How do you...

[Lil'Momma]

Hey,
I have a good friend who has a 3yo little boy who stays at my house some to play with my 3yo while my friend works and I am wondering what in the world to do...
He comes from a home where spanking is the first thing they resort to when he acts up, it's what he comes to expect and over the last week he has really been acting up at my house.
Today I heard him tell my 3yo he wasn't going to pick up the toys because he knew he wouldn't get in trouble. I feel like anything I do/say to him he just rolls his eyes at because he knows I won't spank him...
He has never acted this way before... the methods that work for my kids just seem to annoy him, but don't encourage his behavior to change. I've tried talking to him when he hits/yells/ect about what is making him angry and he just looks at me like I've lost my mind...
I've tried time outs and they just seem to be a time for him to plot his next shenanigan...
What would you do? I really don't want to tell my friend that I just can't keep her child anymore... I'm not sure she would understand. As soon as she or her DH come to pick up the little boy, he becomes this little, "yes sir, yes Ma'am" perfect angel. When we all go out he is the epitome of perfection... so I am thinking he just acts out for me...
Any suggestions?

[butterfly_mommy]

He is testing boundaries with you. If you are committed to looking after him then I think that you should continue to use GD, he will eventually understand the rules and expectations at your house and as you develop a relationship with him and he trusts you as a caregiver then he will want to co-operate. It will take time for him to trust that you will not hurt him as that is all he knows.

Good Luck

[One_Girl]

Originally Posted by butterfly_mommy

He is testing boundaries with you. If you are committed to looking after him then I think that you should continue to use GD, he will eventually understand the rules and expectations at your house and as you develop a relationship with him and he trusts you as a caregiver then he will want to co-operate. It will take time for him to trust that you will not hurt him as that is all he knows.

Good Luck

I agree with this. My friends son was the same way when I first started watching him and he now does what I ask him to faster than my own child does. I find when/then statements are very helpful with most kids I have worked with. I also find that when I am modeling how I want things to be done by doing an activity like clean up or brushing teeth with them they just participate because it is what we are doing. Pointing out the positive things may also help him want to do more things in a positive way.