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I just did something I swore I would NEVER do. - Page 3

post #41 of 47
Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post
I guess my big problem with the "it's public access" is that loging into their accound gives more then what is available to the public. You also access private corrospondance, which has the reasonable expectation of privacy. It's not the same as just visiting the facebook profile.

There is a huge difference between being "friends" with your child on-line and using their password.
post #42 of 47
My kids are still youngish--14 and 11--and they both have facebook accounts, and the accounts, like their email accounts, were established with the knowledge that both parents would have access to the accounts.

The youngest only really uses facebook to keep in touch with the grandparents. She decided she doesn't like having email, so she just uses my email account when she needs to.

I tell that that I check their accounts from time to time, but mainly it's just their walls. I also tell them how much I appreciate that they appear to conduct themselves with intelligence and dignity on facebook.

FWIW, they also have access to our facebook accounts. They know both my husband's and my email passwords, our facebook passwords, and the oldest knows our bank account password. Some of this has to do with some individual international travel that occurred, and we wanted the oldest to have access to money and information should she need it. They are trustworthy kids, and honestly, I wouldn't feel violated if they checked my email or facebook. I don't have anything to hide, and I've told them this.

With the oldest, we recently discussed if she was still okay with us knowing her passwords. She said she was fine with it. I don't think we abuse her trust, and since she knows our passwords and doesn't abuse this, I think we're kosher here.
post #43 of 47
Thread Starter 
I confessed and apologized to M last night. Her response? She laughed at me and then told me not to worry about it. Thank God for giving me such a chilled out relaxed child. And thank you all for giving me the courage to do the right thing.
post #44 of 47
Thank you for doing the right thing. It may not seem like it but you did reinforce your DD's trust in you by being honest.
post #45 of 47
That's awesome, good on ya!
post #46 of 47
Originally Posted by JBaxter View Post
I read my 18yr old and 15 yr old internet stuff ALL THE TIME. I have the passwords to their email accounts and check their phones. They now I do it Im their mother and we have an open honest realtionship.
Seriously? You monitor your adult daughter's email and phone? What exactly is it that you are looking for?
post #47 of 47
This thread has given me a lot to think about. My dh and ds (13) are both on FB--and because of a FB reunion, DH may soon be an ex. I HATE the idea of yet another internet site entering my life, especially after it's already extremely negative impact on me. And I was very unhappy that DH let DS join without a family discussion about it. Now I need to set some boundaries and I need to step up and become the "monitoring" parent. It won't be easy taken away what I"m sure ds sees as his rights. But I've gottten some good ideas from this thread on how to set limits.
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