Watching tv with baby crawling around

[veganfox]

Hi mamas! I was just wondering. Do you watch tv while your baby is in the room?

My DS is 8.5 months old and crawling all over the house. We spend most of the days alone cause his dad has to be at work till 7pm. Sometimes I get pretty lonely and I will play a show or something on tv or my laptop. When it's on the laptop I keep it away of baby's range so that he can't really see the screen. But I can't do the same with tv. He will not stare at the tv or actually watch. He will look at the tv sometimes but then will ignore it and go back to crawling and playing. I don't play it loud and I don't play violent movies or anything. I don't know...I guess I want to hear what other mamas do cause I feel guilty about it.

The thing is...I think I'll go nuts if I don't have some entertainment other than playing with DS. I have very few friends & family here since I'm an immigrant and I find the tv comforting.



Of course I've never actually played the tv FOR my DS and I don't plan to do it before he turns at least 2.

[ErinYay]

Aww, momma, it's okay.

I have an 8 week old who has been hellbent on looking at the tv or my laptop, and it's already making me crazy. We plan on being zero intentional tv for the LOs until 2 at the very earliest, so I can absolutely relate! (Snowbound with one vehicle in a newish area, to boot!)

My theory is that grownup tv is far better to have on when a LO is in the room than kids tv. Kids tv is so much more hyperkinetic and frenzied than adult dramas, and is designed to attract and keep their attention. Boring old-people shows are a lot easier for kids to block out while they play.

My younger sister and I were raised tv free until 2-3, and then it was only Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers. My parents did watch the news and other adult programs, and I remember distinctly having them on in the background, but ignoring them for the most part. (I do recall being very upset at every mention of Regan's Star Wars program as they never once showed a picture of an Ewok!)

I do turn my girl away when she fixates on whatever screen, and will be re-installing the doors that cover the tv screen once she becomes mobile, so I can have my dopey documentaries and Law and Order on without the screen being seen. I guess I'll have to save video games for naps, as I do need the screen to harvest moons and age dragons!

[lkmiscnet]

I'm in the same boat with the same age child, but he's not crawling yet or showing any signs of doing so. He was a month premature.

I watch the morning news shows and a few shows in the afternoon and I'm paranoid about whether that is having any adverse impact on my DS. Like you, I am home all day and I can only entertain my DS for so long. So, I like to watch the Today show, maybe Rachel Ray, Dr. Oz, The Drs, and the news just to have something else in the background. Sometimes I feel guilty that my attention is divided though.

The TV does catch his eye and I have tried to put up a barrier for when he's on the floor so he can't see it, as I really want to keep him from watching TV. Then, I wonder if having all that background "noise" is harmful. My ped wasn't too concerned when I mentioned this to her yesterday at his check up.

So, I just want to say that I think you are doing pretty good.

[Abraisme]

Personally, I don't worry about that kind of thing at all. Unless your baby sits like a zombie in front the TV, it's fine. I really can't imagine that it's causing any damage for a baby to glance at a tv once in a while. My DS didn't even pay attention to the TV until he was over 2.. I think you're doing perfectly fine and shouldn't beat yourself up about it.

[veganfox]

Oh mamas thank you so much for your replies and support. You have no idea how much it means to me to 'talk' to people that can relate.

[Madalyn]

I do the same thing or if it's off I usually have music going. I have to have some type of background noise. My son never really seems interested. He'll glance at it for a second or two then back to conquering the world.

[Holiztic]

We bought good (big, over the ear, padded) headphones when DS was born so I could watch while I nursed him (all day!) He was nursing, so turned away, and he heard no volume.

When he hit 5 months and started to turn his head to see (even briefly), we moved the TV out of the room to a spare room and I went TV free for 7 months until DS was able to sleep for the first few hours of the night alone--then I'd watch in the spare room.

We are serious no-TV for babies/toddlers people, thus our path.

It is TV before 2, though. I'm not going to tell you its wrong, I really think we need to all make parenting decisions for ourselves and our families. The fact that you are even asking this question shows what a good mommy you are! Just please don't fool yourself that your baby is not experiencing (seeing, hearing, feeling) TV just because its not for him.

(take this as my opinion, as you asked for opinions--but no guilt mama! it does no one any good!)

[tracysroberts]

Originally Posted by Holiztic

We bought good (big, over the ear, padded) headphones when DS was born so I could watch while I nursed him (all day!) He was nursing, so turned away, and he heard no volume.

When he hit 5 months and started to turn his head to see (even briefly), we moved the TV out of the room to a spare room and I went TV free for 7 months until DS was able to sleep for the first few hours of the night alone--then I'd watch in the spare room.

We are serious no-TV for babies/toddlers people, thus our path.

It is TV before 2, though. I'm not going to tell you its wrong, I really think we need to all make parenting decisions for ourselves and our families. The fact that you are even asking this question shows what a good mommy you are! Just please don't fool yourself that your baby is not experiencing (seeing, hearing, feeling) TV just because its not for him.

(take this as my opinion, as you asked for opinions--but no guilt mama! it does no one any good!)

I agree, it is TV. We don't own one for this reason and only watch things on computer after he is asleep.

[springbride]

I was worried about this at first too. It's like the harder I try to keep DD away, the more interested she becomes.
One thing I did that seems to help, I try to put her down in different areas of the room with toys each morning, like a 'scenery change'. And I rotate the toys that she gets every few days.

Though, when my friend offered to lend me their Baby Einstein Set to entertain DD, she said, "When DD was that age, we had to stick her in front of movies in her car seat to keep her happy", I started to worry a lot less about my child watching 15 minutes of 'Good Morning America' then getting bored and going back to her exploration of the living room/chasing the cat!

[j_p_i]

I put tv on in the morning to watch the news, and I do sometimes forget to turn it off while playing with DD. I also turn it on while she's napping. I don't think she has ever looked at it, honestly, except when the Simpsons came on. Most of the time when she is awake I like to play music though, because she really seems to enjoy that. The times I do have the television on I don't worry about, as she seems to really care less about it and we focus on other things.

[SamiPolizzi]

I'm kind of in the same boat. I'm a single mom and I spend the good majority of my time at home with DS and it gets very lonely, so I tend to have the TV on a lot, even if I'm not watching it. Pretty much the only time DS even looks at the TV is during the theme song of whatever show is on and sometimes at other times when there's music playing. Then as soon as the music ends he's back to crawling around and doing his own thing.

I tell myself that as he gets older I'll have the TV on less, but I really don't know when that's actually going to happen. I'd like to eventually get to a point where it's only on when he's asleep.

[Icehockey18]

I was worried about the tv with ds also, so I just stopped watching, cold turkey about 3-4 months ago. What pushed me over the edge was an article I read (sorry I can't recall it now) that said babies can't tune out the noise like adults can. I had always kept the volume low, but ds could still hear it. It was weird at first, not having the tv, but now I don't miss it at all! Dh still watches sports, but usually after ds is in bed. And if ds is up dh keeps the volume low and we both keep him occupied so he doesn't look at the screen.
This is what we have decided to do as a family, and like a pp said, it's our opninon, so take it as it's worth. I have many friends whose kids watched baby einstein, and other things to 'keep them occupied' and their kids seem 'fine'.... But, I will add this. I have two friends with children (girls) the exact same age (almost 4). One grew up tv free and one started watching early on (starting in the car) and still does. The one who grew up tv free has much more imagination and verbal skills then the one who watched tv...... So take that story for what it's worth, but I think there is some correlation there...

[tracysroberts]

The term for not being able to tune out sounds is auditory heirarchy. Children don't have this until they are about 7 or 8.

[Abraisme]

Originally Posted by Icehockey18

But, I will add this. I have two friends with children (girls) the exact same age (almost 4). One grew up tv free and one started watching early on (starting in the car) and still does. The one who grew up tv free has much more imagination and verbal skills then the one who watched tv...... So take that story for what it's worth, but I think there is some correlation there...

Imagination is mostly a personality trait, it's not created because of more/less stimulation. My DS didn't pay attention to the TV or watch any kid programing until he was over 2, he still has ZERO imagination. On the other hand my best friend has let her kid watch a little bit of TV since he was 18mo (he's 22mo now) and he has TONS of imagination. My son has a linear personality, I could see it from as early at 7-8mo, so I know it has nothing to do with watching television. Each kid is different and I agree that TV is not for babies, but I don't think that a little bit is going to change anyone's personality.

[Icehockey18]

Abraisme- You are right about the imagination... I just feel like the one that doesn't watch a lot of TV can play by herself and think of the neatest games with just random objects, while the one that watches TV has to be entertained a lot and needs a lot of help with play.... I guess it's not correlated, but just a thought...

[FloMomma]

We've been without TV for almost 3 years. We have a TV set, but it isn't hooked up to anything. When we want to watch something we use the computer and do so after DD is asleep. So, she truly never sees TV, UNLESS we're in public somewhere and there is a TV on and when that happens she just stares and stares. We play music for her and read tons of books and she plays with her toys alone while I watch. We aren't anti-TV, we still see certain shows on the computer, but with fewer commercials and commercials were one of the things I didn't want to expose my daughter to. Also, I am a stay-at-home-mom and we moved into this area 10months ago, I have no family or close friends anywhere nearby. I make the baby my focus and I like to read, so that helps. Maybe try just music sometimes if you're worried about it.

[Abraisme]

Originally Posted by Icehockey18

Abraisme- You are right about the imagination... I just feel like the one that doesn't watch a lot of TV can play by herself and think of the neatest games with just random objects, while the one that watches TV has to be entertained a lot and needs a lot of help with play.... I guess it's not correlated, but just a thought...

My DS has no imagination, but he can entertain himself for hours. He just does "real life" things with his toys. I think it's still more about personality.

[red and lulu]

Originally Posted by lkmiscnet

The TV does catch his eye and I have tried to put up a barrier for when he's on the floor so he can't see it, as I really want to keep him from watching TV. Then, I wonder if having all that background "noise" is harmful. My ped wasn't too concerned when I mentioned this to her yesterday at his check up.

while the noise isn't harmful, studies have shown that background television noise interferes with the depth of children's play and their attention spans, and interferes with language acquisition. they call it the "cocktail party effect": when there is that background noise, baby loses a lot more of what you may say to them.

i was having big tv guilt a couple months ago, though i was only watching when dd was nursing or asleep. then i read into the minds of babes and was simultaneously relieved and disturbed. relieved because as i was reading i had a number of "really? that's it?!" moments... but disturbed b/c of the sheer volume of what's going on in their little developing brains and the evidence that tv does change behavior and learning, even if it's in barely quantifiable ways. now, i can't even watch tv. i look at it as not a vote against tv, but a vote for other things.

that all being said, i agree whole heartedly with holiztic — i won't tell you it's wrong. i think you do what you need to do for you and your family. if it's helping you get through the day, it's doing something right for you. no guilt necessary!

[ErinYay]

CJ's Mama- that sounds like a really interesting book; I'll have to pick it up!

Did it mention anything re. radio, music, etc having a similar effect? Ideally, should our babies only be exposed to live human voices set against the sounds of the natural world (makes sense, as it's only been, what? maybe 200 years of cars, machinery, industrial noises, etc? So it's reasonable to think that we're meant to grow up in something of a noise vacuum? I mean, it's not gonna happen for most of us, but still.)?

[tzs]

i have it on although in theory i am a "no screen time" person. but to me "screen time" means plopping a kid down in front of a screen, tv or computer. i personally think most computer stuff is way worse than tv (in terms of effect on social interaction, verbal + emotional cue learning etc...)

my 5 MO will turn to look occasionally but i'm sure it's more of a "flashing lights" thing than a "watching tv" thing. she'd way rather have a nice piece of textured cloth to play with. and yeah, i've refused offers of baby einstein dvds.

it's great to do what's best for your babe but keep in mind that what's best for your babe also ties in to what's best for mom. and if some tv is what's best for mom then...well...

plus, i've witnessed some horrible results of no-tv kids in my nephews and nieces. they get a glimpse of a tv and turn into literally...evil, bossy, yelling, bad-mannered, disrespectful to adults...junkies.

i had been grappling with what to do with the house tv once our kid was old enough to watch and had been leaning towards getting rid of it for her benefit but after the last bout with the above-mentioned "no-tv kids," i'm thinking some moderate doses might be more appropriate.