Originally Posted by betsyj
You could try ACE'ing them- Acknowledge (Gosh good things these kids are cute huh), Compliment (your little boy/girl sure is cute and what a personality s/he has), and Educate (You know I used to spank but found I was spanking over and over for the same stuff and it was never getting any better. So, I went to the library and tried - insert whatever book you want - and really things are going so much better.)
Leaving is easier, but sometimes people don't know any other way to do something and if you frame it right you can help a child and his Mom!!
That! Our neighbors, very caring and loving parents, use to spank their daughter. One day, my son was acting up in front of the step mother. He was ignoring me and refusing to stop jumping neat the dog (small delicate dog). I called him over and had him sit next to me in a chair until he was ready to listen.
We call it "time to calm down" not a time out. I told him to take 10 deep breaths and then we talk about what he was doing. She was surprised I didn't spank him. We started talking about why I didn't spank or use more punitive methods of discipline. Since my son has severe ADHD, but is fairly well behaved, she thought there might be some validity to what I said. She borrowed some books and we talked about different ways to parent. They no longer spank or threaten her with spanking. She is a much happier kid and they are much happier parents.
Also DS's CP, when he was small, use to spank her kids occasionally. She was never negative with my son, she was very loving and firm. She was also the only person, outside of DH and I, that my son talked to. He had a severe speech delay.
Even though, we had very different child rearing ideas, she was a great childcare provider. She never spanked her kids in front or around my son. She eventually stopped, she uses a more positive form discipline. My son loves her and her kids, she still watches him five years later. She was really the first person he was able to connect with outside of our family. She's actually the first person he called by name.