returning to work and 12 hour shifts

[mamacolleen]

I'm sure there have been many threads about this but I'm SO tired to look.

I have a DD who will be 9 1/2 months when I return to work at the end of April (so roughly 2 1/2 months from now). I work as an RN and therefore do 12 hour shifts, which means roughly 13 1/2 hours out of the home when counting commute time. I will work probably 5 shifts in a two week period and hopefully not more than 2 shifts in a row. (I'm still crossing my fingers about working nights).

She is EBF (well we started some solids a few weeks ago, at 6 months of age). My DD has never taken a bottle. We tried daily between 4 weeks and 10 weeks of age, using tons of bottles, nipples, temperatures, times of day, bottle feeders, positions, level of hunger, etc. I am sure she will not take one now.

We are trying her on a sippy cup. I try it a few times a day (just with water now). She will occasionally take a few sips but mostly just tries to use it as a chew toy. Sometimes after she gets a few sips, she spits the water out!

Please tell me realistically what I can expect from a 9 1/2 month old in terms of her food/fluid intake during the day. I know about reverse cycling and will reluctantly do that if I have to but I'd really rather not since I function so poorly on little sleep (like I'm getting now) and I work on a VERY high-paced high-stress trauma/neurosurgery unit. I'm a little nervous about making a big mistake at work because of lack of sleep. What else can I be doing to encourage my DD to learn to take fluids by another source at this time? Should I just trust that she'll eventually figure it out in the next 2 months? I feel okay that she'll be used to enough solids when I return to work but I'm nervous about her not getting any fluids in a 13 hour period for 2 days in a row.

I could potentially ask her care provider to bring her to me at lunch time to BF her then.... but still that seems so long between times BF.

Are there any other mamas on here who work long shifts and have successfully returned to work? I'm nervous as all heck about it!

[feminist~mama]

Subbing- no advise- but I'll be in your shoes in 7 months or so and I'm already wondering how it's all going to work out! I do work night shift and likely won't be able to go to days....

[cileag]

I feel your pain! I head back to my 12 hour shifts in a week and a half and I'm going a little crazy.

That being said, I think that by April, your daughter will have figured out the sippy cup and be able to sustain herself on solids as well. My daughter is 3 months old and we've had some issues with her taking the bottle, but she will take 1-2 ounces grudgingly now (if I'm out of the room). I've been majorly stressing over this so I'm trying to get in the mindset of just knowing that my husband and she will figure out a way of making it work--and that I can't plan it for them.

Good luck!

[half-pigeon]

another commiserating post.

i am a new grad, looking for work . my son is the same age, never took a bottle, ebf. he will take some sips out of a sippy cup, but not much. i am hoping that he will pick up on drinking out of the sippy cup more by the time i find a job.

good luck.

[ER RN Mom]

I'm an RN too, hang in there!

I went back to work when my daughter was 12 weeks old. I would have liked to have been home longer, but it just wasn't possible for us. All I can say to advise you is just hand in there and give it time. Your little one will adjust faster than you will! As far as not using a bottle, by the time you go back the sippy cup use will probably be a little better.

Mine took a bottle, but never from me; she only wanted to nurse. Try having someone else give her the cup or bottle and see if this helps. Hang in there!

My only other advise is if you are doing 12 hour shifts is TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF TOO! Nurses are notorious for taking care of everyone else first. When I went back I worked 12's and I was exhausted. Luckily, I could switch to 3 8's and 1 12 a week.

Also, nights are sometimes better for some new moms. Especially if your little one sleeps well at night! I have work day and evening (until 1130 pm). At first I was sad about not seeing her at night, but my husband really took to the bedtime routine. Now it's their special time together without mommy, and I think it's really helped them to bond. I actually brought up the idea of switching my shifts so I could be home in the evening, and he was like "No! That's our time!".

Good luck!

[mamacolleen]

Thanks for the replies! I'm glad to know that I'm not alone.

My workplace doesn't do 8 hour shifts, so it's 12's only. I know alot of nurses I work with do nights only but my DD is not a great night sleeper and I think she needs me more at night. Plus I don't think I'd get any sleep during the days between my nights, which would mean more sleep deprivation!

I'm pretty sure she'll be good on solids by then... but I'm still stressed about the sippy cup. I think it might be time to just buy a whole bunch of types and try them all. I'm going to have a hard time going back to work and just *trusting* that she'll figure out how to drink from something other than the boob!

Any other RN's with success stories of transitioning back to long shifts?

[~pi]

FWIW, there is a huge difference between 7 and 9.5 months in terms of ability/willingness to drink from a cup. If you're really concerned, consider trying a straw cup rather than a sippy.

My DS started daycare a little later (at a year) but still having never taken a bottle and rarely taking a cup. He did fine. Hang in there and here's hoping you start getting some better sleep soon!

[starling&diesel]

I notice you're in Canada ... any way to stay on EI until she's a year? Did you start your EI early for some reason? If you did, you might want to know for next time (if you're having another child) that you can go on MEDICAL EI before you go on PARENTAL LEAVE. You just need a note from your doc or MW explaining that your pregnancy is making it difficult to work. I took ten weeks of MEDICAL EI and the 52 weeks of PARENTAL LEAVE, so I was off work with pay for 62 weeks total.

All that said, I just went back last Saturday for my first 12 hour shift as a paramedic, at a station that is half an hour away. So on a good day, if we don't get a late Code 3 call putting us into OT, I'll still be away from DD for at least 14 hours or so (getting to the station a little early to relieve the crew).

I did a few practice days, to work up to being away from her for so long. I did four hours (court appearance for a call I did), then six hours (rode along with an old preceptor to get my feet wet again), then nine hours (CPR recert). That helped in easing her into me being gone.

DD started using a cup at five months due to my low supply and need for supplementing, and so that has been helpful because she doesn't take a bottle of any kind. When I'm not around, she doesn't look for 'num nums', or so I'm told. She wants to nurse as soon as I walk in the door though, and has been super duper clingy the day after I'm gone.

I'm only working 2 days a week right now, and those two days are not back to back (Wed/Sat). I will be going back full time (2 days/2 night, 4 on/4 off) in a few months likely. I hope by then, it'll be smooth. Right now, it's feeling pretty rough. I miss her terribly, and can't pump. There's no time. I'm hand-expressing to relieve engorgement, and it's quite painful ... and I have low supply to begin with.

The lack of sleep is a huge problem. DD didn't sleep at all the night before my shift ... seriously, maybe an hour, tops (turns out she was getting sick). She got hysterical when I got ready to leave and I ended up being late because i nursed her to sleep finally at 645am. I was so tired that i could barely drive to the station, let alone drive an ambulance with lights and sirens. I asked my partner to drive. Not that it felt any better being the attending EMT. I double checked my dosing and tried to be mindful when doing lifts so as not to blow my back right out of the gate.

I'll stop rambling now. I could go on forever ... don't even get me started on childcare for shift workers!

[mamacolleen]

starling- thanks for the "real life" story. I didn't start mat leave early but we can't afford for me to take the full year as I am the primary breadwinner by far. It's a stretch to even take longer. My work only tops up for the first 6 months. We were able to save some extra but our LO is the product of a year of very expensive infertility treatments so we had to pay off some bills while I was pregnant before being able to save more for the mat leave. Plus, my partner is taking off the last 2 months that I'm missing. His top up pay is 100% as long as he needs it. It sucks. Sorry to hear you had such a crappy first day back at work! That's exactly what I'm scared of! Who does child care for you? I'm also nervous of not being able to pump at work. My partner thinks it's no big deal and they have to accomodate me.... he doesn't understand that I can't exactly up and leave in the middle of a code or if my patient is going sour or I'm expecting an admission, etc..... I would not get the support of my team then. There's so much out of my control at my work. I think the idea of practice days is a good one. I might do some in the month before I go back.

pi- Lots of people have said the same... that in a couple months she'll get the hang of the sippy cup.... but they also said she'd figure out the bottle when we were trying that and she never did. So I can't help feeling stressed about it. I've been looking for straw cups around here and can't find any. Do you know of any brands? They need to be BPA and phalate free for us to use them.

[starling&diesel]

Originally Posted by mamacolleen

Who does child care for you? I'm also nervous of not being able to pump at work. My partner thinks it's no big deal and they have to accomodate me.... he doesn't understand that I can't exactly up and leave in the middle of a code or if my patient is going sour or I'm expecting an admission, etc..... I would not get the support of my team then. There's so much out of my control at my work. I think the idea of practice days is a good one. I might do some in the month before I go back.

pi- Lots of people have said the same... that in a couple months she'll get the hang of the sippy cup.... but they also said she'd figure out the bottle when we were trying that and she never did. So I can't help feeling stressed about it. I've been looking for straw cups around here and can't find any. Do you know of any brands? They need to be BPA and phalate free for us to use them.

Both my partner and sister looked after her for the practice days and first day. I wanted to split it up because the day is sooo long and I didn't want either of them to get burnt out right away. Our plan for the first few months is that my DP will look after her on Wednesdays and my sister will have her on Saturdays. I don't think this will work long term, so for when I go full time, I have a mama friend who will take DD on days when my sister, partner or Mom can't take her. I'm finding that people are not interested in doing childcare for shift workers. The days are too long. My DP is a chef, so her days are long too. We'll just have to see how things go.

It's true that it's harder on us mamas. Even though DD was increasingly sick on that first day (we ended up in the ER a day later for a prolonged fever of >38.5) she still had a good time and was easily distracted whenever she got upset. The only hard part is naps, as I nurse her down. Other people can get her to sleep in the carrier or stroller, so they have that option.

I think it's important to have caregivers stick to the babe's routine as much as possible.

As for pumping ... I had great ambitions to 'slip' away and pump, but my practice day with my old preceptor showed how impossible that would be. We only got back to the station once, for a few minutes, and other than that we were in and out of the ambulance and hospitals and wherever we were collecting patients. Yeah. not realistic.

As for the cup, have you tried having DP offer it? Just with water. It might help. As for a sippy, the playtex ones good. They're all BPA free in Canada now. Just put some water in it and leave it around for her to explore. I promise you, she will get the hang of it.