Why do mothers think that caring for a circumcised penis is "normal"?

[KGB]

On other boards I'll see people talk about caring for a circumcised penis as if it's something completely normal! It usually goes something like this:

Put vaseline or ointment on and wrap with gauze to soak up blood, baby pees and cries, while changing diaper, retract foreskin to prevent adhesion, baby cries, absorb any bleeding, clean the area, reapply ointment, vaseline, gauze, put diaper on, comfort baby, rinse and repeat for WEEKS.

Care for an uncircumcised penis: Wipe like a finger. Done.

Is it just an "ignorance is bliss" mentality? How can mothers go through the cleaning process thinking that it's completely "normal"? It boggles my mind.

[bandgeek]

Because in most baby books and magazines it says "Don't forget to buy vaseline! You'll need it to care for your baby boy's circumcision!" Like it's totally necessary and why would you consider something different? I remember my sister telling me that she went to visit a friend who just had a baby boy. He was maybe a week old. She said he was sleeping and peaceful and then out of nowhere just started screaming bloody murder. She was freaked out and asked her friend what was wrong with him and she very nonchalantly said, "Oh he's probably just peeing" like it was no big deal that her kid was experiencing horrible pain. It's sad that it's so normal that women can turn off their mama bear instinct for something THAT painful and harmful. Just go through the motions, hand him to the nurse, relax until the bring him back, then unwrap and wrap his little penis up for the next 2 weeks and don't forget to check for infections and bleeding! That's the routine. If you think too much about it you start questioning it and there's no point in that because the decision has already been made.

[MeepyCat]

Anything you do every day is normal to you.

ETA: Although, having cared for a circumcision, this does all sound a bit much to me. It was really more like, clean, vaseline, rediaper and I don't recall it lasting anything like weeks - a week and a half maybe.

[an_aurora]

The threads (on other boards) about "should I use cloth or sposies for his circ? Which one will stick less?" really make me want to puke! And I had a grandmom at work ask for an extra hospital shirt because they didn't want to get blood all over the baby's cute outfit!

[catters]

I just got into a really heated debate on a different forum re: circ a couple weeks ago. It really opened my eyes regarding the issue. I mean, before I had DS, I never once thought about what I'd do regarding a penis if I ever had a son! LOL NEVER. I guess I just assumed I'd do whatever had been done to DH (he is circ'ed). Then, my SIL, had her son and they did not circ him. It was truly the first time I ever thought about it and having done just even a TINY bit of research on it, I was dead set against it. The thing is, not really that many people really think about it. It just IS the way we (at least here in the US) do things. I brought up the point that I bet no mom who circumcised her son has ever had to defend her decision or even had anyone ask her, "Oh, really? And why did you do that?". Because that is the norm! I've had several people ask followup questions when they found out I did not circ my son. "Is DH circed?" "Why not?" etc. No one IRL has every gotten weird on me except my own father. He totally freaked at us (WHILE I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL!!) and gave me some lame-o story about his elderly friend who had to be circ'ed recently for penile cancer. I mean, really? It's just SO ingrained in our culture that this is the acceptable practice these days (although I know awareness is slowly changing yay!) that you have a boy, you circ, and then you deal with the care and that is that. And honestly, I think it is the men who are the ones mostly keeping this thing alive. They all want their boys to "look like them". Thank goodness DH didn't care about that at all.

[eepster]

There is a jar of unopened Vaseline and gauze pads somewhere in my house that were gotten simply b/c they were on the list of what you "need." We had no idea what they were for at the time, but they were on the list so we figured we would need them.

I think we finally figured out what they were for when DS was around a month old and we still hadn't found a use for them.

[notjustmamie]

Whoa ... is THAT why they gave me so much vaseline at the hospital?? I thought it was for the meconium diapers (which, since my milk was taking it's own sweet time coming in and he was jaundiced, we had for about a week). It never even occurred to me that it could possibly be for something else.

[ursaminor]

Originally Posted by an_aurora

The threads (on other boards) about "should I use cloth or sposies for his circ? Which one will stick less?" really make me want to puke! And I had a grandmom at work ask for an extra hospital shirt because they didn't want to get blood all over the baby's cute outfit!

Yes, that's actually why I hopped on here just now: I read something similar on a similar site. Sometimes it really really bothers and makes me deeply sad Sometimes I even avoid TCAC just because it can stir up sorrow in my heart.
I am considering taking the journey to become a certified lactation consultant, and I feel sad already knowing I may have to help a mama and baby with circ related nursing difficulties, later on.

[beru]

I don't know why I do this. I am probably just a masochist. But I sometimes search for "circumcision" on facebook, then filter by "posts by everyone". You can see all the status updates of people who have mentioned circumcision. It seems like 1/2 of them are "[baby boy] just had/is soon going for his circumcision. I am so sad/worried for him. I wish he didn't have to go through this pain but he is a brave boy."

He doesn't HAVE to go through this. This amazes me. It's so pervasive. These parent are clearly not informed on circumcision. These are the people that I feel have never been informed. "Do you know you can choose not to circumcize?" They seem to have no idea that they don't HAVE to do this.

[K703]

I recall that when I was first old enough to notice it (and for several years afterwards) there was a big container of Vaseline that was slow to be used. I haven't asked, but I wonder if that was a "gift" someone got my mother because they thought I would be circed (thankfully I wasn't)?

[CrunchyChristianMama]

My sister got vaseline in a squeeze bottle because the mom knew it was easier to just squeeze it on the penis and not have to rub it on with your finger. It ended up being helpful as she circed all 3 of her sons. With her third she said one of the reasons she was hoping for a girl was so that she wouldn't have to deal with the circ (this was during a diaper change). It's amazing that it didn't occur to her that even with a boy she wouldn't necessarily have to deal with a circ either.

[claddaghmom]

Originally Posted by eepster

There is a jar of unopened Vaseline and gauze pads somewhere in my house that were gotten simply b/c they were on the list of what you "need." We had no idea what they were for at the time, but they were on the list so we figured we would need them.

I think we finally figured out what they were for when DS was around a month old and we still hadn't found a use for them.

LOL Wow thanks! Now I know why people gave me vaseline and gauze.

I never asked them b/c I thought maybe it was an old fashioned treatment for the mom afterbirth or something!

(Only some people knew the gender of my baby).

[mntnmom]

Because for them it IS normal. Many women in sub-saharan Africa don't realize that it's possible to get pregnant and deliver healthy babies without some form of circumcision. They are confused to hear that it NOT normal in the rest of the world. Just like American moms who have never known anything different, and are confused to know that 80%+ of little boys in the world are let intact. It's just not part of their realm of experience.