Son's Birthmom is Expecting

[nicole_marie]

...and she wants us to parent this new baby.

We adopted Cameron from her when he was 3 months old. He just turned one year. She is due in August. We are excited!!!

However...financially...OUCH. We are still paying for our first adoption and he had health issues that could not be healed with western medicine. Alternative treatments were financially draining.

My questions...
Can we do this through the county? Or an attorney? Do we still need a homestudy?

In other words, we have already gone through an adoption with her and we have a beautiful open relationship together. What is the most affordable way to make this second adoption happen?

Thank you!
Nicole

[lovebeingamomma]

I have no info just wanted to say congrats!

[kathteach]

Your homestudy should still be current from your first adoption, right?

[Thandiwe]

Um, wow. I really have no advice. I can only imagine how much your head is spinning!! And wow that she's having another baby so soon and is not able to parent this one either. Wow. Congratulations!! Sounds like a tailspin of excitement and preparation!! But how awesome that she's interested in you right away!

[alicia622]

WOW!!! That's all I can say. I hope you can figure out how to make it happen!

[mamadebug]

Different states have different rules, of course...

but I would assume you would still need a homestudy. We were told that here in CA, they are good for 3 years. So, if your baby is only a year, yours may still be good.

I don't think you would want to do it through the county. That would mean she gave the baby up to them, and everyone would loose control.

I would think contacting an attorney would be your best bet in this case, especially if you have already worked with her and she is sure of what she wants to do.

Good luck!

[nicole_marie]

Thank you! Anyone have attorney recommendations in MN?

Our agency told us that we would need to update our homestudy because we added a family member...hence a change in our "status". *shrug*...I dunno! I certainly wouldn't think we would have to completely re-do our homestudy, with home visits and all of that hoopla.

From my understanding, we can get an attorney and that would eliminate the birthmother counseling fees (which she already has...counseling for life, from her first placement with us). All other fees we would have to repeat. Seems a bit silly. There has to be an easier way? Maybe we could find a different agency that has lower homestudy fees (we don't need hand-holding this time around, it would be a very easy homestudy).

I was really hoping that we would be able to do a private, independent adoption, but I'm not even sure if that's an option. If it is, our agency is not telling us.

[nicole_marie]

...and thank you for the congrats everyone, we are very excited!!! (more like cautiously optimistic, but you all know what that's like)

[luv-my-boys]

Originally Posted by nicole_marie

I was really hoping that we would be able to do a private, independent adoption, but I'm not even sure if that's an option. If it is, our agency is not telling us.

I am not familiar with the laws of your state but I would *think* that it is. Did you have your homestudy done thru your agency? If so ask them how long it is good for, like you stated they may have you do an "update" but surely it shouldnt be the entire homestudy process all over if anything I would think it might just be a quick look at your financial position now that you have your child and maybe a few homevisits.

I personally would look for an adoption lawyer in your area. They can draw up the legal paperwork for the adoption and assist you filing the needed paperwork. Plus they would be able to work out any agreements in terms of expenses or laws in your state.

[crl]

I would consult an attorney. Every state is different, but if yours allows independent/private adoptions, I think it is likely you could do a homestudy update (one home visit with all family members present) and have the attorney do the paperwork for the adoption.

Best wishes!
Catherine

[sbrinton]

I don't know the laws of your state, but I think it shouldn't be too expensive. There's no need to pay agency fees. Most of those are for matching or birth mother expenses. You might look into joining some sort of legal plan. I know that through my husband's employer, our legal plan covers adoption lawyers for a not so whopping $17 a month!

Makes sense that you would just need a homestudy update too.

Another option would be to find a non-profit adoption agency that would not try to make money on the adoption.

[galesville1980]

Congrats! the same thing happened to us!!! Our son is turning 1 march 7th and his BM is due with our daughter march 27th!!!! We are so excited and blessed we still can't believe it!!!

[ChristyMarie]

Consult an attorney. In my state, I would not need to use an agency or have a homestudy - it would be done all by the attorney becuause you have found each other on your own.

[queenjane]

Originally Posted by ChristyMarie

Consult an attorney. In my state, I would not need to use an agency or have a homestudy - it would be done all by the attorney becuause you have found each other on your own.

You dont have to have a homestudy? I thought that was required of all adoptions, regardless of whether they are private or agency?

[ChristyMarie]

Nope, in IL if it is a completely private adoption within the state no homestudy is required. But that is only if there is no agency involvement and if the birth mother is willing to appear in court at the hearing - as normally the agency acts in her place so she doesn't have to go.

So the OP should check it out with an attorney, it can save a lot of money.

[SundayCrepes]

We did a private newborn adoption in Arizona. We paid an agency $1,000 for the homestudy and our attorney fees were $3,000. Post-placement fees were about $500. The agency does not match, it only does homestudies and post-placement. You find your own baby. I forget how long you've got on your homestudy to only need to update it, but it's at a reduced risk.

So, if your state doesn't require the use of an agency except for the homestudy, find out if you can get the homestudy by an agency that does not match--perhaps they do a lot of international or interstate homestudies. And get an AAAA attorney.