The Amazing Sleep Fighter

[lifeguard]

We've been working hard on getting ds into a sleep "schedule" for months & months. We're getting there (apparently this is NOT a child that naturally falls into a schedule).

So we've got a bedtime routine established (which we have been doing consistently for MONTHS): nurse, bath, pj's, 2 books with me & then one with dh & then sleep. That's where things go awry.

We recently switched the nursing session to the start of the routine instead of last 'cause I was getting so frustrated with how long it was taking ds to fall asleep & I felt like I was in a fighting match the whole time. He's doing the same thing with dh. Pretty much the only way we can get him to finally fall asleep is to hold him firmly, shushing in the dark. It is very unpleasant for dh & I because ds cries through most of it, but if we let him go he will just go & go & go.

We have tried a variety of different timings - nothing seems to change the fact that it takes 45 minutes on average from the last book to when he finally gives in to sleep. I say gives in because he fights, fights, fights & then suddenly is asleep.

I so desperately want bedtime to be relaxing & enjoyable but right now it is just stressful & full of crying.

Any suggestions on how to get my sleep fighter to relax & sleep?

[MujerMamaMismo]

Subbing because I could have written exactly the same post - except we've gone back to me nursing him down because he just won't sleep for dp.

[prothyraia]

My first son was like this as a baby and young toddler. He would be SO tired, but couldn't stop moving and rolling around, so we would have to pin him down while he shrieked until he fell asleep. It was horrible, made me feel like we were being so *mean*, but there was nothing else that would get him to sleep. Trying to do it earlier so he wasn't as tired didn't help, wearing him and walking around worked but not any better than laying down with him, swaddling helped with the pinning down part but we still had to hold him, nursing didn't hurry things along, etc. etc. etc.

I would see pictures of babies who had fallen asleep while playing, with their butts up in the air and the hand wrapped around at toy, and be completely baffled as to how that could ever happen.

I don't remember finding anything that worked (although I may just have amnesia from the sleep-deprived fog we were in )

So I have no advice, just deep amounts of sympathy. Hopefully someone else has something useful to add!

HOWEVER, I will say that he's three years old now and has been known to say "Mommy, I'm tired." and then walk into the bedroom, tuck the covers up to his chin, and fall asleep for a nap entirely on his own. And his younger brother is one of those babies who falls asleep while playing, and has slept through the night since birth. So....it does get better.

[lifeguard]

Originally Posted by prothyraia

I would see pictures of babies who had fallen asleep while playing, with their butts up in the air and the hand wrapped around at toy, and be completely baffled as to how that could ever happen.

EXACTLY!!!! Ds has never, never, never come even close to do something like that.

[LadyCatherine185]

My DS is a sleep fighter too, but somehow it got better around when he turned around a year old. I started having DH do the hold/shussh in the dark thing. Also, our bedtime routine is SHORT.

One thing that has really helped us is, about an hour before 'bedtime' we turn all of the lights off in the house except maybe a dim lamp. We sit and read and do quiet things. I think this sets him up to get sleepy. Then for bedtime routine, we brush teeth and put on jammies, I nurse and he *asks* for "daddy nigh-night." DH sits on the bed and holds him and the first couple times he cried but then he realized he had to go to sleep and now he doesn't cry.

He also ASKS to go to sleep when he is really tired. He runs back to the bed going "SHHHHH Ni-night." Now if only he'd stay asleep longer than an hour, we'd be set....

it will get better

Have you read Sleepless In America? I got a lot of great ideas for structure during the day that has helped DS fall into a "schedule" of sorts.