this means no husband there???? Some women are very very sensitave to the environment, and feel very strongly that if they were in a different environment things would not have gone well. (like if they had been in the hospital rather than at home or the other way around).

Good luck, this is a tough tough situation and my heart compassionately goes out to you.

[basje]

If he is your rock I'd say follow him where ever. Where in Georiga? I used to live there so maybe I can give you some tips?

[seattlemamma]

My births are very short. From start to finish, the last one(a UC) came in 30 min.. I like no noise, no smells, and no touching. I love the water and use hypnoses for birth. I am very much a leave me alone type of gal. My Dh's presence just gives me peace of mind that if anything were to go wrong he could handle it. He has basic EMT knowledge. My main concern about Georgia is the paper work(birth certificate) afterwords seems pretty bothersome/complicated. If they do not approve the witness you have to get a court order.(so I've heard) We will be at Ft. Gordon Georgia. My main concern is the postpartum period my Dh will not be able to help. That is why I am leaning towards my extended family. I tend to get severe PPD

[Serenyd]

Originally Posted by seattlemamma

My births are very short. From start to finish, the last one(a UC) came in 30 min.. I like no noise, no smells, and no touching. I love the water and use hypnoses for birth. I am very much a leave me alone type of gal. My Dh's presence just gives me peace of mind that if anything were to go wrong he could handle it. He has basic EMT knowledge. My main concern about Georgia is the paper work(birth certificate) afterwords seems pretty bothersome/complicated. If they do not approve the witness you have to get a court order.(so I've heard) We will be at Ft. Gordon Georgia. My main concern is the postpartum period my Dh will not be able to help. That is why I am leaning towards my extended family. I tend to get severe PPD

Have you ever eaten your placenta? I have heard good things about this warding off PPD. You definitely need help after the birth, and if your DH won't be able to help you, that would be a deal-breaker for me ... unless someone would be willing to come and stay for a couple weeks and help out. Good luck!

[basje]

:)

You've got a lot to think about.

I would suggest that you post in the tribes section of Georgia to ask about the birth certificate for an "accidental" at home birth. In Georgia you'll want to describe it as accidentally progressing to fast to make it to the hospital. Politics, politics.

It's good that you're thinking about your support system after the baby arrives. Knowing that your husband will be limited in what support he can offer you while training, can you investigate what other support in Georgia you could get from other sources. Military community isn't something I know anything about but is it likely that you would be getting meals or visits from other military wives? Or would you be active in a faith community that might be able to offer some practical support? What about different family members coming and staying with you for a week at a time after the baby is born? Being that you know that you might be faced with PPD, could you take different preventive measures to help lessen the extent? Eating the placenta, regular exercise, psychotherapy, medication?

You've got a little time to make this choice, and I am sure you will make a good one. Explore all your options, then imagine what each might be like. You'll make the best choice for yourself and your family I'm sure.

[cathicog]

I know several CPMs in Georgia if you are interested in finding pp doula care(while your husband is at work) or getting info on hte birth certificate...PM me, or you can look in Finding your tribe...

[seattlemamma]

Thank you all so much for talking this out with me. It has really helped me. My DH starts training in May and we both decided it would be best to move to Washington. I will be able to spend more time with my family before we leave for Japan and the kids will have more time with their cousins and friends. I am looking into eating my placenta or encapsulating it and will probably start Zoloft right away..this time. I always try to wait six months so the baby has more pure breast milk, but the way it was last time the baby will probably do better with a healthy momma. I definitely need the postpartum help with four other children and do not feel like I can get that with strangers in Church or the military community.

[zoebird]

i think that sounds wonderful!

i really valued my time with family before our move to NZ. I made a point to spend a lot of time with them so that DS and everyone could really enjoy each other.

[Serenyd]

Congrats! I always feel better after having made a big decision, it's like having a weight lifted, I know you must feel so much better. Good luck w/ everything!